The Life and Times of an Average Coward
by Xielle Sky
Summary: This is where the scaredy cat is the main character of the story. "You know, you're not as cowardly as you think you are Zenitsu." "Is that an insult or a compliment?" "Well..." OC Reincarnated as Fem!Zenitsu
1. It's a Good Day to Die isn't it?

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 01: It's a good day to die isn't it?**

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_Is this... how I'm going to die?_

The cheerful rays of sunshine seared my eyeballs with the intensity of a flashlight directly pointed on them but with the addition of uncomfortable heat. The sky was blue with clouds here and there with the occasional chirping birds flying by. The breeze was gentle, raffling my long black hair with it and the glades of grass surrounding me.

It was such a beautiful day.

_The world must be mocking me and what the hell just happened? _A lone white flower, that I don't know the name of, was right beside my face, brushing its soft unusual petals on my cheeks. With its closeness, I could focus on the pink spots creeping on its edges, slowly dying it red as it continued to brush alongside my face. _What was the name of this flowers again? I can't really remember... but this was, Mama's favorite flower wasn't it?_

Someone was screaming on the background, I can hear them saying something but I can't really make it out with the ears that I was always proud of. What Mama and Grandma were always proud of.

(I have perfect pitch if you must know.)

And it gave me a lot, except for my sorry excuse of a sperm donor's approval. Not that I cared what he says.

My eyes were starting to get blurry and the white flower looked nothing more but an undistinguishable blob of color.

_Oh right... that guy visited didn't he? _That good for nothing lout that my super awesome Mama doesn't deserve had the nerve to visit while he was drunk out of his mind and started yelling and breaking things.

Speaking of yelling, I think Mama is the one whose yelling and... is she crying?

"Ma... ma?" My voice came out hoarse and wet to my ears, with the taste of iron heavy on my tongue.

I can feel someone grasp my numbing hand, squeezing it almost painfully. "Sh... ar...—right?... Baby... no!... ple—...!" Her usual gentle tone sounded wrong in my ears, if anything it was barely audible for me, but from what I've heard it was filled with fear, sadness, denial and anguish.

Mama was supposed to smile not cry, it was supposed to be a happy day since I won the contest. She's not supposed to cry anymore.

I tried to glance at her direction but I can't make out her crying face, but I know it was her from just a blurry glance.

With difficulty, I moved my lips to say something and I barely succeeded. "...Don'... cry..." The sobbing intensified. "Shmile... p'ease..."

The warm shaking hands holding mine squeezed tighter but I barely felt it. "Sweetie— please... Mama st—, needs... you, see— smiling..."

Peace seemed to wash over me for some reason, I didn't panic like what I usually would and I'm kinda confused at myself for not crying at all. Me, not crying at a time like this is new, but rather than dwell on it I accepted that fact.

I felt the pain on my side go away, as my vision completely blanked out on me and for the first time in forever all I heard was the deafening sound of silence.

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_Mama really is beautiful when she smiles._

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I thought the silence would last a lifetime but I was completely wrong on that account.

It was certainly surprising when I cried out of surprise and I heard the wailing sound of a crying baby.

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**A/N: So this thing has been inside of my head by the time I started getting sucked in this hella good series and I hope someone out there enjoys this _thing_ as much as I do. Because I surely enjoyed making it and I hope I won't disappoint fellow fans out there.**

**Anyway, I'm supposed to be doing my homework so bye for now.**

**Xielle~**


	2. You can be a kid again

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 02: You can be a kid again**

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_So I died right?_

The blurry image of the gigantic figure loomed at my face for the nth time, its giant fingers caressing my overly fat cheeks as if I were some newly discovered species.

(Or maybe I am? I won't be so surprised if that's the case.)

But for some reason, I never flinched once or got scared at all and I've been doing that a lot lately.

(By that I mean, the not getting scared part.)

I know to myself that I'm a coward. A scaredy cat if you will. A chicken or some other adjective that is equivalent to being a wuss.

(Horror movies and I don't get along, that's why I never bothered on watching one because the last time I did watch, I was escorted out of the cinema after five minutes into the movie for fainting. After I woke up, I fainted again out of so much mortification and Mama being who she was, just cancelled all of her plans and just brought me home while I'm still passed out. In the end we just watched a bunch of Studio Ghibli films and enjoyed ourselves. You see my point there?)

I would jump whenever I hear sudden loud sounds, which was embarrassingly most of the time because of my sharp ears. Some noise that would be a little bit inaudible to others sounded way too clear for me, I love my ears, but sometimes they just don't cooperate with my system.

So for me, it's such a surprise that I'm not being hysterical for the last three days with all of this. How I just died via gun wounds, but somehow was still breathing and inside of a baby's body.

The end part probably takes the whole cake of why I should be panicking, it's the greatest of all concerns and completely unheard of.

(Of course it's unheard, who the hell would say that out loud without being mistaken as a nutcase? Though there were testimonies about it all over youtube, saying they've seen glimpses of their past lives.)

Maybe it hadn't sunk in yet. Denial or shock or whatever the hell am I experiencing right now.

I can just see myself breaking down in the near future after it sinks in.

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**~The next day~**

_Oh... My ...God...__Holy sweet baby Jesus on a manger... Dear God no...nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononinonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono... (contd...)_

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**•••**

(Sorry to interrupt what you're reading but the MC is not available right now, we are switching to third person due to the author's incompetence to sustain you the MC's hysterical point of view that is nothing more but the currently repeating word 'no' with no spaces. As you are reading this, the MC is still with her mantra of no's at the moment so just keep reading even if this part is utterly useless and pointless. If you still wish to continue then carry on with the madness and you are forewarned that the next parts.)

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**•••**

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_Nonononononononono!!!!!!!!! There is no fucking way is this ever even possible!__I mean... what the..._

A cry left my lips and I wailed like the baby that I was. The giant woman that had been tending to me was humming now, her body swaying slowly as she carried me. Her voice was soft and caring I could tell, but my brain could care less about it, since this is all just plain impossible right?

_I must be dreaming._

(But does the dead even dream? I know that I died for sure, I felt my beating heart stopped and all the silence rushing into me for who knows how long. I knew that I died at that moment, basking in Mama's breathtaking smile.)

_But what else could explain this?_

Everything at this moment defies all logic, heck this woman shouldn't be this nice to a supposedly dead teenager like me. Or maybe she was not a regular woman, maybe she's actually an angel and she's looking over me.

_Her voice is really nice, I feel sleepy._

Maybe I should just take a nap and worry about this later.

_Yeah, that sounds like a great idea._

Without my permission, my eyes closed shut and the last thing I saw was a familiar breathtaking smile and a pair of warm golden irises.

_"Sleep well, my Senritsu."_

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The days passed on and the woman remained a constant.

She was there when I cried, she's there when I'm hungry, embarassingly enough, she was also there whenever I wet or soil myself and the reminder of being a baby _of all the damned things_ is really, really hitting me in the face that this is my reality now.

This is all real.

Not a dream, no matter how hard I wish or dream it wasn't it'll remain the same. I'm a fifteen year old girl stuck in a tiny helpless body somewhere in Japan where diapers are nonexistent and gas lamps where still in use.

I know for sure that this is probably Japan because Nihonggo was my third language, English and Filipino respectively being my first and second language. I have the mixture of Eastern and Western blood running through my veins, Mama's Japanese while _The-man-that-is-certainly-not-my-father_ was American. The man who took care of me since I was really young, and certainly the one I think as a father, was a Filipino man who works for us as a Domestic Helper. He taught me a lot things about life, he taught me how to cook, handwash my own clothes, and of course his language so that we could communicate to each other better. Plus back then, I was just four and I thought of it as our own secret language.

He loved me like I was his own child and I felt the same for him. He even let's me in on the video calls to meet his wife and children, when Mama and that guy started yelling at each other. His family were so nice and sweet just like him and I can tell that they love each other very much.

And me, as a kid with only one awesome super parent wished for that too. And I was hopeful that my parents would come through their problems and that _that guy_ would stop drinking at some point.

(But even as a child I know that it wouldn't be like that at all.)

He shielded me and became my shelter when everything went to shit with that guy, he even punched the asshole once when the sperm donor beat me up for pursuing my _'utterly useless talent' _and he even told me that no one could ever hurt me anymore.

He was my Nanny and Daddy in one and I hella cried when he went back home to his family. Actually, we both cried and I was full on wailing but I know that he has his own family to get back to and they were waiting for him to come home. I know to myself that he also stayed longer because of me, so I wasn't selfish enough to beg him not to go.

He was a constant for me in the twelve years of my life and we still kept in touch after that for three years.

(I wonder how he and his family are doing now? I bet they're doing just fine. And Goddamnit, I was about to personally meet his eldest son for the first time the next day before I died. What a shitty timing to die.)

The woman deeply reminds me of him and Mama. Which makes everything a whole lot painful but also bearable. She was someone who feels like the people I loved and its another reminder that it will never be the same again. The life that I lived before was gone, it's definitely depressing if I think of it that way.

All of it would just be memories, memories that in time I would forget.

(No, I won't forget it. Even if its easier to do just that, even if remembering makes it all the more painful and _oh God I'm not getting it all back._ I'll remember it and be happy that all of that happened to me, that I had a wonderful mother, a caring granny and a supportive father figure. I won't let it all go to waste.)

I was a sad, depressed crybaby bag of potato for a whole month and a half, mourning about the life I left behind. Even if I was like that, the woman never lost her patience and remained caring and loving just as the first time I met her.

It came to me that she was my mother after a week of her constant presence and soothing lullabies. I never really blamed her for any of this, she just wants her child to be healthy and happy like any loving mother would to her child.

I'm the type of person who could hold a grudge depending on what kind of shit the other person did to me or someone I care about, and that grudge would stay if I kept being reminded of it, but otherwise I would just let it go and move on.

(A great example is my beef with _that guy_.)

I could easily get annoyed especially if its something I'm very particular about or just a plain pet peeve of mine.

The woman was someone I couldn't even hate in the first place, because she did nothing wrong, just someone unfortunate who have won the cosmic lottery to have me as their child.

Why did God let me in on this second chance thing? I'm not even as deserving as those children who died way younger without enjoying or ever living their lives. Children who died of sickness, starvation or those stillborn babies that didn't even got a glimpse of what the world was like were those who should be in my place.

Mine's a bit short too, but at least I got to experience a decade and a half in the world healthy and with a loving family.

(I shouldn't be the one here, I was already satisfied at my go in life even if I do have more things that I want to accomplish.)

Heh, but even if I brood about it I can't really do anything about it can't I?

.

For several months I mulled over it, my other senses developing along with it. I could see her now (my mother) and she was as beautiful as I expected her to be, but younger than I thought she should be.

She couldn't be any more than just in her late teens, with fair complexion that contrasts her long straight black hair. Her cheeks were naturally rosy and her lips was pinkish that were always held in a tender smile.

It's her eyes that I find the most lovely of all her features. It was an unusual golden amber color that always has the shine of deep love and kindness. It was not a natural eye color but somehow I don't find it disturbing like the colored contacts people wear. They're all glassy and fake, to doll-like for my liking.

(Doll eyes are pretty creepy in my opinion, they always looked like they were staring right into your soul, and they did say that spirits could posess a doll through their hallow eyes and that makes it all the more scarier if anything.)

I think when I first saw them, I stared a bit too long that she started giggling that I was being cute or something, then she proceeded to squeeze me closer to her chest. It wasn't the greatest of experience for me so we both cried in the end.

(She cried because I cried, isn't she cute?)

I could freely admit that I'm starting to like her, but there's a small part of me that refuses the thought of it. Because what if I'm just using her to keep the pain at bay? What if I'm just using her to replace the hole that Mama left?

(I don't want to do that to a wonderful young woman.)

"Senritsu? You're looking a little too serious there my little Songbird." A soft voice came from above, and seeing the dangling piece of keratin, I grasped it with my tiny hands.

I looked curiously at it, like it was the most interesting thing in the world and I know that the young woman (a teen actually) was watching me as I do so.

For a moment I mulled over it inside of my head, unknowingly pouting and as a result earning a surprising high pitched squeal from Suzuran, the woman's name, that scared the crap out of me.

Tears welled up in my eyes but I fought the instincts to just cry my eyes out. Once I managed to held back my crybabiness, I glanced back up in those doe like golden eyes that held the same message everytime I look at it.

(_"I love you."_ It says, nothing more, nothing less.)

With all the concentration and willpower, I controlled my heavy tongue to do what I want.

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"...L've 'ou, Kaa-'an."

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The resounding shriek of joy after that was unsurprising and I just braced myself for the oncoming suffocation session. Her beatific smile made her face glow with nothing but sheer joy, and the clear tears in her eyes doesn't deny the warmth and brilliance that it held.

(But even if she's my Kaa-san now, Mama was still Mama and no one's gonna replace her. Kaa-san and Mama are a little different, they aren't very alike but also alike at the same time. It makes it harder and easier to accept that fact.)

I answered her with a smile of my own and I hoped that it had the same radiance as hers.

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I'm a year old now, hurray for surviving a year on this backwards world.

I've come to terms that not only was I reincarnated but that I am also reincarnated in an entirely _different time period. _

What if I'm even in an entirely different universe?!

(Oh, I dearly hope that that's not the case.)

The kimonos, the lack of plumbing, appliances and the lack of thermostats and electricity, because _Goddamnit universe, I'm gonna be fucking freezing to death when winter comes._

The quaint house that Kaa-san and I lived in was a little away from the village, surrounded by the forest and a clean river stream close by were we get our water supply. Despite that it's only us living in this area, there no sense of loneliness in the air, nothing but calm and peace that was brought by just one woman.

My ears seems to have an exponential upgrade since coming into this world. They don't only hear the one's that were the faintest of sound but they could also hear what would be considered inaudible to the human ears.

It was strange and scary at first because I could hear all this sound from different living creatures, and being surrounded by the forest were there were a lot of life resided in was not helping. But in time I managed to work with it as white background noise.

Suzuran or Kaa-san, has this very distinct sound from her heart, like wind chimes in a gentle summer breeze, its constant tinkle kept my mind at ease and calm, just like the woman herself.

"Senritsu, why don't you come over here?" My staring match with the crow on one of the lower branches of the peach tree was interrupted by the sudden call of my new name, but before I went of and toddle towards Kaa-san I gave a little nod to the bird in farewell, weirdly enough, it nodded back.

_Oh God! It nodded back! Is it a bad premonition or something?! Crows represent death right?! What if that was actually Death?! What am I going to doooo if I die again because of it—_

"Senritsu? Where are you?"

Shaking my head to take away the scary thoughts, I hastily toddled to her with an answer. "Kaaaa-saaaaan! I'm 'ere! There' a s'ary 'row out 'ere!" I looked back up to the branch where I've last seen it. "KYAAAAAA!!!!! IT'S MISSIN', IT'S OUT TO GET ME!!! KAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNN!!!!" I cried out in fear as I hurried over to Kaa-san who was waiting by the porch of the house, a scarf over her slim shoulders.

"Now, now," She smoothened my hair with one warm hand. "I'm sure the crow doesn't mean any harm and even if it does." She grinned, giving a glimpse one oh her baby canines. "Kaa-san is here to protect you." Then she engulfed me in her warm embrace with a joyful giggle.

She meant the words she said, no taint of lies, just plain love. I hugged her back as I closed my eyes in bliss. "I love you, Kaa-san." I wish it could stay like this forever.

"I love you too, my Songbird."

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_But that's just wishful thinking isn't it?_

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"Hey! Give that back!"

A snort. "Why would I? It doesn't even suit you." There was a mocking laugh and the kid tossed the object he was holding to the other taller brat.

Gee, I already know that I have split caterpillars for eyebrows you don't have to rub it in.

"Yeah, and what are ya' gonna do about it, _Senritsu_?" _Get it away from you and start running you little asshole, ya think I'm gonna fight when I'm just a two feet toddler?_

The name that my mother lovingly gave to me was spat out as an insult, making my frustrated tears well up even further with my hands clenched tightly in a fist. Anger raised inside of me as the bully waved the embroidered cloth around like a flag.

I waited for him to lower the precious gift back down, before I jumped up to reach it, only for it to be raised back up again. "I said give that back to me!"

"Oh, is Senritsu going to cry again? What a crybaby." The brat sneered down at me, enjoying what he was seeing.

_Come on Senritsu grow a fucking pair, you're so pathetic that you get picked on by snot-nosed brats!_

With all the anger that I could muster, I held back the tears from falling and glared at him with all my might, I snorted. "As if I'm going to cry, you, you stupid fuc— muffin fudger!" I gave him a smirk, which was probably not suitable for my young face.

"The only reason you pick on me, a helpless little girl because you can't pick on the other kids, you, you," _What was that word again? _"Weakling! Yeah, you're a weakling for picking on a little girl like me!"

I pointed at him with a devious grin on my face, an idea coming into my mind to get the headband but also leave unscathed and a winner, the grin widened further when I saw someone who'll give me that overwhelming victory. _I'm gonna show them._ The children took a step back in surprise. "And Daiki-ojiichan told me that when you're a weakling then it makes you unmanly." _Little boys like to think they're tough all the time don't they?_ Why not use the toughest guy's name in the village (though Uncle Daiki is such a softie towards me) and everyone knows that Daiki-ojiichan and I are close. "So you guys are both unmanly and weaklings, isn't that right Daiki-ojiichan?"

A shadow fell amongst us small children and the bear of a man made himself known by patting the brats' shoulders with one of his meaty hand. "Right you are, Brat! Now," He grinned, showing rows of his pearly teeth and making the two boys pale as a sheet. "Why don't you guys apologize and give something back to the little lady?"

The two nodded before hurriedly apologizing to me, shoved the embroidered headband to my hands and almost making me fall to my bum, then ran towards whatever hole they came from.

_Ha, pathetic muffin fudgers! Victory was won by this two feet scaredy cat._

A large hand stabled my footing and I looked up to meet the grizzly face of one Daiki-ojiichan. "You alright there Brat?" I grinned back at him with one tooth missing. "Thanks Daiki-ojiichan! You saved me back there."

Scratching his bearded chin, he crouched low to meet my eyes, but compared to my small frame he was still completely massive. "Haha, anything for a 'helpless' little girl like ya." Then the man proceeded to flatten me with head pats.

(I'm no dog you old man.)

See, he's more of a Mama Bear than anything.

I puffed out my cheeks as I tried to remove his heavy hand from my messily layered hairstyle, and I'm telling you it is h e a v y.

What does he even eat anyway? His torso could be five of me. "You know, I'm only helpless because I'm two. Not because I chose to." Which makes me seventeen if you include my past life.

Seeing my fruitless effort to remove his hand, he ruffled my hair harder while laughing that full bellied laugh of his, and after getting satisfied with the mess he made, he finally removed the offending appendage. "Ahahahahaha! Sometimes I forget that you're just a Lil' Brat with the way you talk, you sure know a lot of big words for a snot-nosed kid. Suzuran is teaching you pretty well, ahahahahaha!"

Huffing, I tried to fix the straight black locks (which I inherited from Kaa-san) and then proceeded to put on the headband slash bandanna embroidered cloth that Kaa-san gave me. The cream colored headband was handmade, made by Kaa-san herself, the embroidery was amazing and the flowers (I don't know its name) and the little sparrow that was sewn in looks as if its alive. She gave it to me when I turned two years old, giggling and being adorable.

"Of course she is! Kaa-san's the best!" Though I already knew how to talk without her teachings more or less with grammar errors here and there but Kaa-san really is a great teacher all things considered.

I let out a small 'eep' when I felt myself getting lifted to the air and in no time I was placed on top of broad shoulders with two meaty hands holding my feet for security.

And because I was such a wuss, I glued myself to the large man's head with everything I have.

_I hope he doesn't notice the fact that I pulled out some chunks of his hair._

(Though he does earned it for surprising me.)

"Hey old man, I've already told you not to do that! I told you not to do that! I'm gonna die young if you keep giving me heart attacks!" I cried out as I grasped his curly dark brown hair with my tiny hands, tears welling up in my eyes.

(What's with my eyes anyway? They tear up really fast, is it the genetics? I think Kaa-san was the same.)

Daiki-ojiichan's shoulders started shaking and once again, I gave out a scared shriek when he started billowing with laughter, his head thrown back with the force of his laughter, his caramel colored eyes shut in bliss, and his back bent as he let out loud guffaws, scaring a large number of villagers in the vicinity.

(His sound was like a beating drum, heavy and loud but rhythmic and relaxing. It's a great sound.)

To them, Daiki was a bear of a man with a frown always seen on his face. A smile is only ever present if the burly man was doing his work or when he was mocking someone, but those chances to be seen was rare since Daiki-ojiichan likes working alone and he wasn't one for unjustified cruelty.

Unless the person in question deserves it and was absolutely stupid. Daiki-ojiichan doesn't tolerate incompetence at the slightest.

So to see him laughing with the village's 'most uncute kid ever' on his shoulders was probably a sight to behold. And up until now, I still don't how I managed to become close to this man.

"Ojii-chan!~ Please stop it or I'm gonna fall on my head and die! I'll die I tell you!!!" The man still kept laughing, ignoring poor me. "Uwaaaahhhhhh!!!!! You're being mean again!!!!" I take that back! _We are not close! Not close at all!_ He's secretly planning to kill me like everything in this world!

And if I die earlier than expected I'm so gonna haunt this man's ass and let's see who'll be helpless at that point.

_Just you wait old man, just you wait._

"Uwwaaaaaaahhhh!!! Please put me down noooowwww!!!!!"

"Ahahahahahahahahaha!"

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...

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_"Ahahahahahahaha! Why don't you live a little? It's not like the rides would kill you kiddo."__"_

_Uwaaaahhhhh, it certainly can! Hindi mo ba alam na maraming namamatay dahil sa pagsakay sa mga rides! What if that thing isn't secure?!"_

(Uwaaaaahhhhh, it certainly can! Don't you know that a lot of people had died by riding those! What if that thing isn't secure?!)

_"Hibiki, don't be like that to Ricky, why don't you guys have fun while I go get us some lunch."__"_

_That sounds wonderful Ma'am, I'll take care of her as always."__"_

_W-wait Mama! Don't leave or I'm going to die! Mama!"__"_

_Oh come on, don't be such a kill joy we're in an amusement park ."__"_

_B-but what if—"__"_

_Kaya nga exciting, the adrenaline rushes through your veins and make you feel even more alive."_

(That's why it's exciting, the adrenaline rushes through your veins and make you feel even more alive.)

_"I don't need to feel_ more _alive than I am now, and I'll be happier if I_ stay _alive!"_

_"Ahahahahaha come on Anak, pagbigyan mo naman si Tatay oh?"_

(Hahahaha come on my child, why don't you humor your Dad?"

_"..."__"_

_O-okay... but if I die I'm so gonna haunt your ass— Ow!"__"_

_Watch your tounge young lady!"_

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...

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For some reason, the people here keeps reminding me of the old days.

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_I miss them._

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"Kaa-san?"

"Yes my child?"

"Why am I," _How do I say this without making her cry. _"Ahh... Why do I look... ugly?" _Oh Gosh brain, way to go for coming up with that. _

There was a beat of silence, and the woman look surprised at first but then after some time her shoulders started shaking, her eyes shadowed by her hair.

"...Kaa-san?"

Out of nowhere, arms was suddenly grasping me towards a generous-sized chest, curtains of hair blocking my vision with my breath escaping me almost too quickly.

_This is what I get for being a very slow moron._

My face was probably turning red with the lost of air and my eyes watered in response to the lack of air.

"NowSenritsuwhoevertoldyousuchathing?You'renotugly,you'reabsolutelywonderfulsweetie.Wonderful,sweet,kind,adorable,cuteandsimplylovely—"

_A-air! I need... air or I'm going to die again_.

With all the precious oxygen that I still have I opened my mouth. "...A-a-air, need air..." I heard a loud gasp beside my ear and I was suddenly yanked away from her massive chest, a frantic hand smoothening my forehead gently, removing the stray hairs from my face.

"Oh God! I'm so sorry! Are you alright Songbird?! I'm so sorry!" Tears flowed out of her golden eyes like two rivers and I would've laughed if I wasn't too busy inhaling and filling my lungs with much needed air.

_I thought that I was really gonna die._

"Kaa-san is really sorry, she doesn't mean to strangle you! So please don't be mad! Kaa-san wasn't trying to kill you or anything!"

_I wouldn't be able to get angry at you even if I want to. Seriously though, I thought I was going to die via suff–hugging. That would've been pathetic as hell._

"...Aghh... It's alright Kaa-san. I know that you don't mean it and I'm sorry for upsetting you."

"Oh my baby, Kaa-san is really sorry but," An ominous aura started rising from the woman, her luscious dark hair started floating like one of those white ladies on horror movies and I can't help but freeze and let out an 'eek'. "Of course I would be upset! Who told you that you that you're ugly?!" She started leaning down on my face and quite frankly, I'm starting to get scared.

"Agatsuma Senritsu!" Gosh she's using my full name now. Warm hands took hold of my shoulders. "You. Are. Not. Ugly. Period." Now her hair started falling back down again, is my Mother secretly an esper or something? _That phenomenon wasn't normal right?_

(The rattling wind chimes has gone back to their gentle ring.)

Her golden eyes, the eyes that I love so much looked at me so tenderly and I'm so glad that I inherited that from her.

Her long dark hair caught the remaining rays of sunlight, making it glow ethereally and it swayed on the cool breeze that promised a chilly night.

Her smile was something else entirely, sad yet happy at the same time, there was pain hidden underneath its beauty and I stared in awe at the picture it all creates.

(Have you ever looked at a woman so beautiful that it just makes you wanna cry?)

"You are beautiful my Senritsu." Her voice was sweet, a bit of sadness blending in as she touched my split caterpillar for an eyebrow. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen, a life that I can't help but wonder how I even created, that me and your..." There was a small hitch in her voice, her eyes watering. "...Tou-san created."

From the moment I was born I've never seen my Father on this life and I never questioned Kaa-san. When the topic was brought on by someone, Kaa-san would always have this far-off look in her eyes and a painful dip on her smile. Yes it did made me curious, but I don't like seeing the face she makes when people talk about him.

But from what I knew, he wasn't a terrible person. He was kind, strong, caring and brave. Too brave that he died when he protected the people from a rampaging bear who wasn't able to hibernate. A bit stupid though, since she left my young Kaa-san all alone to raise me. I'm not angry at him, I don't really know who he was so I can't judge him for everything.

Her thumb rubbed my cheeks lovingly and I leaned into her touch. "So don't ever say that about yourself Senritsu, my beautiful Songbird."

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_You're wrong. You're the one who's beautiful, but I guess I could take that._

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_I'm really blessed for having two great Moms don't I?_

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**A/N: It's finally here! And I'm so glad to all your positive feedbacks and support. I enjoyed making this chapter and I really think Senritsu's Mom is cute in my opinion.****And here's some name explanations that no one really cares about.**

**Suzuran's name means "Lily of the valley" or "Spider Lily" and those white flowers means "Sweet" in Hanakotoba.**

**Daiki's name means "Great Tree".**

**Senritsu's old name "Hibiki" means "Sound" or "Echo".**

**Senritsu's name uses the Kanji that means "Melody" or "Tune" which I think suited her best and it sounded pretty close to Zenitsu. Back when she was getting bullied her name was spoken as an insult because the word "Senritsu" could also mean "Shudder" or "Shiver" and another meaning for it is "Horrible", "Hair-raising" or "a sorrow".**

**That's all for this chapter so see you guys next chapter and I also have wattpad account under silencexxx106 if guys wanted to know.**

**Xielle~**


	3. Out of Tune Melody

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 03: Out of tune Melody**

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"Kaa-san! Kaa-san! I'd like you to come over here! Come on, I'm gonna show you something!" I hollered from my place beside the stream of fresh water, mishapen rice balls, meat buns, dango, and manjū placed gingerly on a blanket beside me.

All prepared by yours truly.

"Oh I can't wait to see it then!" She said excitedly but once she saw the picnic setup her honey colored eyes started watering and I almost panicked that she didn't liked it.

The confirmation of her joy that I got was none other than Kaa-san's signature move 'Death Hug', a move that can render her opponent immobile and can send them to heaven by either happiness or suffering, she can only execute this move when she's thoroughly happy or emotional. The happier she is, the deadlier the attack, it's a super effective attack!

(So effective that I might actually die.)

I hurriedly tapped my hands to her shoulders repeatedly, to let her know that I'm only a few seconds to the netherworld if she doesn't let go. Once she noticed the situation another latent ability was activated.

'Puppy Waterfall Eyes' an ability that can render the victim unable to move and be hit right in the feels, also retaliation would be futile at this rate because you would feel too guilty to hit her. Guilt does do wonders on everybodies conscience, and every single person that Kaa-san uses this ability on would be left feeling dirty and incomplete.

_Can Kaa-san be any cuter? I could only take so much of it._

Coughing slightly and adjusting my throat, I tried reassuring her with a smile and a dismissal wave of my hand. "It's okay Kaa-san." _It's not so surprising that I'm getting used to this right? _It's only a matter of time that I would get use to it with how Kaa-san uses her attacks blindly at any given 'cute' moment I have.

(Is Kaa-san and Daiki-ojiichan blind or something? Because clearly I'm not cute at all, my eyebrows and unflattering hairstyle beg to differ.)

Kaa-san daintily dabbed her cheeks with a handkerchief, "Did you prepare this all for Kaa-san?" In reply, I bobbed my head enthusiastically and procured a beaming smile that left my eyes closed in tiny crescents. "Of course I did, because it's Kaa-san's birthday!"

For some reason it only made the young woman cry harder. "M-my little Songbird is so sweet! How c-could a woman like me be so blessed with such an adorable child?!"

I looked down at my hands and closed my eyes, tears gathering in them. _I should be the one asking that question my adorable Mother._ I wiped the tears with one swipe of my forearm, a blush spreading in my cheeks. _But even so, I thank Kami-sama for this wonderful woman. _

"Oh Kaa-san?" I said, sniffling slightly. I can't afford to be sneezing right now when I'm not than yet.

Breaking out of her mutterings, the dark haired woman gave me her utmost attention. "Yes, my sweet absolutely adorable cutesy awesome cool beautiful child." Then she smiled that smile that could turn any mortal man into putty, her golden eyes sparkling from the leftover tears.

My blush intensified up to my ears and I felt myself overheating just a tad too much. To be praised by such a sweet absolutely adorable cutesy awesome cool beautiful woman herself...

_I am lost for words._

But I still need to do something to make her special day all the more special other than the food I've cooked myself. Something just for her that no one can take.

I inhaled deeply through my nose, fighting down my blush and nervousness with the expertise of an awkward teenager during her debut recital.

"I made a song just for you Kaa-san." Well I didn't exactly made it, translated it if anything. But since no one has written it, I take full responsibility in being its lyricist and composer and living my life with the reminder of a grave sin I made. _If it's for Kaa-san I'll take being a full fledge plagiarizer anytime just to see her smile and make her feel special in anyway I can._

With a gasp and a blush, Kaa-san covered her mouth with a dainty hand, seemingly touched with the notion of her own song.

It's a good thing even though that I was reborn I could still cary a tune and do it well like I used to. Though this one is a bit different, high pitched and obviously young but that could still change in time. I'm hoping that I could still have my neutral but husky voice, it's versatile and could go from high to low range, even though my specialty was with instruments, specially the piano. God knows, I missed the slender ivory keys and letting my fingers fly across the keyboard producing elegant notes that was definite bliss for my ears. But anyways, _here it goes._

_"You gave me wings and made me fly_

_You touched my hand, I could touch the sky_

_I lost my faith, you gave it back to me~"_

After all she's the sole reason why I managed to move on.

_"You said no star was out of reach_

_You stood by me and I stood tall_

_I had your love, I had it all_

_I'm grateful for each day you gave me_

_Maybe I don't know that much_

_But I know this much is true_

_I was blessed because I was loved by you~"_

Seriously, I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful woman love me like this. I know that there's a lot of great mothers out there but not only having one but two of them to treasure me like this make me feel like I'm floating in clouds and warm all over.

_"You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you loved me~"_

The woman watched me as I took out crumpled wild flowers from my kimono sleeves, giving her a warm smile as I did so. Her beautiful amber eyes sparkled with unshed tears as I gave the flowers that I picked for her and she held onto it carefully, keeping it close to her chest.

_"You were always there for me_

_The tender wind that carried me_

_A light in the dark shining your love into my life_

_You've been my inspiration_

_Through the lies you were the truth_

_My world is a better place because of you~"_

I moved closer towards her , reaching out both of my hands and placing it on both of her tear stained cheeks, wiping away eye water along with it. My eyes are starting to water too, making my voice shaky.

_"You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you loved me~"_

Finishing the song, I gave her a beaming smile then proceeded to hugging her tightly that she didn't fail to return. "I love you Kaa-san." I muffled through her hair and the arms around my torso tightened comfortably, the warmth it produced is different from what I'm feeling right now.

With a wet kiss on my forehead, the young mother spoke the words that left her lips ever since I was able to hear, from gentle lullabies and warm covers.

"I love you too, my dear Songbird. "

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"Awwww... That was so sweet I thought I was gonna get a toothache from all the sweetness." The bear like man said teasingly, making me scowl in annoyance.

"And what's it to you Old Man? "

"Oi! I'll have you know that I'm in my 30's and that's pretty young if I say so myself."

I gave him a disbelieving look. "Are you sure about that? I could've sworn that your hairline is receding and the gray hairs starting to grow right here." I pointed at the top of my skull where it was hidden by my bandanna turned beanie.

Of course what I'm spouting right now is nonsense but you get the point.

His meaty hands suddenly reached up to his curly hair "Wait, are you serious?" The look of worry flitted across his caramel eyes, a frown starting to form on hs lips.

I watched him as he 'inspected' the pieces of hair he could actually see while gently massaging the part where the hairline has 'receded'.

_Oh my God, don't you fudgin' dare to laugh Senritsu... just think of the times where you were sad and depressed. _I bit the side of my mouth to keep myself from laughing, the subtle look of panic on his grizzly face was hella funny.

_Don't laugh or you'll die. It's rude to laugh on someone's face._

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_"Hey! Your just making fun of me aren't you?!"_

"Ahahahahaha... Your face pfft— Ahahahahaha! You look like your— ahahaha... Oh my God, your about to cr— ahahahahaha!"

"Stop laughing!"

**_BAM!_**

"Ouch! H-hey put me down!—"

"It's your favorite game Sen, Upsy Daisy!"

"Wait, _STOP! NO DON'T!"_

"Ahahahaha! Up you go."

_"Waitwaitwaitwait! I'm going to die! Putmedow—KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"_

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Like I said, if I laugh I die.

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There was the sound of little feet on dirt and children's laughter roaring in to my ears, instead of cheery they sounded more like a mocking gesture to me.

"Senritsu! Senritsu! Shivering Senritsu!"

_Goddamnit I'm better than this! Don't cry Senritsu, your eighteen for crying out loud! An adult and not a kid anymore, this kids don't know what they're talking about._

My eyes betrayed me when they started watering again. I'm such a wuss, even though I'm supposed to be an adult now, I'm still a big wuss.

My lower lip started wobbling in place and I bit down on them to keep myself from making a noise.

A finger jabbed right to my forehead "Look, look she's starting to cry again. Senritsu can't really do anything but cry, really useless." With that said, the older kid kicked my right knee making me fall, dirtying my pale yellow yukata.

_Keep it together girl, keep it together._ It's not like it hurts or anything.

A pig nosed kid, that I didn't bother to remember the name of, kicked me on the side making me gasp. _Endure Sen, endure it. _Soon they'll lose interest and go away themselves, just don't give away anything.

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't you guys think she looks horrible too?" The brat who I think was the leader of their little band of future hoodlums said, a sneer on his dirty double-chinned face. _If anything, your the one who looks horrible Chin-kun._

The others chorused their agreement for the matter, each one rowdy and ear grating. Goddamn, they all sound like squeaky hyperactive Chihuahuas on crack. Chinny-kun kicked me on my side again, but his kick was not as hard as Piggy-chan.

"Here that Senritsu, so don't you try befriending Mimi-chan because she might catch your ugliness." He said, spit flying to my face.

_So that's how it started huh_. I glared at him through my lashes. _I just talked to the little bitch of a girl and you all go hunting and kicking my ass?! That encounter was not even a full conversation! And as if she's not catching enough ugliness from you Takachin._

"As if she's not catching enough ugliness from you Takachin."

_Oh God! Did I say that out loud?! I swear to the Music Gods that I didn't say that so please don't hit me—_

"What did you say?!"

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

_Wait is Takachin hard of hearing or something?_

"So is Takachin hard of hearing or something?"

I swear to the Sound God that it's not me it's not even my voice so please don— wait, it's not my voice so someone else was...

I lifted my head just a little to get a glimpse of the brave backtalker who could read minds and I saw a boy in blue who's probably at same age range as Takachin and co. But unlike Takachin and friends who looks like they could be underage bandits, this boy looks like he's someone who could be from a well off family and that he seems familiar somehow.

Like I've seen his face before.

There was a small frown on his lips, that it made him any less threatening than a small kitten because of the baby fat still present on his cheeks. His complexion was pale, a great contrast with his black spiky locks that was held on a little pony tail. But the most outstanding of his features was his sharp blue eyes, eyes that looked like the depths of the ocean itself. And if I listen closely, I could hear the sound of rushing waves from him, a small ripple coming from still water.

The sound of his heart, his relative bone structure and eyes have my brain screaming at me that I've heard and seen it before. Like I've seen and heard it on someone else.

He is a bit angry but still relatively calm, I wish I could be as chill as this kid.

"What are you even doing here Giyuu?! You've got nothing to do with my business, bastard! And it's not Takachin, it's Takashi!"

_Ahh... the kid's name is Giyuu, but I think I've heard of that name before... hmmm..._

"So your business now is making fun of little girls now? Wow, I thought you couldn't be any more lower than you were already."

"What does that even mean Bastard?! Talking like you know everything, stay away from Mimi-chan for me, I don't want you beating the same air as hers."

"Its 'breathing' not 'beating', that's just stupid."

The Takachin's face started to go red from both embarrassment and anger. "Well your face is stupid." Nice retort, very original. "Stay away from Mimi-chan and we wouldn't have any problems." He smirked and deliberately pulled my hat.

"Hey!"

The Giyuu kid's eyes narrowed further a crease forming on his brow. "Give that back to her."

Mockingly, the little asshole started spinning my most prized possession in the air and with his ear grating voice he taunted, "And what are you gonna do about it?" As if on cue of clichéness, the three other kids started cracking their knuckles, menacing grins on their smug faces.

Giyuu took a stance, though I can hear a level of unsureness from him on taking everyone on. Not that I would let this little brats to beat up my savior.

The trash talking started once again and if I wasn't trying to be as unnoticeable as possible I would have clapped for Giyuu's Grade A trash talking skills, and that he even performed it all with a bored deadpanned face that didn't cease to rile up Takachin and friends.

When Takachin started moving for a punch, I quickly darted to snatch the beanie from his loose clutch, grabbed Giyuu's hand and started hauling our asses away from kiddy goons. Of course they started chasing us when their little brains started working. Surprisingly, Giyuu was being cooperative and didn't seemed to mind getting dragged by a little girl, though I suspect it was because he didn't expect that to happen.

Once we were in a fair distance with none of the fugly kids on sight, we drew to a stop near a dango shop, both of us gasping for breath, me more so than him. Because I was a certified coward, I was also a certified fast runner, an athlete in the past life and I couldn't help but curse my tiny body for being so weak.

_I am so going to achieve my runner skills from back then and incorporate it on this life, God knows I need it._

"Ahmm... are you alright?" The boy suddenly spoke, making me jump out of my skin with an 'eek!'.

"Ah! I'm s-sorry for surprising you, are you... okay?" He said awkwardly but apologetically.

After making sure that my heart was still in the right place, I nodded. "Y-yeah and it's not your fault that you startled me! I'm just easy to scare is all." I explained with a tired little smile.

He stared at me and blinked twice, a look of understanding in his bright blue eyes. "You really do speak well like the others said." I blushed at the not really complement. Then his eyes suddenly turned darker making me slightly nervous. "Don't mind what they said as you've seen they're just idiots who have nothing better to do."

He took a step closer towards me and I met his clear blue eyes, the sound of gentle waves caressing the shore echoed through my ears, there was concern present in their and I answered before he could ask his earlier question again.

"I-I'm alright. It doesn't hurt that much plus I'm used to— Ow!" I hissed in pain when he suddenly poked the place where Takachin and Piggy-chan kicked me earlier.

"You're clearly not okay." The boy said unimpressed with my crumpled form and this time, he was the one to grab my hand.

"Ah-ah... Nii-san, please let go."

"No, and my name is Giyuu." I already know that.

"I-I'm Senritsu. And where are you taking me Giyuu-san?"

"To my house, I'm going to ask Nee-san to tend to your injuries."

"But I..."

"You're coming with me, whether you like it or not. It's stupid to let you go to your house alone, what if the idiots see you again."

Well, he has a point. "Thank you..."

He never bothered to reply, continuing to look ahead and I thought that was the end of that.

"How old are you?" He said, when we're turning on a corner, still no bullies in sight.

I was slightly confused by the sudden question but I answered immediately. "I turned three two weeks ago." The gentle but firm grip on my smaller hands tightened slightly, the gentle waves becoming slightly turbulent. "Those bastards, going after a toddler." He growled out, making me confused why he was angry, though the concept of bullying little toddlers do earn some ire.

But why would he be concerned on a stranger?

Being defended by others and getting angry for my behalf was a slightly foreign concept to me.

The number of people who have done it could only be counted by my one hand and that includes Mama, Tatay Ricky, Granny, Kaa-san and Daiki-ojichan.

"We're here." He said curtly as we stopped in a fairly large traditional Japanese house amongst the other rows of the middle class houses.

The front garden was plentiful of flowers of different kinds and varying colors. Giyuu led me to the front, removing his sandals as he did so and I followed suit. He slid open the door and beckoned me to enter with him.

"Nee-san I'm home! And can you help me with this?" By 'this' he means me.

"Welcome home Yuu-chan! And I'm coming just a sec." A very familiar voice amswered from what I think is the kitchen based on the clunking sound of bowls and kitchenware.

I extended my senses and I just couldn't help but say 'oh' in my mind as I braced myself for the oncoming assault.

Patted tabi clad feet came closer to our place where I think is the receiving room. "Yuu-chan, what can I— Oh my God it's Osen-chan!"

With that said I was swept of my feet and was twirled around by a young woman wearing a red kimono.

_Ouch, that kinda hurts._

Tomioka Tsutako-nee was a cheerful teen with bright but sharp blue eyes. She was often called a 'beauty' in our village and I couldn't agree more with that. She works at the same place as Kaa-san in a little tailoring shop where I met her. Just like Daiki-ojiichan and Kaa-san, she thinks I'm adorable and such and basing what she always say tall tales about, she's also conpletely enamored by her little brother 'Yuu-chan' which I think is Giyuu.

Clear blue eyes peered down at me from between her arms, curiosity resounding with the languid waves of the sea. "Osen-chan, what exactly are you doing here?"

"Ahh..."

"She was being bullied by Takachin and his friends so I brought her here to treat her injuries."

There was stillness for a second but I could feel the pressure pressing down on me, behind me, I could hear Giyuu gulp in fear.

"What." Her dark wavy brown braided hair started swaying in some invisible wind. "Did I heard that right, Senritsu?"

_Oh crap! _

I've never seen Tsu-nee in a scary way before, new found fact.

_The kinder they are, the scarier they are when they're angered._

I rapidly bobbed my head in agreement. "Y-yes!" I squeaked out.

"I see." Then she gave a look to Giyuu that I couldn't decipher, letting me down carefully as she did so. When she looked back at me, a kind smile formed in her pink lips.

"Osen-chan, let's get you treated ne?" The sea was still at the surface but undercurrent remained turbulent, threatening to drown anyone who dared to soak in it. Tsu-nee is still angry.

"Un." I turned towards her younger brother who she often tell stories about, my precios beanie still clutched in mine. "Thank you Giyuu-san!" I told him with a sincere smile while I was dragged further inside their home.

Before he was completely out of my sight, I saw his lips lift up in a small smile and I couldn't help but agree to what her sister often tell about him.

_"Yuu-chan doesn't smile much, but when he does, it's precious and should be protected. He doesn't do it often so it's a treasured sight."_

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"Thank you again Tsu-nee and I'm sorry for being an inconvenience."

"Awww... aren't you the cutest thing, I wish I could have a cute little sister just like you." There was a tug in her kimono sleeve. "But of course I wouldn't trade you for the world Yuu-chan! So don't you pout and give me those puppy eyes."

"Your such an angel Tsu-chan, thank you for taking care of my little Songbird."

"You don't have to thank me any further than that Suzu-chan. Besides, Osen-chan is a great kid and she wasn't a bother at all. Still if you'd give me some of your infamous simmered salmon with daikon, I wouldn't complain."

Kaa-san chuckled, "I'll keep that in mind then." And with that, the siblings of sea and ocean started walking away and they both waved at us in goodbye, Hanae-nee was more energetic compared to Giyuu.

"Bye bye Nee-san! Giyuu-san!" I waved back, until both of them disappeared from the distance.

"Come on Sen, let's prepare dinner and tell me what exactly happened to you." Kaa-san said kindly, but there's a stern look in her eyes.

"M'kay Kaa-san."

Since that day, Giyuu would come by some other day to play with me and I felt I wasn't so lonely anymore.

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I gave the small needle a glare as it never did what I wanted.

"Kaa-san?"

"Yes?"

"Why can't I do it like you do?" I turned around to give her one of my pathetic look, unknowingly giving the puppy dog eyes that was lethal to any living human with a heart.

Kaa-san placed down her work and scooched over. "Hmm... let me see." I gave her what I was making so far and admittedly, it looked like a disfigured flower and lion at the same time.

"Wow Sen, this is not a bad dog impression, though you could work a little on the ears." She pointed right were the 'petals' of the flower were particularly jumbled with runny stitches.

"But Kaa-san~ That's supposed to be a flower! A flower!" My lips started wobbling as I looked down on my hands riddled with tiny little pricks.

A hand ruffled my hair and I glanced up through my lashes. "Oh Songbird, your still young. You'll be able to do it no time if you practice again and again. That's how Kaa-san did it so so can you.

"You really think so?"

"Of course," she smiled that smile again, beautiful as always. "my little Sen is a smart girl after all."

"I'll do my best!"

"And I'll be cheering you on."

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I blinked at the sight before me. "Eh? Giyuu-san?"

"Nee-san wants me to play with you." Was the spiky haired boy's reply.

"... Okay?"

Silence.

"So what are we playing?"

He only blinked at me and I could practically feel the awkwardness coming from him with the unsurity of a child that was forced to interact with someone he doesn't particularly like or dislike.

I mentally sighed, I guess I could be the 'adult' here to make it less awkward.

"Can you teach me how to climb trees?" I inquired, wait, maybe he doesn't know how to climb either. "I-if you want to but we could do other stuff if you don—"

"I can teach you." He cut me off before I could go on a tangent, the uneasiness gone now that he had something to base on to keep the socialising going.

Damn I feel your pain Giyuu-san.

"Thank you Giyuu-san."

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"You guys enjoying yourselves up there?" A gruff baritone greeted us from our perch on the tree. Surpisingly, I don't have any issues with the height and I was only a little nervous when I was climbing up. But I got over it because of the soothing sound the plant life often give off, not to mention my new playmate's calm disposition kept me at ease.

A calm and still ocean indeed.

I waved back to him, a grin on my face. "Look at me Daiki-ojichan! I made it all the way here without crying!"

"Well isn't that a good thing, now why don't you both come down and I'll escort you both home, it's getting late."

He wasn't wrong though, the sun was already starting to go down from the sky and I can see the moon breaking through the other side.

"Come on Osen-chan, let's go down." At some point in time the boy started calling me 'Osen-chan' just like his sister and he became just 'Yuu' at some point.

Once we were on safe solid ground the bear of a man gave a look towards Yuu. "Dai-ojichan this is Yuu, Yuu this is Dai-ojichan."

Yuu politely bowed his head. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Now that's done, let's go home."

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"Bye bye Yuu! Let's play again sometime!" I was rewarded with a small nod, a quirk on his lips and a small wave of his hand.

"Don't worry Osen-chan, I'll make sure he comes to play!"

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For some reason I feel antsy, like something bad is going to happen. My senses are going hyperdrive and it's slowly driving me nuts. I tried to keep my breathing still and my body steady as I walked the usual path home. I failed spectacularly.

I usually go home before the sun has gone down but today, Yuu and I played together (and it was so much fun) that we forgot the time, so I ended up going home late. It's a happy day because it was the day before Tsu-nee's marriage.

Why I insisted to go alone I have no idea, and how the hell I managed to convinced Yuu to do it is something I still can't believe I've done. Yuu is stubborn just like his sister, but he's always well meaning even though he doesn't have much of a way with words.

Man, he is so not a poet.

The reason why he doesn't have much friends from his age group was his inability to speak with the right words. If anything he's painfully honest which I find makes him even more purer.

Such a cute kid.

I glared at a shadow of a tree that seemed to move on its own and I forced myself to hurry, the only other sign of life in the forest were the little animals hiding in their little holes. I could even detect a hint of anxiety in them as the lull of the breeze found myself to a stop.

I saw the dim light inside the place where I now call home, but other than that I can't see any signs to cause this wariness. I couldn't hear anything other than my own rapidly beating heart.

_Wait._

(Where are the breezy tinkling wind chimes? That's unusual, Kaa-san should be home by now.)

Forgetting my fear, I ran towards the house. I hurriedly removed my sandals, stumbling on a weird squishy branch along the way. I didn't notice the speck of red staining it.

"Kaa-san!"

My little feet thumped loudly against the floorboards as I opened every single sliding door to look for the woman.

But every time I couldn't find her, the sinking feeling in my stomache doubles.

The kitchen, _she's not here either_, but there are freshly made meatbuns _that means she'was here._

My breath is coming off ragged, the pit in my stomache not going away. I'm standing on the last door that hasn't been opened but for some reason my arms felt like lead. I couldn't hear anything from the other side except for the odd sound of running liquid.

Slowly, I slid open the door to our room. "Kaa-san? Are you in..."

_No_.

Nononon_onononononono_**_NONONONONONONO_****_NONO!!!!!!!_**

(_Why is this happening to me?_)

I thought to myself as I blankly stared at the bloodied body of the woman I came to love in just short notice. Her long straight black hair were splayed across the floor in a mess with some stray chunks of it scattered on the wooden floorboards. Her usual pristine cream colored kimono was stained red and strewn open with bits and pieces of viscera decorating it in the most gruesome way. She was missing an arm, and I thought back at the strange soft branch that I tripped over on the entrance.

(This is a dream.)

I struggled to breathe through my nose with the heavy scent of iron in the air as I held back the bile that's making its way to my mouth. I placed my small hands to my mouth in a snap, my eyes were starting to get watery and blurry. I turned my head to the side of the room only to see one dull golden eyeball staring at me. Judging me.

(A nightmare.)

Minutely, I remembered how much I love those eyes, the eyes of a woman who loves her child with everything she has. The ones I see everytime I wake up in the morning to greet me with delight and so much adoration. I felt something inside me shatter.

(Now I'm never gonna see it again. She's gone. She's dead. It's my fault. I should have let her come with me, I should've insisted for her to come—)

The bile came rushing back up and I was kneeling, wrenching, heaving all the contents of my stomach, the tears that was threatening to fall earlier was now sliding down each cheek.

There's something pounding in my head like someone was bashing me to a grand piano multiple times, my ears were ringing with the sound of my pounding heart and everything was far too noisy to make sense of what's going on. Both of my hands were shaking, both covered in blood and vomit.

_Why?_

"K-Kaa-san... Kaa-san—" My voice came out meek and shaky as I struggled to stand. Once my jelly legs were more stable I started walking closer to the prone body and at some point I tripped and fell on the pool of blood that I then just decided to lay on.

I wanted to look away so bad but I can't get my eyes to leave the sight of the lively beautiful young woman that became a major part of this new world.

(She's dead. She was only twenty one.)

I reached out for the woman's pale delicate hand that was surprisingly closer than I thought. It was cold, the only thing warm was the sticky red liquid covering it. Her hands were always warm not cold, it's not right.

(It was cold because she's dead.)

_Why?_

The world seemed to be noisy and quiet at the same time, every sound jumbling up and then ending up as white noise in my head. I can hear everything and nothing.

(The wind chimes are not there anymore, the string that attached it to the window had snapped, it lay in pieces on the floor unable to make a single sound.)

Ah.

It's my fault.

_If I just... if I'd just let her come with me she wouldn't have been, she wouldn't have been—_

There was a creek at the entryway and the sound of wet breathing, I could hear liquid dropping heavily on the floor and a heavy body sliding on the door frame. "Se-Sen, r-run. Don't stay it might—" a coughing fit drew the speaker to a halt, something squishy fell to the floor with a wet thud.

I turned my head slowly to the source and my eyes welled up even more tears. Confusion, denial, anger, sadness and grief churned inside of me.

"...D-D-Daiki-ojichan?"

My breath hitched when I felt his heavy body falling onto me.

"..shush, q-quiet. It might... h-hea—" He coughed out more blood. "Hear... you." One massive bloodied hand covered my mouth with the intention of keeping me away from making a sound.

I was confused beyond belief.

_What's happening?! What's going on?! What is it? Who did this? **Who did this to them?!**_

Then I heard it.

A sound filled with discord, it's not human nor an animal. Every creature in the living world had there own sound, each unique and easily their own.

But this.

The sound it makes make my ears ring, causing each hair on my body to rise. It was confusing, the sound not quite human, incoherent, animalistic and too feral. It's completely out of tune, no melody, no harmony, no whatsoever. Just a mess of noise combined together to make this _thing_.

The crushing sound of a hundred feet thudded against the floorboards and I felt the hand on my mouth tighten. Slowly, the originator of the noise came closer to the room.

Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to run, to hide, but the heavy body of the older man held me down.

Through the curtain of my hair I saw it.

A _thing_ that could've starred any horror monster movie ever.

I forced myself to not make any indication of my presence but the tears in my eyes started falling once again.

I forced myself to not make any indication of my presence but the tears in my eyes started falling once again.

The creature had a relatively human face merged into the body of a centipede. Its face was that of a young man, and it was almost enclosed by the armored shell that lined its entire body. Sharp fangs and mandibles lined the part below the human face, raised in a horrifying quasi smile. Four gray-skinned human arms was growing out below of it, while the others remained like the legs of a normal centipede. A gigantic centipede.

I couldn't tell how long it was, but its body goes along the hallway where I could hear its unusual sound. It has a tough looking armored body, gleaming red from the still lit candle, casting shadows on the spikes protruding from its back. But that's not the most horrifying thing about this creature, its the eyes, a hundred of eyes lined its side, each one dull and unseeing.

The eyes of the dead.

"Hmm... what is this? That guy surely doesn't have any great manners, wasting good food like this." The creature said, raspy and annoyed as it stared at Kaa-san's body.

_good food?_

Slowly, its human arms elongated, lifting the body in the air and much to my wide eyed horror, it held Kaa-san near its fangs and mandibles and with no hesitation, bit off her head.

The blood sprayed all over us.

(I didn't know humans could bleed so much.)

I could feel the body holding me down shudder but the grip on Daiki's hand was relentless. I could hear the pain on his heart as we watched the most precious woman in this (my) life get eaten by the thing with nothing left behind.

Once finished, it looked around for a moment, its eyes ghosting pass us.

"Ah, there it is. Good thing he at least left one behind."

It took something from the ground, tiny and round from its large hands.

_That's... that's her—_

The hand suddenly plunged on its human face, there on its forehead now rest one familiar golden eye.

"Such a pretty eye should be the center piece on my magnificent being. Hmm... and that woman was not bad either, the body of a young healthy beautiful mother does taste the best!" Then it came closer to our spot and I could fell Daiki-ojiichan freeze in place.

"I have no use of dirty old men, they're way too crunchy for my taste." And with that it left with a crush, leaving a hole were the window used to be, taking the discordant sound with it.

The hand on my mouth fell slack and the body crushed onto me with nothing more to hold it up.

"Daiki-ojiichan?..." The beating drums, where are the beating drums?!

"...sorry." _Don't say sorry you old fart get off me so I can help you._

"G-g-get off Daiki-ojiichan. Daiki-ojiichan?"

(Where is it it? The sound of beating loud drums are not there anymore. It's broken beyond repair, it kept the sound until the batter and resonant head was busted through. Now it can't produce its rambunctious sound anymore.)

_It's gone._**_Everything's gone._**

There was someone screaming, full of pain, broken and shrill.

I didn't recognize that it was me, until my throat was sore and I can't produce a sound anymore. By that time, the sun was peaking from the sky, casting everything a glow as if everything was right in this world.

But it wasn't.

Because _he's gon_**e** **_she's gone._** **_Everything is GONE._**

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

The cheerful days are long gone but I wish it could've been longer.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

**A/N: So yeah. They died. And I didn't want that either it's very hard to kill off someone I really like in the story but it has to be done. Zenitsu was an orphan though I think this isn't how it really goes for him but this is my story so I get to do stuff. Thank you to all the favorites and follows I really do appreciate them and it keeps me motivated to write more. I'm actually pretty sad right now due to the recent update of the manga. Goddamn did it made me cry and that was so not cool because I was already expecting _that _to happen but clearly my heart was not prepared.**

**Manjū - Japanese red bean bun.**

**Yukata - a type of summer kimono, usually made from cotton.**

**Daikon - Winter radish**

**Batter head - the part of the drum you usually hit**

**Resonant head - the other side of the drum that resonates to produce sound**

**O in Osen - it's an honorific used to refer to women for example, Otae or Tae Shimura from Gintama**

**The song that Senritsu sang was Titled 'Because You Loved Me' by Celine Dion.**


	4. Chapter Special: In the Eyes of a Mother

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter Special: In the Eyes of a Mother**

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Suzuran was a young woman with great talent with the needle and was as gentle and sweet as her name suggests.

She was sought after by many but one man had only captured her heart.

The young woman know that it wasn't because of his looks or other superficial things like that. Though yes, she thought he was handsome but that's not what had captured her heart.

Suzuran married a man rightfully apt for his name, Akio. He was bright, brave, gentle and kind. Shy at times but that's a trait they both shared.

The village people thinks that she should have looked for more, someone rich, someone reliable and someone that would keep her comfortable, because she was beautiful, talented and kind. But she didn't listen.

Because if Suzuran listened to them then she wouldn't be this happy. So happy and content with her life.

Suzuran was an orphan, she lived a hard life before so she can endure hardships like any other. She was happy and that would be enough. They could be enough.

Months pass and there was some great news that came off of their love for one another. A child! She is going to be a mother!

She doesn't care what the others think that it would only cause them more financial problems in the future. She doesn't care whatever the hell they say, because she is happy from the life growing inside of her. They were both happy for things to come.

Autumn was starting to set it sails, turning leaves to pretty orange and yellow, falling on the ground, little animals scrambled about preparing for the winter that is sure to come.

Suzuran was heavily pregnant, expecting a child and is happy with her life.

That was until tragedy struck its claws into her life.

News of a bear causing harm to whatever creature got on its way was rampant and it wasn't safe to go out alone at night in the chances of getting struck by its deadly fangs and claws.

Akio was brave, was kind and was slightly stupid. The man she loves made a foolish decision of taking on the bear while he and the other men were hunting for meat. He was good with his gun and was quick-witted, but because of his soft heart, he chose to get in the way of the bear's claws on someone's back and was struck instead.

He was still alive then, but a few weeks later he died of infection and lack of proper medicine because they can't afford it.

Suzuran was left a widower with a child that was yet to be born.

Suzuran cried, she cried and cried until she slowly became numb with the sadness, slightly healed but a scar would remain. She has to be strong. She can't afford to be weak at a time like this.

She was still expecting a child and she should greet him or her with a smile as the first thing they see in this cruel, cruel world.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Suzuran was eighteen when she first laid her eyes on her. She was beautiful and everything that she could ever wish for. The child has her eyes but her mouth had the same curve as Akio's smile.

The melody of her life seemed to come back because of this little bundle that's why she named her, "Senritsu, your my little Senritsu."

Day by day her motivation rises up whenever she sees her little Senritsu, her little Songbird that brought back the tune in her life.

For a month and a half her Senritsu cried and cried. The child wailed as if in pain of something. As if she had lost something. Perhaps, the babe felt the lost of her Father who loved her very much.

It was tiring and hard but Suzuran must endure. Because she's her child, their child that she brought into this cruel, cruel world. So she was patient and gentle with her lullabies that never failed to make her Senritsu be at peace.

Months pass and the child would no longer cry as much, but she smiles as much. It never failed to bring a smile on Suzuran's lips whenever she sees the little quirk on her child's lips that is a reminiscent of her late husband's own smile.

Childish giggles and babbles filled the empty house with such warmth and joy that was never present since the day Akio died, and Suzuran can't be any happier than that.

She was content with her child and her living on this home that she and her husband started. It was enough.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Senritsu had just said her first words and Suzuran can't be any happier, oh how smart and adorable her child is!

_"...L've 'ou, Kaa-'an."_

(Suzuran really loves her child dearly. Nobody can question that fact.)

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Her Senritsu had grown up now, able to stand on her wobbly two feet. Suzuran could tell that her child was special, because she was smart for her age, able to talk in full sentences but with a cute lisps.

Her child was skittish, easily scared of things she can't understand or loud sounds that was too sudden that she just jumps and cries out for her everytime. It was endearingly cute, that she can't help but squish her, and sometimes accidentally endanger her with her tight hugs.

She doesn't mean too but her child is just too cute.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Senritsu was with Daiki again. The man whom her husband had saved. She never really blamed him for his death but she knows that Daiki thinks otherwise.

Without much thought, her daughter had charmed the bear of a man by curious glances and sweet tiny smiles. She was glad that even without a father, her child would have someone to rely to.

Senritsu had asked about her father once but she never questioned it again. Thinking that the other children just have one and others don't. It made Suzuran sad that her child didn't even get to meet her father. That she has a father.

(What Suzuran didn't know is that Senritsu understands this perfectly, she just never bothered to voice it out.)

Suzuran gave her daughter a gift.

A headband to make her daughter even cuter. It never failed to bring a smile on her face whenever she sees it on her hair, standing proud against her dark locks that she inherited from both of them.

Senritsu cherishes it like it was the most sacred treasure and it warms the young woman's heart.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

She was getting bullied.

Her daughter was getting bullied.

She wasn't saying anything but Suzuran knew.

Suzuran might be sweet and soft but she can be hard and lethal to those she loved. She glared fiercely at the woman who was badmouthing her Songbird, making the woman flinch in fear.

"Now, now Songbird. Kaa-san will always protect you."

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Songbird has made a new friend in Tsu-chan's little brother. He was a polite child who smiles sparingly, a unique way with words and defends her little girl from her horrible bullies.

Little Giyuu was good for her, now her baby smiles more and has someone to turn to.

He was good for her.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Suzuran later learns that her child had a talent. A special talent. Her Senritsu have sharp ears the main reason why she was easily startled. The reason why she loves her lullaby so much.

It's another thing to make her child even more special.

But neither way, her daughter was already special from the start. Sweet, gentle, smart, talented and absolutely adorable.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Suzuran can't be with her child anymore, but that doesn't stop her from watching over her precious child.

Looking at her Senritsu now, stance straight, uniform cladding her body and a over robe that had stories to tell. The hat, or the headband that Suzuran made still stood proud at the crown of her baby's now blonde locks at her side was sword made for something special.

Two (or was it three with the demon girl in the box) boys stood by her side, smiles on their faces as they laughed at one thing or another. The amber eyes that resembled her own glimmered with warmth and joy that was reflected by the boys at her side.

A smile stretched over woman's lips.

Suzuran might not be with her child but she still watches over her. Seeing the contentment that was in her child was enough.

It would be enough.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

_Let me sing a lullaby_

_As you close your eyes_

_And as you're drifting off to sleep_

_How I hope that the dreams that you find_

_Are bright_

_Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?_

_Where a tomorrow waits for you and I_

_So hold me tight one more time, but don't kiss me goodbye_

_'Cause I know that I'll see you on the other side_

_I will think of our song when the nights are too long_

_I'll dream of you for that's where I belong_

_Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies_

_Only, in my dreams, do we meet again_

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

**A/n: Here's an extra chapter to the point of view of Suzuran, man I cried a little bit.**


	5. The Song of the Despaired

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 04: The Song of the Despaired**

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

_It's done._

I stared at the hole I've dug before me, not quite deep as I wanted it to go but it will do.

It'll do for now at least.

My dull swollen eyes spared a glance at the not-so-bloodied corpse beside me, and my eyes started to burn something fierce, but I refused to let a single tear fall.

Daiki looks peaceful, I've cleaned his face as much as I can with my shaking hands then proceeded to drag him all the way here outside, not to faraway from the porch— there's so much strength a little three year old kid could have. It was beside the bed of blooming white spider lilies and lily of the valleys that Kaa-san (Mama too loves those little white bell-like flowers, I just remembered the flower's name) loves so much.

It took me hours to drag/push/pull him all the way here and another few hours to dig a decent sized hole.

_I need to bury them._

I glanced at the ashen colored arm that was beside the burly man. It was what was left of Kaa-san when she was eaten whole by that thing. The only reason for it not being in the gullet of that monster was because it was left beside the doorstep, detached from the body. Probably from the first monster who attacked her.

I closed my eyes to inhale deeply, iron and something rotting was in the air. I could hear the mocking peacefullness of the forest around me, like nothing horrendous just happened last night.

(Like it was just a bad dream.)

_"I love you my Songbird."_

_"What are ya lookin' at brat?! Afraid of a little height?"_

I opened my eyes and calmly went to the other side of Daiki. With much effort, I pushed him towards the dug out hole, he rolled for a moment until he settled at the middle to where it was deeper. Carefully, I bent down to pick up the cold limb that was beside my feet, staring at it for a moment with morbid detachment.

_This hand used to be warm._

_"I love you Senritsu, always remember that."_

Staggering and almost loosing my balance, I stood up and faced the hole, eyeing it.

I let the cold limb fall from my hands, joining Daiki in the makeshift grave.

_I'm sorry, this will have to do for now._

I knelt down on the dirt, my clothes were already dirty so I didn't bother to be careful. The dirt was cool, slighly damp from the leftover morning dew, it wasn't hot even if it was noon. The cloud cover, the whispers of the wind and the sound of hurried little animals signifies that it's going to rain later. I could feel the exhaustion, the lack of sleep driving me down but I can't rest just yet. I need to finish it up. I need to bury them, it was what they deserve.

_I'm sorry._

Slowly, weakly, I carded my hands on the loose soil, pushing and directing them to go into the grave. Everything's getting blurry, tears pricking the corner of my eyes.

_"Let me sing a lullaby_

_As you close your eyes~"_

My voice was hoarse, raspy and squeaky. It was painful to sing with my still sore throat, but that didn't matter. Kaa-san and Daiki-ojichan deserves a nice farewell song. It was Kaa-san's lullaby that came into my head the first thing so I ended up with that.

_"And as you're drifting off to sleep_

_How I hope that the dreams that you find_

_Are bright"_

I'm supposed to be lucky that I was left unscathed by the whole ordeal, I should be thankful to God for letting me live.

For extending the chance that he gave me.

But why do I feel like this?

_"Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?_

_Where a tomorrow waits for you and I"_

Why do I feel like I want to not feel grateful to him?

Why do I feel like cursing him, blaming him for everything, for letting me care for them and just taking them away just as fast?

(Why? Why? Why? _Why? Why?! _**_WHY?!_**)

I don't want to be alone.

_"Don't worry Sen, Kaa-san will always be with you and will always protect you."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes really."_

I don't like being left behind.

_"Come on brat, don't go lagging from behind. You don't want me to just leave you right?"_

_"W-wait slow down, old man!"_

I'm a coward so what am I going to do?

_"Woo there, stop being overly dramatic brat."_

_"I'm not a brat, but what if I get killed?!"_

_"Silly kid, you're not going to get you killed if I'll be there to protect you."_

_Sniff. "I love you Daiki-ojichan!"_

_A chuckle. "Well of course, the women all love me."_

I'm useless. Really useless.

_"Kaa-san? Why am I such an ugly useless girl?"_

_A tight embrace."No! No you're not who said that to you?!"_

_"The other kids did."_

_"Don't listen to them Songbird, they're just jealous because your so cute and smart and kind."_

_"But-"_

_"No buts and listen to Kaa-san because she knows what she's talking about."_

_._..

_._..

_._..

_"Okay."_

I don't like this.

_"Don't listen to those punks brat. You're annoyingly cute maybe that's why they're teasin' ya."_

_"Question, how can someone be annoyingly cute?"_

_"Stop that, I don't tolerate smartassery pretty well."_

_._..

_._..

_._..

_._..

_._..

_"Don't say that word and don't you ever tell your mother that I said that."_

I hate this.

_"Kaa-san what's 'smartassery'?"_

_._..

_._..

_._..

_"Who told you that word?"_

_"Daiki-ojichan did."_

_._..

_._..

_._..

_"I see."_

_"Songbird don't you ever say that word okay?"_

_"Okay."_

I really, really hate this.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

_"So hold me tight one more time, but don't kiss me goodbye_

_'Cause I know that I'll see you on the other side~"_

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

Seeing his younger friend in such a state was the last thing he wanted. Covered in grime and dried blood from head to toe, Senritsu did not make a pretty picture. There were tear tracks running along her cheeks, swollen puffy red eyes that were a great match to his own.

She was staggering, tithering to the side if not for the support of the doorway she was leaning to. Giyuu could spot red specks in the doorframe but he didn't let his mind dwell on it lest he wanted to vomit with an empty stomache.

"...Yuu." Her voice was quiet and raw, like she screamed her throat out until it bled. She blinked, her round eyes dull as if she wasn't completely sure what she's seeing is real.

It wasn't supposed to look like that. Giyuu is used to seeing it sparkle with warmth and life and kindness. Even when she was scared, those golden eyes always seemed to sparkle and shine. But now they don't, and he bets that his eyes looked the same.

Giyuu already knows the reason why her eyes were like that, the blood, the dirt and the obvious sloppily made grave with a wreath of white flowers tells him enough.

He's not stupid after all.

One tiny hand reached towards him shakily and Giyuu reached for it without hesitation. It was warm and dirty.

"Yuu..." She said once again, understanding dawning in her face as she finished examining if he was real.

Small arms, delicate arms encircled his waist in a hug. Her tiny dirty fingers dug onto the fabric of his damp blue kosode (a little shower rain) that was brown on some parts. She was warm and tiny and delicate.

Just like how she had always been.

(The sparkle may be gone but at least she was still warm. Warm, not like his sister who was cold.)

Slowly, Giyuu brought his arms to her shoulders, letting go of the little bag containing clothes and some rice balls, he stooped low to rest his head to the crook of her neck, where he could feel her steady pulse against the thin layer of skin. It was an awkward position given their height difference but Giyuu could make do.

Senritsu's dark hair was messy with dirt and some other stuff tangled with the uneven tresses. Her hat wasn't on, it's something that she never takes off unless it's going to get dirty. He could smell the thick scent of iron clinging to her and beneath that is the underlying scent of peaches and red bean paste that the child always seemed to carry. Giyuu gripped her tighter and he knows that it might've been painful, but the girl never complained, unlike before that even a slight jostle here and there would make her cry out in pain.

"Yuu." She said, voice muffled and whispered. If he wasn't clinging to her like a lifeline he wouldn't have heard it.

Suddenly, it all came crushing down on him how small Senritsu is, how young Senritsu is. He bit his already well-bitten lip to keep himself from screaming and shouting and cursing whatever God or deity that was ruling out there for putting them in this situation. For putting _children_ like them in this situation.

(The world is really a cruel ugly place.)

"...Osen-chan." He found himself saying.

_It's so unfair._

"O-Osen-chan..." He stuttered out again, eyes closed tightly, tears pricking at there corners.

He inhaled a whole lot of air and he just noticed that he was trembling now, that they were both kneeling and the one holding his weight was Senritsu. _"Osen-chan."_ Tears flowed out of dark ocean blue eyes, as he felt tiny warm hands smoothing down his wild hair. An action reminiscent of much larger ones.

It was quiet, just the two of them in the cabin with the sun setting, casting everything a glow in a mix of orange hues. Looks like the rain had cleared up.

Senritsu started humming, the tune familiar to his ears, something she used to sing under her breath everytime that she's a little nervous.

Giyuu didn't know when they both decided to go inside the house, barricading every entrance and exit or how they both ended up asleep inside a cramp cabinet where the futons were kept. Clutching each other, dirty clothes and all.

In the back of Giyuu's mind, he could hear his sister berating him for not cleaning up before going to bed, then her squeals of elation at how he was being 'adorable' with Senritsu.

Nightmares of what happened plagued them through the night, but the reassuring heat and presence of each other kept it bearable.

Come morning, they both reluctantly came out of their nest, clean the house as much as they can and then cleaning themselves quickly on the near fresh stream of water. They bathe together, unable to keep each other away from their sight, and since they were just children, it was okay.

Giyuu decided to forego his blue kosode and instead wore the red yukata of his sister. With Senritsu's passable needle skills, they managed to adjust it to his size.

And much to Giyuu's begrudging agreement, Senritsu's pale cream girl's yukata was changed to a dull green _boy's_ yukata and a brown hakama ensemble. It was a disguise that'll have to do while they travel.

(They just don't want to stay in a place filled with memories of a life that they could never get back to.)

The era that they live in is dangerous for children. Children were often discarded when the parents can't support them, living them fending for themselves on the streets through thievery and pity, some were even sold as slaves, in red light districts for a life as nothing more but a pretty caged bird. But the worst fate for children like them is death.

And in this mysoginistic world it would be much more dangerous for a little girl to be wandering around. So Senritsu decided that she will disguise herself as a boy, for less convenience and less danger.

Giyuu doesn't want her to do it but he knows that it cannot be helped with how the world runs its course. Besides, if he wasn't able to protect his own sister who says that he'll be able to protect his friend with the way he is right now. With the disguise, Senritsu would have at least a layer of protection to some factors and Giyuu is determined to cover the other bases to keep his only friend by his side safe.

He won't let anything happen to the only person he has left.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

"Yuu I'm tired."

Blue eyes glanced at me for a moment before they searched towards the surrounding area for us to rest for the night. The sun was setting on the horizon, the yellow orange ball of gas barely seen through the thick foliage and towering trees.

It was dark.

The forest creatures were already settling themselves for the night, I could hear the nocturnal animals rousing from their sleep, getting ready to hunt for their unlucky prey.

We've been walking for hours with no particular destination. Just going in a random direction until we see a new village, stay there if we find it suitable enough or we could travel again until we find a new place to call home.

I know children traveling alone unsupervised by adults is highly dangerous at this kind of era where wild animals and monsters like it could attack us anytime, or just plain bandits being bandits capturing us to be sold at the nearest black market were great posibilities. But as said before, we were just children, (and I'm counting myself as one because I am biologically still a toddler) stupid distraught _angry_ children who wants nothing but to get away from things that will hurt them, what had hurt them.

The decision to leave was a spur of the moment thing when Yuu asked me if I wanted to leave and well, I said yes.

So if this decision we've made comes back biting us in the ass then it's an easy move to just blame myself. I'm the older one in this duo, reincarnation bull be damned, so it's just right to take responsibility from this whole thing.

"Here, let's rest here." The boy gestured to a hallow tree that has enough room to fit both us, it was a grand ancient thing with large thick roots digging to the earth, towering dark trunk and winding branches that reached far and wide. The sound it produces was pleasant, calming and something you could say old as time. It promises a level of protection from possible nightmares.

"This looks nice." I said, giving him a small upturned of lips. It was the best thing I can do for a smile at this moment.

Yuu's only reply was a nod and proceeded to help me settle in for the night.

The hallow inside was filled with dry leaves and some branches but all in all it will fit us both comfortably. Good thing it was still autumn. Not too hot nor too cold, but the awful thing is, the little demon crawlers are quite abundant this year because of the nice weather. Pesky things procreate too much when that happens, but hopefully by winter they all die and return from hell where they came from.

After spreading a thick blanket from the bed of leaves for protection in getting bugs to our ears (just thinking about it makes my skin crawl, and the sickly reminder of the monster crawled in my head at this), we both tucked ourselves in the other thick blanket that we packed. We've already eaten before on the way to this little shelter and hopefully we would be seeing another village soon. The food we packed could last so much for a few days, a week at most if we rationed it well. Clean water was no issue since we were following the river stream (that was from near our house) to get us to a new village.

Embarassingly, it was Yuu who suggested it and it did made perfect sense.

Yuu's probably smarter than I am when I was his age. I won't probably be able to keep that calm mask after what happened, knowing myself, I would probably just cry my eyes out, maybe die out of sheer grief from losing someone while I was so young. And this is me, reborn and technically eighteen, still felt the need to just break down, to just wail and curse everything in existence. _Because goddamnit, it hurts so fucking much._

Hasn't the Random Omnipotent Asshole (ROA) had enough of the cosmic gag he had put me through?

Loosing my family once was earth shattering and it completely broke me to think that I'll never be able to see, touch and hear those people again. Hear their loving words and feel their caring touches.

But _no._

ROA hasn't had enough of one cosmic gag, he puts me somewhere in Kermit's green ass baby nippon, where _fucking centipede monsters exists and that they feed on fucking humans._

_What is this?_

_The apocalyptic Pokemon world?!_

Where you can be the very best through killing those, those fugly _things_?!

What is this? A _shounen_ anime where the main character has to have tragic backstory?!

Well, if anything I don't want to be an MC in any which way possible if that's the case. I'm content to just being Villager C, a background character who can be drawn as lackluster as the animator wants and still the viewer wouldn't care. I want to be that Villager C that has that easy life paved for them, content and happy and nothing to worry about.

Nothing to be scared about.

I scooted closer to Yuu and brought one arm to his waist. He did the same for me and placed his head on top of mine. This near I could hear his beating heart up close. His sound. The ocean that was still going through a violent storm, churning waves that threatens to drown everything. He was't as calm as his mask suggests, I knew that right from the start. Right when he was standing there on that doorstep wet with dried blood splatters on his robes and that haunted look in those beautiful blue eyes.

Yuu was still a child and it breaks my heart to think that he had lost someone precious in such a young age.

I hummed, it was still painful for me to do so but I carried on. The gentle lulling tone filled the expanse of the little shelter and I could feel Yuu's shoulder relaxing as he gripped my small body closer to him. Sharing our warmth felt reassuring, in a sense that the other has still heat to give, a proof that they're alive and well.

A tear fell down on one cheek and a small hand was quick to wipe it away. "I'm here." The boy murmured quietly. He gently squeezed my body and then relaxed. "We're both here."

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_"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"_ An ear shuttering raw bloodcurdling scream broke Giyuu from his nightmare and into the next.

His mind instantly went alert and he quickly got up from the warm nest of sheets. Panicked blue eyes searched for the small body occupying the other side and his heart dropped when he found nothing.

Quickly, he got out, almost bashing his head on a thick root when he tripped at his haste. Once out, Giyuu searched for the source of the scream.

"_AHHHHHH!!!_ _STAY BACK, STAY BACK, STAY BACK_, _STAY BACKKKK!!!!!_"

After a few seconds of locating the scream, Giyuu saw a hunched small figure and he palmed for the sharp knife he had grabbed before going out. Tiny hands covering her ears and eyes shut tightly with tears leaking through. Her breathe was labored, it's as if she wasn't breathing at all. Blue eyes surveyed the area for what might've caused the fear and quickly went to his friend.

"Osen-chan! Osen-chan! What's the matter?!" He took her small shoulders, shaking it slightly. In his discovery, she wasn't breathing at all.

A panic attack, Giyuu calmed his heart as he shakes her shoulders again. "Osen-chan! Osen-chan, I need you to breathe. Can you hear me?"

No reaction.

The girl was turning pale and Giyuu did the next best thing to get her attention.

He slapped her in the cheek. _Hard_.

"Senritsu!" Much to his relief, the girl started coughing and inhaling air.

"Keep breathing," a small hand searched for his and Giyuu complied, squeezing it thrice. "Just breathe and explain to me later."

Senritsu's labored breathing filled the quiet forest, unintelligible murmurs coming out from her mouth as she kept squeezing the hand given to her like a lifeline.

Quietly, her eyes still closed shut. "I-is... i-is it gone?" She said in a pleading fearful tone, making Giyuu survey the area again with sharp narrowed eyes.

He let the girl closer to him in a reassuring hug. "What is it?"

Silence again and a deep inhale.

"T-the c-c-centipede..." she dug her head closer to his neck and Giyuu looked around for the insect that caused her fear.

"No, it isn't here anymore." Giyuu glanced at the wild berries and handkerchief on the ground. He concluded that Senritsu was picking it for them.

"It's gone?"

Giyuu nodded and the girl relaxed in his arms.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up so a-abruptly." She said, still rather breathless, her right ear located to his chest.

Giyuu carded his fingers through silky uneven hair. "It's alright." His eyes softened when golden eyes looked up to peer up at him. There were still some lingering tears in there, but the gratefulness and warmth could still be seen.

Large golden eyes looked down and then backed up again. "I-it's just that... the _thing_," another deep inhale. "that _thing_ looked like a centipede too so I..."

Nothing more can be said and Giyuu just lets his head fall to the crook of her neck and hummed a familiar tune.

Giyuu is not good with words nor was he used to socializing. Out of the two of them Senritsu always did the talking and interacting which was kinda sad since he was older by five years.

But what he does know is Senritsu. Coward, kind, friendly, loud, smart, gentle, talented, low self-esteemed and cute Senritsu.

Senritsu who would cry out whenever the chance is possible. She get's scared easily and always finds someone to hide from something that scared her. She's kind, just like how her mother was gentle. She forgives people who had wronged her when they say they were sorry. Those bullies that has nothing good to do was always forgiven because "They're just kids, they make mistake so just let them." yet she overlooks the fact that she's also a kid as well. She befriended him, even if he doesn't know exactly what to do with that. She's smart, because look at her, she's just three yet she speaks bigger words than some of the adults he knows. She's talented, probably the reason why Suzuran had called her 'Songbird'. She's cute even if she doesn't believe it herself and that makes it all the more purer.

Giyuu knows that he had only been friends with her for a month or so but that's enough because she's a bit easy to understand and the fact that she can't hide her emotions well is one of a giveaway.

But what Giyuu doesn't understand is why her eyes would sometimes have this faraway look in them. They felt so distant, old and wary. Something that you'd see on a grown man, not something you'd see on a three year old little girl. Her golden eyes would gloss over ever so often, looking at something Giyuu could not see. Sometimes this sad, depreciating smile would just stretched from her lips and he doesn't like seeing much of that.

By the end of all of that, Senritsu was still his friend. He might not know all about her just as how she doesn't know a lot about him, just the thought of having someone to save them from drowning is enough.

Just the two of them is enough.

Amber eyes shone when the morning light struck, making it seem like it was molten gold instead. "Thanks Yuu. Thank you so much."

_Thank you for being here._

For the first time since the tragedy happened, ocean eyes sparkled and pale lips quirked upwards.

"Your welcome."

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**A/n: Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed this new update and I'm so happy a lot of you is enjoying it. I'm sorry if my grammar or sspelling is up to par because English is not really my first language.**

**I hope you find Giyuu's point of view good enough and I'd like to add that this is my first fic to be in First person point of view so I'm sorry if there are some errors. If you see some then kindly point it out to me and I'll edit it when I have the time.**

**Some facts here:**

**Kosode - literally means 'short sleeved' , think of a basic Japanese robe but had shorter sleeves. It can be worn by men and women.**

**'White' spider lilies or lily of the valley represents** **sweetness. But lily of the valley (Suzuran) in christian religion it means humility or the second coming of christ. It's even called Mary's tears or Our Lady's tears derived from christian legends where it sprang from the Virgin Mary during Christ's crucifixion. The power of people to envision a better world was also attributed to the lily of the valley.**

**The red variation of the spider lilies are often used in funerals. It means 'lost memory', 'never to meet again' and 'abandonment'. Most of these flowers grow near the Japanese cementery and is said to be growing in the Sanzu River (Japanese version of the river of Styx) that's why it's also called the flowers of hell.**

**Suzuran's lullaby was from 'The Promised Neverland' titled 'Isabella's Lullabye' the lyrics was written by Amanda Lee (Leeandlie)**

**Oh yeah I added something on the previous chapter and edited it, seeing all the missing words made me cringe.**

**Leave a review~**


	6. Meeting the Fox and the Tengu

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 05: ****Meeting The Fox and The Tengu**

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The process of grieving was a painstaking task to go over by just two children —one being an inept teen which was obviously me—that is much that I can tell you. Yuu acts as the pillar between the two of us, taking it as his personal responsibility to take care of our well-being for he is the eldest. Not that I'd do a great job of taking responsibility since I often avoid responsibility like it was the grossest thing on Earth.

I hadn't touched 'responsibility' with a hundred meter pole in my past, "always be the follower never become the leader" that had always been my go to motto, it makes living a whole lot easier and less likely for complications. My death and my decision to learn the piano were the most prominent of the times when I took responsibility over something. Most of the others were also pertaining to me or only for the few exceptions that I could afford, being a daughter and a granddaughter was one of them.

I'm an irresponsible coward okay?

You can judge me with your eyes as much as you want and I won t give two shits about it as long as it doesn't kill me. Or if there really is a way to properly kill me.

(Is it just me or am I cussing more and more? I blame Daiki-ojiichan for this, it s all his influence I swear! Or maybe it's my brain's way of coping with the loss of the man in my life. If that's it, then I wouldn't mind being a sweary teenager. But not now, since I'm biologically still a toddler, Yuu would probably have a heart attack.)

Going through the five stages of grief again was a bitch and a half. Yuu just going straight up to anger then to acceptance like nobody's business was scary, if his face was untwitching before then I can say that it's all but a perfect imitation of a glacier.

_(Is that my fault? Did I do that to him?)_

Jesus, a kid shouldn't be so emotionless. I would take a tantrum and a rage fest any day rather than _this_. I would rather take a socially awkward Yuu rather than an emotionless Yuu for the rest of my life. He's important to me like Kaa-san was, say it what you will but he's like a brother to me and I would go through the lengths just to keep him safe my fear be damned.

He's the only one I have now an selfish girl. If I have to cling to him like Pooh does to his honey jar then I would, not even the threat of Pennywise making me float if I don't let go would dissuade me and I have a giant fear against those jokesters with painted faces.

"_Short steps, deep breaths._"

I looked down at Yuu from my lap, where I managed to threaten him to lay down or I'll screech 'till I spit out my larynx if I have to, he caught on that I'm not kidding when I started to scream loudly enough to wake the dead.

I think that he's also just humoring me, probably noting that I'd been a bit antsy for the past days. He'd always been perceptive like that when it comes to my own fluctuating emotion, even more so than I do.

"_Everything is alright,_

_Chin up, I can't _

_Step into the spotlight._"

I started petting Yuu's surprisingly silky hair, carding my fingers through his unbound tresses reminding me of times when I used to play with Kaa-san s hair. I think he s going to grow it out as another physical reminder of Tsu-nee aside from his red yukata.

_Maybe I should do the same as a reminder of Kaa-san. _

Yuu, Daiki-ojiichan and Tsu-nee had told me that I look a lot like Kaa-san if I have much longer hair, but obviously, they re wrong on that account since Kaa-san doesn t have split caterpillar eyebrows and an uncute face like mine.

"_He said, "I'm sad." _

_Somehow without any words _

_I just, stood there _

_Searching for an answer~ _"

I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the cool night air around us, hearing the whispers of the wind for another long night in the woods with different wildlife around us. In the sky, the full moon lit up the dark canvas of blackness like a beacon of light together with the tons and tons of flaming balls of gas.

_The moon's really beautiful, isn't it?_

"_When the world is no more, _

_The moon is all we ll see~_

_I ll ask you to fly away with me _

_Until the stars all fall down, _

_They empty from the sky_

_But I don't mind _..."

I smiled at Yuu's bewildered expression, his blue eyes holding an unreadable emotion, but I can see the warmth in those oceanic depths, his pale skin almost seemed translucent with the moonlight shining down at us making him look younger, smaller than what I've always seen him as.

_"If you're with me__,__ then everything's alright..."_

After finishing the song, Yuu had a contemplative look in his face.

"Ahhh you didn't like it?" I looked away from him, suddenly feeling embarrassed for threatening him to essentially listening to a song from a game, I've played and cried over as a kid. I probably mistranslated the lyrics or something... _Oh! O__h God!_

I felt my face heat up with mortification after discovering something.

_I got the pronouns all mixed up!_ _Who even does that?! Ahk! Forget it, let's just call it as creative license and be done with it besides the description of the girl (River) fits Yuu more than I do!_

"—Osen-chan, Osen-chan!"

"Y-yes?"

"Don't worry now, I like it. It was beautiful."

I blinked at the small upturn of pale lips and I smiled wider this time and I hope it properly conveyed what I felt right now.

"Want to hear the rest of it?"

"I wouldn't mind at all."

His eyes were still dead though.

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Everything was still going fine.

Which was a miracle on itself, but I guess it was Mistress Fate's way of giving us a break from all the crap and misfortune we've gathered. Yuu and I are doing just fine surviving through the woods by ourselves, but I'm still waiting for the other figurative bombshell to just drop in our laps and explode in our faces.

But right now, I need to think positively. Much needed optimism now that Yuu— who had always been the optimistic one from our duo despite appearances— is now down in the dumps. It's my turn to lift up the mood in this dreary walk of doom in the probable Forest of Absolute Death. And yes, it all needs Capitalization with a Capital C because Kermit knows is it darn obvious. Hearing the creepy crawlers everywhere and all the wild beasts that lurks in the shadows waiting for the right opportunity to pounce on us fleshy young children makes me want to vomit in sheer terror.

_Wait, that thought was negative... I need happier thoughts, think of that green singing frog puppet getting burned into ashes and deleted to the minds of young children, think of mascots and clowns never getting invented, of those death traps that they called __'__Fun__'__ Rides are none existent in this world, that's all good things Sen, all great things. And that sleek, sleek grand piano with the most melodious of tones that you might... not be able to play again... _ever_._

It seems like my young traitorous pessimistic mind keeps getting to me, my brain was just not wired to be filled with rainbows and ponies and sparkly vomit. Dear Pinkamena Diane Pie, how do you do it?

_Not only that, there is no internet here and you're acting like a premature adult with a constant fear with her own shadow__. __I mean__,__ you're so pathetic and usele__ss. So useless that you can't even die properly and ends up getting reincarnated as a big mistak_—

"Argggggghhh... JUST _SHUT_ UP BRAIN!" I cried out, pulling on my unbound hair with my eyes closed.

Yuu felt amused and weirded out, the sound of waves splashing playfully at the sandy shores.

"What's wrong Osen-chan?" He asked from ahead, not even bothering to look back.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything is peachy keen. All swell as an orange Orange and ripe as a red Apple. Everything is fine, not that you can hear the devils on tiny legs crawling about everywhere and the local wild life sniffing at us like a demented creepy old perv. Everything is absolutely dandy are you _laughing_ at me?!"

With no inflection in his voice whatsoever, the boy with ocean eyes replied, taking his time to turn back to simply say, "No."

I can hear the amusement clearly coming from the most inner part of the brat's heart. What a little annoyance.

"Oh really now?"

"Yes really."

"Then why are you smirking? I'm not blind, I saw your lips twitch upwards for a nanometer so don't you dare try to deny it!"

The brat had the gall to ignore me.

"Hey don't you ignore me! Hey Yuu! HEY LITTLE ASS—! Oomph..."

_Where the hell did this root came from?! I swear this forest is trying to kill me! Maybe a g-g-ghost tried to trip_—

"Pfftt..." A muffled noise came from ahead.

I didn't bother to look up, knowing fully well who it was. The little assjerk is laughing for the first time after three days of strained smiles, I'll let him have his fun for now.

For now.

"A-are you okay?" His voice was wobbly from laughing, the sloshing playful waves of the ocean was a great reprieve from its stillness. I didn't answer.

"Here, let me help you."

His hand hovered in my peripheral vision, slowly, I reached out a hand towards it.

"You should be more carefu—ah."

Then it was my time to laugh my ass off, the look of surprise in his face was precious. I did say that he will pay for his jerkaiser ways. Yuu was now in solid ground, eating damp old leaves and mud, looking as put out as he could get with a bland poker face.

"Ahahahahahahahahahaha!"

I didn't pick myself up from the rather comfortable lying position, my voice echoing within the forest. It was freeing to laugh like this again after the whole tragedy of a legit monster thrashing our lives and I can confirm that Yuu felt the same.

"Why did you do that." The question was dry and as flat as Yuu's unimpressed face, but the shine in his eyes betrayed it.

It only served me another bout of laughter.

"Ahahahahaha! You're face, ahahaha... pfft... you should've seen it! It was ahaha glorious! You're just all 'ah' afterwards, what kind of surprised vocal expression is that?! I didn't know you could even make that face!" I continued laughing cackling actually until a muddy hand introduced itself to my face.

It was Giyuu's turn to laugh. It wasn't loud or boisterous like Daiki-ojiichan's nor was it bell-like and breezy like Kaa-san's. It was more of a chuckle really, light and quiet much like the ocean during a windy but fine weather.

The sound was a welcomed one, despite it being on my expense I felt considerably lighter, some weight falling off my chest. My eyes teared up reflexively at the sudden influx of warm emotions, but I held it back and grinned instead. It was wide and almost painful, I was just so happy at this moment.

(_I hope it continues to be like this._)

Taking a fistful of mud with my tiny hands, I hurled myself towards his laughing form, smearing it on his face and his clothes cackling all the while.

He went quiet once again, surprised for some reason. Then his eyes gleamed with mischief.

I didn't wait for him to get his plans into action and started hauling serious ass. Shrieks of joy leaving my lips as I heard him follow in my heels with a war cry.

...

The impromptu laundry day was so worth it, I've never seen Yuu so happy since that day.

Maybe, I'm not too bad at the cheering up gig, I just need to fine tune it. Who knew that I can be a joy-bringer for once.

His eyes finally had some life in them now, I would just need to work harder for it.

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Whoever directed those magical pony movies where everything about their traveling was a-okay needs to get their heads checked or at least gets a kick in the groin. It must be someone who sleeps with fantastic dreams or just someone with a really large imagination.

(Or maybe just plain high on something, I don't judge.)

Because the _hell_ was this traveling journey a one great slide on a magical sparkly rainbow.

In other words, it all went from 'we are walking in the woods alone with just a single knife for protection' to 'I think someone is following us so we better hurry' and finally into 'oh _shit_, there is someone following us and possibly not some random village huntsman who's willing to help us so we better friggin' run' which escalated up to this point.

By this point, I meant that—_TAE, tae, tae, tae, tae! Muntik na ko dun ah! Aba Ginoong Maria, Napupuno ka ng grasya_—

I let out a squeak when my foot almost slipped on a particularly moss ridden rock of the cliff side, my eyes clenching shut once I caught a glimpse of the dark, dark hole below me where I could hear rushing water which I could probably drown in if I loose my footing again.

_Ang anak ng Diyos ay sumasakanya bah! Fudge it! Why am I even bothering to pray a Filipino translated Hail Mary at this point when I should be focusing on_—

"Kyaaa!" My foot slipped again slightly, but I managed to regain footing at the last minute.

Why am I in here you ask?

Well, that's because ROA (Random Omnipotent Asshole) decided to stroke my bad luck once again for cursing his sacred name.

Divine retribution or so they say.

I glared up at the sky for the rain that had drenched me oh so thoroughly. It was cold, I was shivering and most certainly don't want to be in this place any longer. I forced away the reflexive tears from my eyes that were the testament to my frustration in my current situation. Yuu was at the top of this cliff and that's about the only good thing going for me in the universe right at this moment.

It was a good thing that the masked old guy who had been following us had taken hold of him before he got the mistake to step back up fearfully to thin air. The bad thing is that the old guy didn't manage to do the same for me and I fell to my almost death.

Old guy sounds regretful and panicked at that moment and if my dumb self didn't panicked at the thought of being followed I would have recognized that he doesn't mean us any harm, if anything he sounds concern about us two children wandering in the woods with no adult supervision.

(If only I wasn't such an idiot.)

Luckily, there was a thick slab of rock sticking out meters below me and I painfully landed there, who knew that rolling over when landing on a great height to lessen damage was actually true? Thank you self for remembering unnecessary movie facts.

My knees and hands were scraped and I think my left ankle was sprained and so was my left wrist—I favored my left when I landed in a quasi cat-like manner, to avoid my right side for my favored arm—my forehead was bleeding sluggishly but it wasn't anything major. The pained anguish cry that followed my descent was the scariest thing ever and not the fall and the pain I'm feeling right now.

It was Yuu, and he was wailing and cursing obscenities about everything including himself. It was unforgivable to hear him say those depreciating words, of how lowly he was, how useless he was, because he certainly wasn't. He was nothing less than a superb bestest best friend I could ever wish for.

I tried to yell back at him to shut up, come help me and stop saying those stupid reasons, how he was the bestest best friend ever, but all my words were swallowed by the sound of the thudding rain and the roaring thunder.

So that's the reason why I'm here.

Drenched to the bone, with a smarting ankle and wrist, clinging onto an icky rock and desperately trying to climb back up.

I should have known that it wasn't just some creepy guy.

_Great, now Yuu's gonna be all depressed and he only have __some random questionable good samaritan old guy wearing a tengu mask as company._

My vision was clouding over and the rock I'm holding seemed to sway in place but just as I was about to loose consciousness something grabbed hold of me.

Then I knew nothing else.

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Giyuu was beyond disappointed at himself.

He was a failure of a protector and now his only friend is suffering for it.

Looking down at her now, fair skin now startlingly pale and clammy, the apples of her rounded cheeks flushed from the fever that was currently taking hold of her made her seem all the more fragile.

(No, his friend isn't a fragile creature no matter how cowardly she is, she's sturdy, hardier than he could ever hope to be because how could someone still smile that brightly despite everything?)

Her raven hair was unbound by the hat that she loves so much, but a white bondage was there instead, her hair curled at her cheeks and if it wasn't for the situation he would have think it was cute.

God, Senritsu just turned three a month before the tragedy and now here she was, bed ridden because she slipped into a cliff in the pouring rain and all of it was because Giyuu had been careless.

She must've been so afraid, so frightened when she dropped in the open air and to land harshly on some rock. She must've been scared while struggling to climb up with an injured wrist and ankle, with her hands and knees scraped and forehead bleeding.

She must've been crying a river all through that while he was safe and just screaming helplessly for something to happen.

He is a sorry excuse of a friend for putting her in such a situation and looking at Senritsu right now, how small she looks on the fairly large futon made his heart clench even further because how could he have forgotten?

Senritsu just acts so much like an adult that he sometimes forget that she's only three, barely out of her babyhood. Giyuu hadn't been protecting her at all but the other way around, she's been protecting him, taking care of him and cheering him up, making him smile again.

Giyuu thought that he would have lost the ability to smile but he was dead wrong on that regard, she even made him laugh! Giyuu wonders what would become of him if he wasn't a friend of hers. Just thinking about it makes his stomach churn unpleasantly, his head swim in a dark place and his heart beat rapidly in his throat.

(Senritsu's too kind, too bright, too warm and too much than what anyone could ever hope for as a friend and Giyuu's too much of a lucky bastard to have made her as a friend.)

He can't imagine a life without Senritsu on his side, it would be dark, monochrome and without a sound. Suzuran-san had named her daughter perfectly for Senritsu really brings up the melody, making everything livelier, brighter.

"Tomioka-san, it's time to eat."

A voice came from behind him and Giyuu didn't even turn to acknowledge the boy. Senritsu is infinitely much more important than him.

There was a scoff, a rustle of clothes and a presence beside him when the boy sat close to him.

"You know, she won't be happy if she learns that you're starving yourself." Giyuu inwardly thinks that he's right but he is sure that his friend should he even consider himself as one? would understand the thought of punishing himself for being an incompetent protector and friend.

"Oi," a hand grabs Giyuu's shoulder but he still resolutely ignores the other's presence. "You won't be doing her any good by sitting here. She would most likely worry about you when she sees you like this and as a real man, one shouldn't worry a woman like this. Specially one who is ill and fragile."

_He's wrong._

Giyuu continued to ignore him but there's a small crack on his resolve. Clearly, this boy doesn't know Senritsu very well and how dare he assume that he knows Senritsu more than Giyuu when Giyuu is her friend. He fisted the fabric of his hakama, trying not to lash out at this boy who dared to claim how Senritsu would act.

Giyuu succeeds at calming himself because he had experience on holding back anger from the past few days. He can't afford to lash out now because what if he wakes Senritsu up when she needs to rest, that wouldn't be good, not good at all.

So Giyuu withheld his tongue, placed his cool mask on and stared ahead like he hadn't heard anything, like he didn't want to throttle the boy beside him.

There was a long sigh. "Come on now, if you can't do it for yourself then at least do it for her. Yes she needs you but not all the time."

_See. _Giyuu scoffs at the boy's cluelessness. _He doesn't know how Osen-chan acts around screaming after waking up in unknown places._

"I assure you that I would look after her when you eat and if you want, I can call Urokodaki-san to watch over her."

_No, calling the old man would scare her more. If she wakes up and sees the mask there's no guarantee that she wouldn't react violently._

Giyuu was still angry with the man for scaring the daylights out of them even if he meant well. It was his fault that Senritsu is lying in bed right now.

"Tomioka-san, I know that it's hard but you _need _to eat someth—"

"And how would you know of what I really need?" Giyuu blurted out because he can't stay quiet anymore as this boy continued to claim things that he doesn't know off.

"Why do you assume that she would act like that when you _don't_ know her." There's an unsaid 'and I do'.

Giyuu turned his head to glare at the peach haired boy. "How can you say that's what she would've liked when you clearly _don't_ know her?" He bit out, lips turning down to show his anger, his displeasure at the mere thought of the question because this boy doesn't know Senritsu at all.

The boy Sabito—or was it Sahito?—stared at him, lavender eyes, that if Sen were to see she would praise how unique and beautiful it was, she had done the same to him, leaving him blushing and stuttering as she praised that his eyes were the bluest of blues.

"She's... really important to you."

Giyuu turns back to the sleeping form of his friend and grabs the tiny uninjured hand laying on the futon, again, he marvels how small they are compared to his own.

"Of course she is." She's the only one he has left.

"I didn't mean to act as if I know what you need nor assume what the little lady would want and like. I only meant to assure you and for you to consider your health. How else would you greet her with energy if you don't eat?" From the corner of his eyes, Sabito gave him a smile that stretched the painful looking scar on his right cheek, it still looked fresh, maybe a few months old.

_Maybe he's right._

Giyuu watched Senritsu's eyebrows pinching together and her mouth moving to utter "Yuu..."

Squeezing the tiny hand in his slightly, he gave Senritsu a slight smile when amber eyes fluttered open. "I'm here, Osen-chan."

"I know. Just eat already so that I can sleep." Her words stunned him. "I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere." For added effect the girl pouted cutely though Giyuu thinks that it was supposed to be a disapproving frown.

"He's right you know, I won't be happy if you collapse." And with a pointed look from her slightly glassy eyes he folded.

With a sigh, Giyuu got up and before walking out of the room he eyed the peach haired boy that was still sitting beside his friend.

"Please take care of her." Giyuu didn't go until he got any affirmation and he did.

"I will."

Nodding slightly, Giyuu was out the door as he stepped out to the living room that also acts as a kitchen and a dining room, behind him he could make out their conversation from the thin door.

"Thank you for forcing him to eat ahm..."

"Sabito."

"Thank you Sabito-san, I know Yuu can be a little bit standoffish but he's a good person, he's just really angry right now after everything that happened."

There was a boyish laugh. "Yes I understand, he cares for you greatly and I can see why, you're a great friend to him Osen-chan."

Giyuu can almost picture the blush spreading on his friend's cheeks, she'd always been like that when she gets complimented.

"W-w-what are you saying?! I'm nothing great at all! I'm just a little c-coward who's only talent is singing! And can I also say that your eyes are beautiful! They're like the sky when it's about to rain, just like the sound of your heart, i-i-it's _very_ soothing!"

...

"...I guess so." Sabito gave an almost inaudible reply.

"Wait... are you blushing? That's seriously cute."

"N-no I'm not! You're the one who's blushing _and_ cute here! And a man can't be cute!"

"C-can too! I'm not cute, I'm ugly. Besides, I knew a bear of a man that acts like a giggling housewife sometimes and it's cute in a horrifying way."

A tinge of sadness laced that reply, Giyuu's mind flashing to a memory of Daiki giggling at Senritsu's pinched face. It was quite a disturbing sight.

"It seems like they're getting along swimmingly."

A voice came from behind Giyuu bringing him out of the memory.

"Hn. Osen-chan had always been good with people even if she says otherwise."

A sparkle entered Giyuu's eyes that the older man took note of. It was a vast improvement to the hallow eyes that doesn't need to belong to a child.

"Ah, Urokodaki-san?" Giyuu stopped just before the masked man.

Urokodaki tilted his head, urging him to continue. "Yes Tomioka-kun?"

Giyuu bowed at the waist, his hands clenching his hakama as he heard the giggle from the other room. It filled him with an urgent duty, fed his determination and strengthen his resolve to go with his decision.

He needs to protect it, to protect that smile and laughter.

_"From now on we're friends! Believe it!"_

_"Believe it?"_

_"Oh you wouldn't get it even if I tell you."_

He needs to protect that, after all he promised that he would protect her.

"Urokodaki-san I'm very grateful that you saved Osen-chan and please, accept me as your student." Giyuu said firmly, for the few days that he'd been staying with the old man and his ward, Giyuu had noticed that Sabito was training with a wooden sword.

The other boy had told him that he was training to protect other people from something sinister, the beings that live off of human flesh, the ones who destroyed his and Senritsu's family.

The creatures that are called Demons.

It was quiet for a moment, the man mulling over his words. "And why would you want to become one?" Finally the man asked in a grave tone.

Taking the hint, Giyuu straightened up and looked directly to the mask's eyeholes, his blue eyes filled with determination. "I want to learn how to protect humans from those creatures that destroyed our family. I want to become your student to honor the memory of my sister's death and fulfill the promise that I made to her, that I would live and find happiness. And finally, I want to become your student to protect my friend." Giyuu didn't let up with his stare, the annoyingly eerie tengu mask serving the purpose of hiding Urokodaki's face from Giyuu, which makes guessing his reactions harder.

The tense silence was only broken when the old man nodded in acknowledgement. "I will test you, be prepared."

Giyuu could only nod gratefully and got back to his earlier ordeal. He wouldn't want to hear Senritsu screech when she learns that he still hadn't eaten lunch.

* * *

***-*-*-*-***

* * *

"So you're saying that we should call you Zenitsu from now on?" Sabito spoke to me as if he's unsure whether I'm going crazy or just plain crazy.

I gave him a glare for his unneeded efforts, but it's hard with the bandage wrapped around my head.

"Yes, I'm sure of it. If I'm going to pose as a boy I would need a boy's name. Plus, Zenitsu sounds close to Senritsu so I can respond immediately. You guys better start calling me that other than Osen-chan. Though Zen would probably do." Ironically, I am not close to being 'Zen'. Hysterical and Paranoid should fit me more but does are not nameable names.

Now it was Yuu's turn to give me he's incredulous look, which only consists of slightly pinched eyebrows and his taut left cheek. "Why now? We're in the mountain and no-one else is here besides us."

"That's the point Yuu! What if we have to go down this mountain and you guys slip! I'll be the little boy who has a girly name!"

I heard a small rumble coming from the old man in a weird tengu mask, he's sound was like that a steady stream of a river. Somehow, all of their sounds are associated with the sound of water, makes me wonder what my sound is.

"And why would you need to disguise as a boy Senritsu-chan?"

"Because it's dangerous for young girls at this era specially to someone as small and dumb like me! I could get whisked away by a stranger if they managed to convince me to come with them!"

Silence.

"... and would you let yourself get convince by a stranger?"

"Of course not Tengu-jiji, I don't know them! My ears could detect whether they are lying or not."

"I see." The amusement of the old man is palpable, too bad I can't see his actual reaction.

A large warm hand came on top of my head and for a brief moment I felt like Daiki-ojiichan was messing with my hair again.

_I miss them._

"Okay then, Zenitsu-kun it is." The old man relented. "Though I don't think that you're dumb Zenitsu-kun, I think that you're really smart for your age."

"Urokodaki-san you're going to just encourage it?"

Yuu only gave the man a raised eyebrow to convey his unspoken words.

"Why not? It's a good exercise to be cautious, you should learn a thing or two from Zenitsu-kun."

My already heated cheeks from the fever warmed even further at the compliments. "I-I'm not that smart you know, K-Kaa-san was just a great teacher and I'm just paranoid n-nothing great."

"She just turned three a month ago." Yuu added with a hint of pride making me heat up even further and it's got nothing to the fever.

The scarred boy gave me an awed look, the kind that I hadn't seen since my last life, an awed look which was always present at the end of my piano recitals. "Wow really? You talk really well for your age and you don't even act like a bratty one."

"Sabito-kun." There's a hint of warning on the man's raspy voice.

"But It's true Urokodaki-san, all the other kids her age are a bunch of brats, snot-nosed brats who does nothing but cry." Ouch. That hit exactly right home.

"I don't know about you guys but for a heads up, I'm a certified coward _and_ a crybaby."

At this, Sabito blinked at me, confusion on his face. "Really? But I've heard that you handled yourself pretty well for someone who slipped on a cliff."

Now that I thought of it, I didn't even cry much during that time. Or maybe that's just the rain that was too heavy that I can't even tell if I'm crying or not. "That's different Sabito-san, I was more worried about Yuu's sanity than my own well being back there and oh, that reminds me." I sat up ever so slowly, but my vision still blurred for a second and thankfully Yuu was there to steady me.

And the fact that he made himself reachable was a blessing.

I gave Yuu the best stink eye I could give with the bandage wrapped around my head. Just thinking about all the bad things he said about himself made me feel like my insides were being churned upwards and its got nothing on the memory of free falling off a cliff.

My eyes burned yet again, a familiar feeling when I'm trying to hold back tears from spilling.

"Osen-chan?" Yuu said worriedly taking my hands in his, I didn't even realized that they were shaking. The distinct sound of worry was coming all over the place and I looked at the other two unfamiliar people moving closer to my bed.

"You..." My voice came out shaky and garbled. I guess it's about time that I break down at some point. I knew that it would come one way or another, I just don't deal with built up stress pretty well.

Yuu squeezed my hands reassuringly. "Yes Osen-chan?"

The dam that is me broke down.

"Don't you ever say those t-things about YOURSELF E_VER AGAIN!_" I cried out, tears spilling from my eyes like a waterfall as I punched his chest over and over again, the pain on my injured hand making me cry harder for stupidly using it for hitting my dumb self-hating friend. He doesn't even try to pretend that it hurts him.

_How dare he be unhurt of my useless attacks!_

"What?"

_How dare he be clueless!_

"Don't use that hand, you're still hurt."

_How dare he be so calm when I'm crying while snot dripped on my face!_

"Ya think I hadn't heard all of the things that ya said when I fell?! W-well," I sniffled pitifully, snot dripping from my nose. "You're wrong dumbass! I heard everything loud and clear!"

The blue eyed boy seemed surprise for the sudden turn of events and he's leaning away when I got really close to him. Probably the snot.

"Why would you say that huh?!" I hit his arm with my uninjured hand making him flinch slightly.

"Y-you're not weak! Neither are you bad company or a lousy protector or, or any of those other _filth_ you said!"

I grabbed both of his shoulders and started shaking him. "A-and don't you ever ever EVER say that you're the worst friend because you," I jabbed a finger repeatedly to his forehead, maybe if I poked it enough he would finally get it "Tomioka Giyuu are the greatest bestest friend that a cowardly ugly looser of a little girl could ever ask for and you're not allowed to say that you want to die either b-because if you're gone what will ever happen to me I'll be so sad that I might actually die again and I can't just—"

I came crushing down to a small chest before I could even finish up my tirade of jumbled words. Still hiccuping and snot probably sticking to the red yukata that Yuu loves.

I'm a mess and I can't help it.

This was probably my largest break down since coming here. I didn't get to properly mourn the dead when I was too busy thinking about our survival. Didn't get to properly mourn when I was shot by my sperm donor, leaving Mama behind, leaving some parts of me behind.

(Maybe this is my very own version of personal hell that everyone is prattling about in what they call 'limbo'. But I swear that I've always been good, well, mostly good. Sacrificing myself for my Mama's life was good right? Even if my only intentions was that so I wasn't the one getting left behind.)

I guess I wasn't really done with my grieving. Or maybe I wouldn't be able to move pass grieving at all. I'm just so incompetent that I can't even move on.

So incompetent that I can't even die properly.

_Maybe Billie Eilish was right, all the good girls _do _go to hell._

"You... y-you can't go. P-please don't say those words again..." I clutched at him desperately, looking directly at his eyes. Was it my blurry vision or is he crying too?

_I'm just a pathetic coward, I can't live on my own._

"I-I love you ya know... y-you're the only one left of my f-family. I don't... I don't think I could take another heartbreak again." My voice broke by the end of it, tears still leaking and my snot as disgusting as it sounds, was still there, dripping.

So you were saying Sabito-san? You shouldn't have judge quickly.

Yuu grabbed my cheek, carefully wiping my face with a wash cloth with his shaking hand.

"Senritsu... I'm sorry." Yuu spoke, his voice faltering. Oddly enough the sound of his heart sounded like the calm ocean again like how it was before.

"Ish that... ISH THAET AHL YA GUANNA SHAY PHUNK?! _SHORRY?! JUSH SHORRY?!_"

_How dare he be still cool while apologizing! How dare he convince me to forgive him by just saying sorry!_

It seems like Yuu was done hearing me warble words because what he said next stunned me.

"I wasn't t-thinking clearly back then, I-I thought I've lost YOU! I thought I've lost someone again after Nee-san just died because of those, those abominations ate her! And just like that time, I felt so helpless... so pathetic, so angry and weak and, and _alone_."

His ocean eyes dimmed for a moment but when he blinked and opened them again they became more vivid, fiercer and filled with determination on those beautiful blue depths and what something like forever ago, he smiled.

Not just the small quirk of his lips nor a faint smirk but a full blown smile that finally reached his eyes, his pearly white teeth slightly visible.

You know, it's unfair how even if he's crying he still managed to look cute while doing it and I'm the little girl here who's supposed to be cuter. I must look like a wheezing chihuahua with a frothing mouth beside this angel.

_How dare he look cute even while crying!_

"But you're not gone. You're still here, still alive and noisy and bright and still warm. Still warm and here with me." Tears fell from his eyes but he still continued and I watched on transfixed.

"And you've always been like that, warm and bright and so unbelievablely kind that you let others walk all over you. Which was frustrating 'cause you don't deserve any of that and what's more frustrating is how you think about yourself. You're not dumb, ugly or useless, you're more than that! Aren't you being a hypocritical that I can't call names about myself when you do it so often?"

I visibly winced at that.

"You're really smart or maybe even a genius since you're three and you can already read more kanji than I do, speak larger words than I do and know a lot of things more than I do. So, you're not allowed to call yourself dumb! Not at all, and if you do I'm going to be upset." Yuu if only you know, I only know shit because of a cheat code called 'Reincarnation'.

Also, I didn't know that he can be so talkative. It's so not him, maybe he's the one having a fever.

"You're not ugly either, I think you're eyebrows are really cute and it brings out you're eyes that are really beautiful, they're like stars, so bright, so warm and you just light up everything when you smile. I, I think you are..." a small blush appeared on his face while mine probably resembled a red light bulb. I can feel my face heating up, down to my neck and down to my stomach where it sat pleasantly.

"I think you're prettier than Kiyo-chan or Mimi-chan or the other girls in the village and I think you're gonna grow up just as beautiful as Suzuran-san or even more and most importantly," He took me by the shoulders glaring at me with such intensity. My face was really hot, still splotchy with tear tracks, but this boy still said all that without hesitation, like he believed all of that.

(His heartbeat confirms that thought.)

"YOU, are not useless. You're the reason why I can still smile. You ground me, you taught me a lot of things that I don't understand and most importantly," his glare faded into a softer look. "You're a really good friend, a family that gives me a reason to keep going after loosing almost everything."

He placed his warm hand on my cheek, thumb brushing the tears that was threathening to fall again. I've never seen him like this before, his ocean eyes staring at me with warmth and so much life that it made me feel giddy to see them like that. No more dead fish eyes for me.

"I never really got to thank you hadn't I? For being my friend, no, my best friend after all this time. So," His face morphed into seriousness then he bowed, giving me a proper dogeza, his face almost touching the wooden floorboards. I could only gape unattractively.

"I, Tomioka Giyuu, humbly thanks you Agatsuma Senritsu for being my best friend."

It only took me a second but when he lifted his head I slammed into him with a hug—which he returned—my waterworks returning in waves while I grinned like a loon, but I couldn't bring myself to care of how I looked right now, all that matters was showing how much I love my giant dork of a friend. I felt unimaginably warm and tingly all over, a familiar feeling that associates to the people important to me.

"I-Idiot! Friends don't have to thank each other but, w-wow Yuu, I didn't know you have it in you to say all of that in sentences that are more than ten words each. You're getting better at expressing yourself."

"Hn. Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Ahahaha, I sure will. Guess you're gonna go back to monosyllabic responses now ha?"

"Hn."

It was quiet and peaceful as I listened to the calm ocean that is my friend that I almost forgot about the others in the room. The rain and the steady rushing river.

Glancing at the corner of my eyes, I saw Sabito gave a kind smile, but in his eyes were slight envy as well as relief. The old man's tense shoulders are now relaxed, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I guess you're not really kidding about the crybaby part and being a snot-nosed brat."

"You bet I am." My reply was followed by a yawn and my eyes were slightly drooping down, tiredness and my over all health making itself known.

I was physically, mentally and emotionally drained and my three year old body was starting to shut down and letting me know that I better start resting again.

"You should rest now or you're fever won't go down."

I opened my eyes slightly to weakly glare at Yuu. "I know that," a yawn broke out from me again "j-just don't leave yet okay? Or I won't..." my eyes starting to close and finding that I don't mind sleeping in Yuu's arms and hearing his heartbeat this close.

"I won' sing you' fav'rite song again..."

For once, after all the incident I fell asleep with no nightmares to bother me, it was only me and the peaceful ocean.

* * *

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* * *

**Omake: The Ocean and the Rain (5 years later)**

"Hey Yuu, I have something to show you." The peach haired boy grinned from ear to ear, a slight air of smugness in his voice as he brandished a simple handmade lavender colored hair tie with five attached thin clear strings—which was very sturdy despite appearances—that were looped in clear blue beads—but it looked more like crystals—that were shaped like a raindrop.

Giyuu only gave him a raised eyebrow.

Sabito huffed at his friend's typical quiet nature but he had come to get used to it after all the years of being in the same roof and studying under the same mentor.

"It came with the letter Zen-chan addressed to me, he said it was to keep my hair out of my face while training. Isn't he thoughtful?" With that said, Sabito gathered his shoulder length hair at the top of his skull, tying it tightly with his newly given present.

Satisfied with the result, Sabito tilted his head slightly to the left, making the beads rustle, catching the sun with its clear color. The scarred boy lifted an eyebrow at Giyuu as if to say 'and where is yours?'

If Giyuu was one to roll his eyes he would have rolled it at the other boy's competitive streak when it comes to Senritsu's sorry, Zenitsu's affection.

(Not that Giyuu was any better when he was eight and wants his little friend's affection all to himself.)

Without replying, Giyuu turned his head to the side and pointed at his tied hair were a vivid blue hair tie with ruffled white silk spiraling around it sat on the base of his neck. But unlike Sabito were it had beads, Giyuu's looked simple but if you looked closer it wasn't just plain blue either, it was banded in varying shades of blue. All in all it looked like a ripple of water was encircling Giyuu's spiky hair and was keeping it together.

"He gave it to me a week ago." At his casual reply, Sabito couldn't help but frown at him.

_His were given a week earlier than mine._

Sabito knows that Giyuu didn't mean to be condescending with his answer and he knew how his friend had a problem with expressing himself with words but Sabito just couldn't help but get irritated nonetheless.

...

When Urokodaki finally got back from his trip to the village for some fresh fruits and vegetables, he immediately noted the tension between his students and he had a suspicion on what it was about.

The two were having one of their staring match once again, the only barrier between them is the low wooden table were they sat in front of the other. Giyuu with his placid face and dull ocean eyes that gave away nothing and Sabito with his tense shoulders and furrowed brows.

Good thing Urokodaki was wearing a mask or else they would have seen that he was rolling his eyes in exasperation.

The two had become close after five years under his tutelage, growing together, bonding over shared bruises and training together to become demon slayers with their goal to protect humans.

The only reason that Giyuu and Sabito could ever have an argument was if it's about a certain crossdressing sweet kind girl with low self-esteem. Though Urokodaki could admit that the girl was an adorable thing and it would be amusing to see when the girl grows up, sees someone as special or when boys takes interest of her.

Urokodaki Sakonji does not doubt the possibility of the latter, anyone would be enthralled by such a kind strong young woman with cuteness wrapped around her like a beautiful ribbon.

Giyuu and Sabito would be reduced into mad guard dogs protecting their precious little owner from what they see as a threat.

Amusing really and Urokodaki was there to watch all of it.

"I'm home."

Reflexively, the boys replied without breaking the stare off. "Welcome home."

Urokodaki placed the produce not so subtly between them and then he proceeded to remove his long scarf that he used as a hood in his travel. It was a dark blue handmade knitted scarf with a wave pattern that was a lighter shade of blue, the scarf was relatively new and wasn't the old man's go to bandanna which peaked Sabito's interest.

"You bought a new scarf?"

The old man folded the soft scarf with great care with his callused hands. "No, it was given to me as a gift."

"From who?" Giyuu asked with a flat tone but the former pillar could smell the suspicion coming from him.

Urokodaki inwardly chuckled at this, his disciples are really amusing when it comes to their youngest friend.

He placed the scarf on the table running his fingers across it, marveling its softness and how well made it was. Zenitsu really had a great knack when it comes to any kind of needlework and from what Urokodaki heard from the girl and Giyuu, Zenitsu's mother was a great seamstress and a weaver, the one who've made Zenitsu's cherished bandanna.

"From Zenitsu-kun, I received it two weeks ago when he visited."

Silence.

Then the familiar scent of jealousy, irritation and anger bombarded Urokodaki's nose no doubt coming from the two boys that are now glaring daggers at him. The old former pillar didn't held back his amused chuckle this time.

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**A/n: It's 2 in the morning here and I haven't slept yet but welp, would you look at that a whooping 8,975 words fot this update! I was supposed to upload this by Christmas but since I have no computer to speak off and just a crappy phone to type and edit all of this you get my drift.**

**Also, it has come to my attention that I'm sorely lacking in appreciation to those who have supported this story despite the crappy editing, spellings and grammatical errors.****Don't think you guys are unloved because I freaking LOVE YOU ALL just by reading this thing—a brain fart really— and reading you're reviews makes me smile like a loon everytime I receive one.**

**I'M A REVIEW WHORE OKAY!**

**(You're reviews are the only way that I learn what you think of this story and I really have confidence issues with my writing skills, the comments are like reassurance that I'm even doing well.)**

**Don't worry guys the kiddie chapters are almost up and we'll all be seeing the gang soon enough. I mean Sabito and Tengu-jiji is in this chapter, so that's gotta be something.**

**Here's some translations!**

**Tae- pronounced as 'Tah-ey'. It literally means poop, crap or shit. I find myself using this very frequently when I'm surprised or in deep shit.**

**Muntik na ako dun - That was close.**

**Aba Ginoong Maria - Hail Mary in Filipino**

**Bye again and Happy Holidays!!!!~**


	7. Moving Forward

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 06: Moving Forward**

**Warning: Timeskips Galore**

**Non-betaed**

* * *

**To clarify, Giyuu, Sabito and Urokodaki refer to Zen-chan with gender neutral pronouns when talking about her or to her at the first part. Don't mistake it as the boys calling her 'them' or 'they', its just in Nihonggo or Japanese, people sometimes refer to others in gender neutral pronouns like 'aitsu' or 'koitsu' which can both mean him/her. So for the time being the boys are switching from him/he to her/she but in the near future Zen-chan would be able to convince them to call her with male pronouns to solidify her guise and the boys would reluctantly agree to sooth her non-existing worries about her lack of convincingness when it comes to manliness and being seen through her disguise. Giyuu blames Sabito for that fact alone.**

* * *

**~1 year later~**

"Zen, come with _me._" Yuu glared at the hand holding my other hand. Frustration, jealousy and irritation present in his heart.

A slight hum. "But I'm going to show Zen-chan something and he already agreed." The hand tightened its hold while Yuu tugged me to his direction.

"He's coming with _me_."

"No." Sabito—or Sachi for me at least—started pulling too and his kind smile somehow looked threatening in its pleasantness.

"Let go, Sabito-_san_."

"No can't do, I asked him first."

"Hn." Yuu's hold tightened painfully, his sapphire cut eyes drilling to lavender fox-like eyes. Somehow that action reminded me of that one anime guy with a duck's butt for hair, what was it again? Uchiwa? Uchiha?

Either way, it has to do with a fan of all things.

_What's with these two?! _I tried to wriggle my hands free but their grip won't relent and it's starting to become painful. I sighed in exasperation.

_Here we go again_.

"You should learn how to share you know, don't hog Zen-chan all to yourself Giyuu."

Yuu frowned. "I don't have to share him, he's my friend."

Sachi quirked a brow, the mellow rain starting to become violent, pulling me closer to him. "So what? He's my friend too."

"I was first."

"And that was last year, you've only met him a month before we've met, hence, you have already spent more time with him. That's why he's going with me right now." Sachi spoke calmly, his brows furrowing slightly.

Yuu just pulled, not bothering to reply, his eyes were cold and angry.

"OUCH!"

I am confused as hell by these two ridiculous boys, pulling at me like I'm some toy that they insisted being theirs. It had already been a year since our faithful meeting that involved a cliff and a possible pedo that turned out to be an old man who trains children to become slayers of the abominations called demons.

So much had happened, Yuu insisting to become Tengu-jiji's student was the very star of those changes. I was against it and still am to this day, because what kind of friend am I if I tolerate the thought of a friend battling with an honest to God monster? What type of dumbass would I be if I willingly let my friend, one of my precious people, go into a dangerous job that might lead to his earlier grave?

_Hell fucking no_ but it's hard to convince the boy otherwise when he got it into his head that he's doing this to protect me better, to be a whole lot better friend when it's obvious that he doesn't have to do anything to become better because the stubborn brat was easily the greatest friend I could ask for. But that being said, once Yuu got it into his head to do something, he will do it even if you threatened him with bodily harm along with not cooking his favorite food and I'm telling you, not once did Giyuu refused to eat Kaa-san's special recipe of simmered salmon with daikon, that's just how bullheaded he is.

And right now, it is not the time for his inherent stubbornness.

(Sachi is no better in that regard either, I've tried convincing him but he ended up lecturing me about how to become a true man.)

_Why won't they just get along?!_ I know that both boys are kind and all, with Sachi more on the side of obsession about manliness and Yuu being the human iceberg with a massive side of coolness, but it was already a year now since we've been here living together and yet the two still constantly butt heads against each other.

_J-Just ow!_

My eyes automatically teared up and I sniffled, imagining myself getting torn in half with their tug of war with me as the rope but that's not the only reason. "I-It hurts, stop it the both of you! What if I split in half?!" Tears stumbled in my face, as my hands were easily freed from both boys, using them to furiously rub at my eyes.

"I don't want to die with my body split in half! Are you guys trying to kill me?!" I glared at them through tears while I wiped incessantly on my cheeks. By the Sound God, why am I such a wimp?

Their eyes were wide with panic and I can tell from their sound that they're sorry, very worried and a tad bit alarmed.

"O-Of course not Zen-chan I would never—"

"I'm sorry does your hand hurt—"

"Shut up!"

I wiped at my nose to clear the snot. _This had gone long enough _"You guys have been behaving like this for twelve months now! What's wrong?! I'm not a _toy_ and my growing bones are _really_ sensitive! What if you two break something? I don't want _that_," I shivered at the memory of my stupid ass self, trying to climb a bamboo tree unassisted, unconsciously rubbing my right arm. "to happen again! And if you both don't sort this out 'till tomorrow I'm gonna take Tengu-jiji's suggestion to live in his friend's house!" I immediately took off running towards the hut with my eyes closed after my outburst, partly it was because Tengu-jiji's idea of training for my ears—and that I don't mind it since it's useful in the long run— but it was mostly because I don't want to see their faces of abject horror. Just hearing their horrified heartbeats was enough.

It was true though, the former demon slayer did offer me to live with another old man named Kuwajima Jigoro, Tengu-jiji had told me that they were from the same generation and were good friends. He told me the reason for the invitation was that he was worried that I'd get bored by myself since the two were always training together, leaving me to my own devices and that the other old man was feeling lonely and wanted at least one brat with him to either teach or as company.

After a whole lot of maneuvering and clumsy tumbling, I managed to successfully get out of the bamboo forest without setting off the traps, my emotional state boosting my want to get out without a hitch. Sliding the shoji door with a slam, I immediately located my hiding place, ducking under Tengu-jiji's arm to open a cupboard that contains the pots and other cooking materials. When I was about to go inside my safe haven, large hands scooped me up to a firm chest, knowing who it was, I squirmed around to latch my arms to his neck. "Yuu and Sachi are being horrible again!"

A warm hand rubbed comforting circles on my back. "Were they arguing about you once again?" He asked carefully, making me huff in frustration about the ridiculous aggression the both have when I was placed in the picture.

The two could actually get along when I wasn't in the subject of their conversation, they're even friendly when I watched them secretly while they train. Not that I watch them secretly all the time. Not.

The two water boys could even joke around each other, with Yuu's blatant clueless indifference and dryness that made it hard to tell if he's kidding or insulting you and with Sachi's lighthearted jabs and his running obsession to becoming the truest manliest manly man to ever be truly manly.

He sounds like that one redhead guy on that one anime that I didn't manage to finish, with the one dude with green hair that I can relate to in terms of screechiness. Who was that guy again? Kiri-something or another.

For some reason I don't remember my last lifetime as well as I would have liked. Mama's face was becoming blurry and so was Tatay Ricky's and Granny's. When I try to remember the specifics, I felt like I was trying to catch soap bubbles, I know what they are, that they are there but when I finally grabbed them it would just pop.

I don't even remember my sperm donor's name anymore. It's freeing I guess, since he's the only person I've ever totally and really hated in my life, just forgetting about his real name is a big deal, it just says that he doesn't have a hold on me nor does he have a part in my world.

The only thing that was concerning since I don't want to truly forget about my family but I get the feeling that ROBi—as in Random Omnipotent Bitch—had something to do with it. She and ROA are the best of friends together with her brother ROB—stands for Random Omnipotent Bastard—in making my life more adventurous, dangerous and miserable.

Not being a Villager C sucks, I just had to land on a life of a possible MC in a possible different dimension and I'm not saying that I have the characteristics of an average MC of some random anime but my current backstory reeks of possible MC or major side character. But to be honest, I think Yuu fits the part of being an MC more than I do.

I mean, tragic backstory? Check. Calm and cool personality? Check. A warm heart despite looking cold? Check. A face that isn't easily forgettable and easy on the eyes? Check. Friends with either the coward type (me) and a headstrong one (Sachi) to balance his aloofness? Check. Being trained to become a great fighter by an eccentric old man in the middle of nowhere? Check. Had a righteous goal that is possibly dangerous and life threatening to achieve? A major check.

Yuu is an MC in the making and I'm his possible sidekick or childhood best friend that appears on his backstory or someone he's going to travel with in his adventures.

By the Music and Sound Gods, either way, it would still suck major balls.

And for the time being, Yuu is still going into character development of accepting others into his life and it sucks that it has been a year and he still haven't accepted Sachi into our trio.

(For some reason in anime there is almost always a trio, either a trifecta of villains or main characters or funny side characters.)

"The idiots are going at it again and they almost had me split in half again with all their pulling! So, I threatened them that I would go to Kuwajima-san's if they don't makeup by the end of the day and now, I feel terrible about it. Was it wrong of me to want my friends to both get along?" I wailed pitifully, the reassuring hand kept rubbing my back in circles, the flowing river trying to wash away my worries.

At the back of my mind, I can hear two others by the door, but I was too occupied with my stupid _feelings_.

"Maybe I should just go since I'm causing all the trouble for _all_ of you. I'm just a useless cowardly clingy kid with major issues, but then again I wouldn't want to become a burden to Kuwajima-san too if I'm ever to move to him." I looked up to the tengu mask's eyeholes and pulled a teary self-depreciating smile. "I'm really no good, aren't I?"

Tengu-jiji started. "Now child that is,"

"Bullshit Zen-chan! That is non-sense!" The rice paper door slammed open revealing an incredulous Sachi and a blank faced but equally incredulous Yuu.

"Sabito, language!"

"Not now Urokodaki-san!" Sachi marched over to me, stormy lavender eyes that reflected his sound, stared at me with determination. Yuu followed him quietly.

Once he was close enough, he snatched me away from the old man's arms and into his own. "You have never caused trouble for us Zen-chan." He smiled a kind smile, softening his features, his painful looking scar notwithstanding.

A warm presence settled on my side, it was Yuu, and they were sandwiching me between them. "It was us causing all the trouble for you."

"Bu-But—"

"No buts Zen-chan, just listen to us."

"You," A pale hand pointed towards my nose making me cross-eyed when I tried to follow it. "Are _never_ a burden to us." Blue eyes looked at me fiercely, an ocean trying to drown my troubles away. "And I've told you before hadn't I? That you are not useless and far from it."

"Giyuu's right, you're the one who gets our heads straight when we need a whole lot of yelling." Nimble fingers started scratching my scalp distractively, making my hunched shoulders relax and lean back to Sachi's warm chest. "Like right now, you always know the right words to say when we need it, we men don't really know how to do that, and we're glad to have someone like you with us."

Giyuu shuffled closer, leaning his forehead into mine, blue eyes closed as he inhaled deeply. "Don't be too hard on yourself okay?" He whispered once his eyes opened.

A chin hooked on my shoulder while Sachi nuzzled his face to my neck. "There's nothing wrong with you, you know. So what if you're always afraid and clingy towards us? There's nothing wrong with that in fact, Giyuu and I enjoy your attention and that's why… we may have been a little leery towards each other."

I snorted at his last statement, my cheeks starting to warm up from my giddiness. "A 'little' is such an understatement Sachi and we all know it."

"I know and… it's very unmanly."

"Yes," Somehow, I can picture the salmon haired boy blushing in admittance causing me to giggle a little. "It was _very_ unmanly."

Placing both my hands in their respective unruly hair, I started stroking them lovingly, not unlike how I would pet my pet cat a lifetime ago. "So, you guys are not gonna fight anymore?"

"We'll try."

"Just don't leave us just yet Zen-chan."

Hearing their heartbeats, I wasn't able to withhold the smile that showed my missing tooth, the occasional happy tears falling from my eyes that both older boys are quick to wipe away.

"I won't!"

Out of nowhere, strong arms pulled us together to a firm chest and from my position I could here Tengu-jiji's fierce protectiveness and happiness as he hugged the three of us.

"You three sure are troublesome."

At his exasperated tone, we all started laughing even Giyuu was chuckling here and there.

Looking at it, things really had change.

But I could only dearly hope that it would always be for the better.

* * *

I stared at the crow and the crow stared back at me.

"So… want some more berries ahhh…" _Come on, come on, an acceptable name for a damn crow._

"Kurotsuki-kun!" Yeah, good enough, could be better though. I've only ever called the black bird by 'Crow' all the time and can't be bothered before since I was still reeling that it can 'talk' part.

Talk and insult me to put it simply.

So yeah, we've been acquainted since I was one and yes, it was the same crow who creeped me out with its nodding when I nodded to it. Now that I thought of it, why the hell did I even bowed my head to the avian?

Must be the childish hormones kicking in that time. And it's not that I'm a bit off my rocker or anything.

No, I am not in denial, I am just a really respectful person in general that I even say goodbye to some of the very tame and not very dangerous (cuties!) animals I've met in both lives. I love animals when they don't try to bite, peck, scratch, chase or bark my ears off when I try to pet them.

Most of those animals happened to be birds.

I really miss Granny's pet snowy owl now, just thinking about that intelligent magnificent beautiful bird brings tears to my eyes. And I miss Near (my cat) just as much.

I wiped it off when I noticed that the avian was staring at me cautiously. He probably thinks that I would throw a tantrum if he doesn't agree.

"Very well, if you insist."

I gave him the wild berries on my hand with justified apprehension.

Can I just say just how polite he is and very regal when it comes to his mannerism, which by the way is hella weird to see such a human gesture on an avian.

"But if I must say Zenitsu-kun, you're only a few kanjis off to my real name."

I perked up at that. "Really? You have a name?"

The crow stopped his pecking and stared at me, and for some reason, he managed to give the vibe of someone giving a raised eyebrow or just generally giving the 'Are you an idiot?' look. It was pretty amazing for someone who lacks the ideal features to give that look.

But the fact still remains, it felt even more downgrading when an animal gives you that look than it does from other fellow humans.

"Of course I do, if I have none then it would be hard to distinguish me from my fellows." _Idiot._

Oh yeah, have I also mentioned that this particular crow can be both awfully polite and insulting at the same time? Well, if I hadn't then, there's that. The feathered animal does not insult people outright and does it in a polite roundabout way that makes it hard to show your insulted because he was being one polite son of a bitch.

I sniffed at him. "Yeah whatever, so what's your name?"

The crow somehow sighed and shrugged in a 'what can you do' manner. "My name is Kurotsuchi though introductions might be late, I would still say it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." And the newly renamed Kurotsuchi bowed more like bobbed his whole body.

It was kinda cute so I giggled.

(Man, I should learn how to withhold that if I'm posing as a boy and according to Sachi, "A true man does not giggle." But my experience with Daiki-ojiichan begs to differ.)

From my perch on the tree, I forgone the usual sixty-degree bow for a nod to avoid another falling incident. "It's nice to meet you Kurotsuchi-kun and it will also be my pleasure to be your acquaintance."

A breeze passed by and I inhaled the crisp smell of the forest. Mt. Sagiri is definitely a relaxing place to live in considering that it also serves as a training ground for the next Water Style users. If I focused enough, I could hear all the boys to where the waterfall is located, training away with vigor, swishing their practice swords in a slowly becoming familiar motion. Sometimes I would even join them if I'm up to it, so I know some of the basic movements in what I could only describe as a fluid dance, all grace and finesse that I still thoroughly lack with my uncooperative clumsy limbs. I guess suddenly shrinking down to midget size when I'm used to longer appendages does a big blow to my balance. But in no time, I would get that together with my old speed and stamina as a runner.

I would just need a whole lot of patience and… perseverance, the latter which I thoroughly lack together with my self-esteem.

I watched Kurotsuchi finish up the berries with an unsure smile. "Ahm… can I still call you Kurotsuki-kun though?" I asked cautiously, already making way for what I know was a rejection.

The crow tilted his head, mulling my words as his silvery eyes—the very reason for the 'tsuki' on the name that I gave him—stared at me unnervingly.

"I don't mind at all if you do, not one of my brethren have that name yet so I think the conditions will be fine."

My smile became wider. "Really?"

Kurotsuchi, or should I say Kurotsuki, sighed. "Yes, and I don't like repeating myself." He stretched his wings out and flapped it once then proceeded to bow. "If there's nothing else I would be taking my leave now, I still have a lot of messages to deliver."

"Okay, thanks for stopping bye. Visit again some other time, Kurotsuki-kun!"

With another nod, the dark bird took flight in the clear blue sky to the west with a fleeting 'caw!', leaving me alone on the thick branch.

I didn't stray my eyes from the tiny blot until it was completely gone from the distance. A pensive thought blooming in my mind as it finally came to me that this was the exact day that both Kaa-san and Daiki-ojiichan died. It still hurts when I think about them, but it wasn't as painful as it used to before and I know that in time it would all be an easy acceptance like how I came to fully acknowledge my reincarnation freakiness during my break down almost a year ago. Yuu's presence was really helpful in grounding me and so were the calming serene sounds that surround Sachi and Tengu-jiji. Water and tranquility do go hand in hand after all, and I have three of them surrounding me 24/7 so it was bound to have an effect.

_All I can do right now is move forward as what Sachi always say about being a true man. I hope you both approve of that for now, Kaa-san, Daiki-ojiichan._

"_Everything stays _

_But it still changes~_

_Ever so slightly, _

_Daily and nightly~ _

_In little ways _

_When everything stays…"_

* * *

**~3 years later~**

**Zenitsu age seven**

"Are you really sure about this Zen/Zen-chan?"

For the nth time that day, I sighed once again, giving them a dry stare.

"Yes, I'm quite sure about this." I lifted the crudely knitted bag that contains my meager belongings over my shoulder, pulling at the straps at the same time to make sure that it would hold for the long travel.

_Good enough._

A warm pale hand grabbed one of my shoulder. "If it's because we're paying less attention to you these days, we could make time for you." Yuu said seriously, mouth settled in a small frown.

"Un, we could always ask Urokodaki-san to just―"

"No."

"But, but Zen-chan." Sachi looked at me imploringly, lavender eyes confused. "I thought you wouldn't leave us?" If the salmon haired boy was one to pout, he probably would have by now.

The clear question of 'why?' was in them, his sound was troubled both of them actually, Yuu just doesn't express it outwardly like Sachi does. In Sachi's words, "Giyuu is a man of few words." And I couldn't agree more with that sentiment, Yuu's action speaks louder than he could say in words, words that can be misunderstood by most people.

What can I say, I'm very proficient when it comes to Giyuunese, Sachi and Tengu-jiji were close seconds. The fact that my hearing was far keener than a normal human that I was even able to decipher cryptic general thoughts and emotions helped me a lot when I was still getting around Yuu's even shorter word quota and frozen frowny face when the day everything went demon in a hellbasket.

I cupped his face with both hands. "I'm not leaving you guys, I'll be just in a different place from now on."

Tanned hands took hold of my own, they were warm, callused and so much bigger than mine, he threaded our fingers together and a smile unbiddenly appeared on my face when he squeezed them. I returned the reassuring gesture with my own.

"Yes, a different place where it's a week travel away on foot."

"Don't worry, I'll be traveling with a caravan of merchants; I won't be alone."

"That's not the point here Zen-chan! _You're_ away from us and that's the problem."

Yuu grunted, supporting his fellow trainee.

I sighed once again.

"No." I started calmly, trying really hard to blink away the tears. _You've already rehearsed this Sen, you wouldn't cry when you leave. Crying will just encourage them to not let you go._

"The point here is that I _am_ always with you guys. I need to leave for a bit so you guys would be able to focus more with your training."

"You are not a distraction Zen."

I turned around to meet Yuu in the eyes. "I know, and I know that you guys are doing your very best with what you and Sachi do, it's just that…" I stopped to take a deep breath, maybe if I inhaled deep enough my tears would be sucked back in to stop them from spilling, but I'm thankful that my voice still held on and didn't betray me.

"I want to stand up for myself too, and I wouldn't be able to do that with you two hovering over my shoulders everytime I want to do something. I just want to grow up, become useful, help my brothers for the future they hope to achieve."

I didn't let up when Yuu's brows furrowed and when I knew that Sachi was about to put his two cents from what I just said.

"Don't get me wrong, I know that it is dangerous, why do you both think I keep insisting that you two should reconsider a new job career? Why do you guys think I'm more fretful than usual when training is involved? It's because I'm scared for both of you. I'm scared that you would get hurt or more than get hurt. I'm scared that… both of you would one day disappear like Kaa-san and Daiki-ojiichan."

I wiped the tears that was threatening to fall from my cheeks. Their sound was unsettled and a bit guilty to what I'm implying. "That's why I'm doing this, I just want,"

Tears tumbled down my face and I felt a little betrayed that up until now I still can't control my crybaby tendencies, but through it all I gave a wobbly smile that conveyed my overall conviction and determination to go through with this. Grabbing each of their hand, I squeezed them tightly.

"I just want to protect the ones precious to me."

…

"You know, that's the manliest thing I've ever heard coming from you."

"You know what Sachi?"

"What is it Zen-chan?"

"Just shut up and hug us, you're clearly ruining the moment, remember, the moment? Here I thought, Yuu is the socially retarded one."

"Hn."

"…Shut up"

I really love these two dorks.

* * *

The old man with a pegged leg and a bushy mustache stared at me with wide dark eyes, for some reason that alludes me this old man seriously looked equally adorable and stern at the same time. It's an odd mix, yes, but if Daiki-ojiichan could be both bear-like and still as giggly as a schoolgirl I wouldn't put it pass that the clearly serious scarred former _Pillar_ to be eccentric in his own way.

Men I've interacted with so far in this life are all in the different sides of strange.

Tatay Ricky and his likes for dangerous life scarring amusement park rides.

Daiki-ojiichan and his schoolgirl side.

Yuu and his propensity for imitating an ice cube.

Sachi and his quest to being the manliest man to ever be the realest manliest manly man.

Tengu-jiji well… with his tengu masked self. So far that I've–me and the boys–ever seen from his face was his mouth and his complete pearly teeth. The only reason we were able to see that was because he slightly lifts up his mask when he's eating. Other attempts of unmasking him on someway were all utter flops.

(My own biological half-life donor was a whole other thing, a whole new being from the kingdom of assholes. I wouldn't be surprised if he's somehow related to ROA in some way.)

And this old man, one Kuwajima Jigoro to be exact, that sounded like the open skies with light thunderstorms, he also has the distinct sound of gentleness, the note that I had often heard from Kaa-san as well. He's a good man, that I can confirm, with Tengu-jiji's nodding approval to boot and that he could smell _emotions_ and _intent_ is an affirmation to this.

I can now proudly say that I have mastered the different ranges and frequencies of emotions, I'm currently working on the intent of other people, Yuu also suggested that it would be even better if I were able to hear other people's thoughts clearer. Not that I want to become an intrusive mind reader, but I think that ability is useful in the long run if I really want to help my stubborn brothers with their goal. The sensing and recognizing apart animals and people from one another were a skill that I had always been able to do naturally and with Tengu-jiji's help, I am now able to walk even without my vision.

Now, the stuff that I have to work on for me to avoid damage whenever I'm pretending to be blind is my balance and coordination.

It's not clumsiness I swear! It's just that everything was a great deal shorter than my old reach, but seeing that I'm taller than the average girl my age, the fear of not growing anywhere near my old height is out of the question. I was taller than most girls back then, pretty slim, with hands that were perfect for playing the piano, dark haired like your typical Asian girl with even darker wide eyes. I pretty much resembled Mama, except for the higher cheekbones and sharper jawline.

"It's nice to meet you Sir, thank you for agreeing in taking me in." I smiled to Kuwajima-san, who gave a grandfatherly smile in return.

My guess was right, he _is_ cute.

He chuckled and waved away his free hand not holding his cane. "What a polite young one you are, Sakonji have told me many great things about you." Then he patted my head, ruffling my precious skull cap a tiny bit to the left. "But he surely didn't mention you being such a cute one."

I felt my face heat up all the way down to my neck and to the tips of my ears, but that heat doesn't compare the warmth in my chest and the one that was gradually building up behind my watering eyes.

_Tengu-jiji! Sachi! Yuu! I miss them all already._

I inhaled through my nose and held it in after giving a meek stuttering thank you from me.

As if sensing my turmoil, the old man moved in for a hug that I didn't bother to dodge, stopping my attempt to keep it all in.

"Let it all out."

And I did as I was told.

"I miss them already."

"I know." He started rubbing my back in circles making me remember Tengu-jiji when he was consoling me, making me cry harder.

"I-I want, I want to go back."

"I know."

"But I won't because I-I have to s-stay strong, f-for those lovely d-dorks. My l-lovely dorks."

A rough hand lifted my chin up, making me looking at Kuwajima-san's dark warm eyes filled with understanding. A rumbling thunder made for calming echoed in my ears.

"You child," He smiled that grandfatherly smile once again. "have one of the kindest hearts, so strong and brave for someone so young."

I sniffed pathetically. "T-that's not true! I-I'm weak, selfish and a coward. Whatever gave you that idea Jii-chan!"

Kuwajima-san, or Jii-chan, seemed slightly surprised by my new address to him but he only blinked and took it in stride.

"Sakonji was right." Then he proceeded to flick my forehead.

"Ow!"

"Don't think of yourself as that because that's none of what I see right now. Are you calling me a liar?!" The old man lifted his cane in the air and I could only shake my head furiously because I was still in his hold.

_As expected, he's strong for an old man._

"Good. Now listen to what I'm about to say. Sakonji warned me about the way how you look at yourself and how him and your brothers have already tried to stomp on it but just won't die for some reason."

Jii-chan grabbed at my shoulders, his face was serious but lacked any anger that I thought would be present.

"Zenitsu, no, _Senritsu_. You are not weak, because if you are, then you wouldn't be willing to be here, with me and out of your comfort. And so what if you're selfish! I, myself am selfish for asking you to become my student when you've already got Sakonji to teach you. There's nothing wrong for wanting something for yourself even though I see your decision as something selfless, making the decision to go away to learn how to protect the ones you love, that sounds selfless to me."

My tears kept falling without my permission, though thankfully I managed to keep the snot and the gross stuff at bay.

"Even if you don't see it yourself, you girl, are very brave. Being brave does not mean that you do not fear anything. Being brave is about facing that fear, admitting that you are weak and overcoming it." A warm hand shuffled my skull cap once again, messing it up and letting some of the longer strands free. I stared at the old man; his eyes closed as he smiled from ear to ear.

"And what you are doing now is nothing short of bravery."

I hiccupped, feeling completely warm and comfortable in the embrace of a person that without a doubt would become someone precious to me. I've always feared the thunder, came to dislike thunderstorm as a person who does not like being surprised with sudden loud sounds. But hearing it closely right now, with my cheek pressed to the former pillar's chest, I could all but melt at the calming buzz that occasionally comes with the loud rumble.

_This man is too sweet and genuine for words, now my tears won't stop and soon my snot would follow._

I'm starting to think of him as someone important already, with only 10 minutes of meeting each other, another grandfather figure. Maybe my life from the other world is making up the lack of male influence in my life (the only male influence I had was Tatay Ricky) by bombarding me with cuddly old men in this life.

Not that I'm complaining.

"Jii-chan, I think we're gonna get along just fine."

He laughed, roaring and impossibly cute. "Of course we will." He said between chuckles.

After a few seconds, he sobered up. Looking as serious as the first time I saw him, gaze firm, gray bushy brows drawn together. "I promise you; I will never give up on you even if you've given up on yourself. We will make your plan to help your brothers a reality, so I expect great results from my newest disciple. Understood?"

The wind decided to pick up at this moment and the grass blades danced alongside it, the sun was slowly coming down in the horizon, painting the sky with multitudes of color, the red meeting the darkening sky in a very picturesque way that a photographer would deem magnificent to capture. The small village at the foot of the hill was quiet, devoid of the chatter that it had earlier when I first came here and because of my sharp ears, I could make out the families dining together in the comfort of their home, lively and warm.

Home. A word that made me think of cabin in a mountain, surrounded by a forest of bamboos. An old man with a red mask and two boys with opposing personalities. Calm waters, tranquil ocean and blessed rain. My home that is currently a week away. My home that I won't be in for a long time.

_I miss them._

It was a dramatic scene straight out of a movie film and right now and I'm supposed to be the MC who's all about agreeing to their mentor and get a move on to the training montage to get stronger to fulfill their goal.

Some other time I would have cared to the clichéness of the setup but right now, I could care less because this feels like a monumental moment of my life. Another life changing event that would completely change my way of living from now on. It was a dangerous one, sure to be filled with grief and horror.

A hard life.

(_But since when did I had an easy one?_)

A difficult life that could even end in my early demise.

(_Not that it would be the first. I already died at 15._)

I cleaned up my face as much as I can with the tears now only present in my eyes. After the thorough snot removal, I gave him a firm nod, hoping that it could show how determined I am. With a voice that did not waver and a near perfect ninety-degree bow, I told him my answer.

"I understand, I'll do my best as your disciple Jii-chan!"

The wind howled and I shivered.

* * *

**A/N: I know that it has been a while, but here it is. Finished at long last. Don't expect fast updates from me because college is being a meanie butt to me. The exams just ended and I'm supposed to be sleeping right now.**

**Expect further timeskips and thank you for those who have reviewed, my stress levels had gone down slightly because of you.**

**Hope you guys like this one even though it's a bit shorter than the others. It's a good 6k though.**

**~Taisho Secret~**

**This fic was first posted two days before my birthday (September 23) as a birthday gift for ****myself. Me and Zenitsu are September babies! Sorry to those who misunderstood.**


	8. Feel the Thunder

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 07: Feel the Thunder**

**Warning: Not edited, possible wrong grammars and such**

* * *

_Dear everyone,_

_First and for most, I MISS ALL OF YOU! But anyways, I've been getting along with Kuwajima-san, I mean Jii-chan, just fine. He's really nice as you say he would be Tengu-jiji but don't you worry, your still one of my favorite old men. Jii-chan is also a spartan master, I can't believe he made me run five times around the village and back to the house (it was on a hill mind you) with blindfold on. I blame you Tengu-jiji for this. You gave him this idea didn't you?!_

_How are you all doing? The training, how's it going? Did you both got the total breathing concentration thing? Last time I was there you guys are struggling with that for almost a week. Are you boys still arguing? I dearly hope not because if you guys are arguing I will not visit you both the next month. Seriously, stop arguing, its pointless either way. I miss you all! Heck I even miss your arguments no matter how troublesome they are. Sorry about the tearstains ha, I just get really teary eyed and this is my 27__th__? 30__th__ time? I don't really know, I've lost count. Just know that I've rewritten this letter so many times that Jii-chan complained about me using all up the precious paper._

_Not that he's wrong. I think this is the last one or he might be hiding the others in some place._

_Going off topic here; did you boys at least granted my request not to take the test yet? Oh I know that you probably did, knowing Sachi's code of honor and that Yuu always keeps his promises. Twelve is just too young to be battling man-eating monsters no matter how skilled you guys are, so you both better listen to me and Tengu-jiji and stop pouting. You guys can take it when you're way older, like way, way older but not too old because you'd be grandpa's then. Just… just not now okay? I'd get an early heart attack just thinking about all this._

_Did I mention that I miss you all and love you? If I haven't then I'm saying, well writing now, that I miss you all and love ya. I just really, really, really miss you boys. It's a little lonely here but I got Jii-chan as company. _

_Oh and I've met this man, he's really huge, he reminds me a little of Daiki-ojiichan though he's taller and skinnier, but he's really kind, like super kind. He lives in a mountain with the other eight children he took in, the temple was a bit away from where Jii-chan's hut is but I uh, discovered it when I… kinda ran away from Jii-chan?_

_Yes, yes! I know that I probably shouldn't have done that because there's a lot of dangers in the world and my luck is really the worst and I thought for a moment that I need to take a break from everything and I was really messed up and stressed out. I know that doesn't justify it but, but, I just missed you guys so much and there's the training thing. You all know what my reaction to things that I don't like right? Running away just seemed to be the greatest option. What can I say, I'm a coward okay?_

_His name is Himejima Gyoumei. Mei-nii is a gentle giant and he cries more often than I do! His really religious and he's training to become a monk, fits him really. Why can't you both do a job that's not dangerous like that? I've made friends of the other kids in his care though there's this obnoxious kid. His name is Kaigaku. It's always his way or the high way, really makes me wanna hit him and he bullies Sato-kun and Sayo-chan a lot but for some reason he thinks I'm really cool. Probably because of Jii-chan but whatever, he doesn't feel genuine for the most part but I think he really wants to be friends with me._

_Anyways, this getting really long and I'm running out of paper, I would have love to write more but since this is the last paper, I don't really have a choice. Write back okay? Oh yeah, I miss you all and love ya! Don't ever forget that. By the way the crow carrying this letter is a friend of mine, his name is Kurotsuchi but I renamed Kurotsuki so call him whatever between those two. Don't freak out much about him talking okay? He's nice but politely sarcastic sometimes. Give him berries or nuts for his service, alright? He already did me a favor by taking this letter to you guys since I begged so nicely. It's much faster this way than letting a merchant deliver it to you guys and it's mostly free. I would be able to send these letters twice a month, thrice if Kurotsuki-kun's flight location matches. He's a really busy crow with important things to do but he's really nice for delivering this. Miss you and love y'all!_

_ I really miss you guys,_

_ Zen_

* * *

"I don't understand it Jii-chan, Kurotsuki-kun! Why won't they believe us?! It's unfair! Why would they, why would they kill Mei-nii when all he did was protect me and the other kids?! T-That's…" I sniffled, holding back the snot that's steadily dribbling down my nose while tears leaked from my eye sockets like twin waterfalls.

I am frustrated.

Frustration is me.

It's just sooo unfair. Too fucking unfair.

All he did was protect us from the, the _demon_ who was aiming to eat all of us! Why should he be sentenced to death?! That doesn't make any fucking sense! And why the hell won't they believe me about the monster when it's obvious that the children's (fuck they were so young, too young) bodies are missing some organs. What?! It magically disappeared or some shit?! Can't they see that Mei-nii is also grieving, hurting and blaming himself for not being able to protect all of us?!

Don't they know that it's wrong to sentence someone based on guesses and assumption's alone? Is there even a fucking trial?!

This is ROB's, ROA's and ROBi's fault! Probably Fate too because she's the one assigned in the destiny crap.

_It's not fair! Not fair at all!_

I held on tightly to the warm body enveloping me even further, burrowing my face into his jinbei kimono. "It's unfair! So unfair!"

A warm hand rubbed my back, consoling and reassuring, but the old man doing the action was also angry and frustrated with the situation. The roar of a thunder rang in my ears. "Don't cry Zenitsu. We'll find a way to get him out of that unjustified sentence."

I looked up at him, his dark eyes filled with determination and a promise. His gaze fell on the black bird who's been quietly observing us for a while, a gleam of brilliant realization entered Jii-chan's eyes.

"Best not to weep Zenitsu-kun. Humans are arguably narrow-minded creatures. They won't believe something unless they've seen it for themselves. Aside from that, humans don't like having their glass of normality shaken, that's why they would refuse your arguably fine logical points, rationalize it to simple childish nonsensical imagination."

And if a bird could smirk, Kurotsuki did just that.

"And I think I would be able to be of assistance in this blunder."

"I better start writing the letter then." Jii-chan was about to get up from our position on the floor when I caught his sleeve.

"What's going on? Who you gonna write a letter to? What's it for? Will it really help Mei-nii out of the situation?"

Jii-chan placed his hand over my head wrap, patting it like I'm some adorable (not that I'm adorable, it's just a metaphor) puppy, a reassuring smile taking over his face.

"I'm going to write a letter to Oyakata-sama, he might be able to help with our problem and get Himejima-kun out of his sentence. Kurotsuchi-san right here would be helping us deliver the letter to him."

"Wait, who's this 'Oyakata-sama' person? And would he really help Mei-nii out of this? And what's Kurotsuki-kun in all of this?"

Jii-chan wiped away the remaining tears in my eyes with a handkerchief, cleaning up my nose too in the process.

"Oyakata-sama is the commander of the Demon Slayer Corps and I think he would help us once he learns of this. He might even think of integrating Himejima-kun if Himejima-kun wants to become a demon slayer. He's an intelligent kind young man and I know that he wouldn't turn down this favor when it involves an innocent man who fought off a demon to defend himself and others."

"And I, Senko Kurotsuchi will deliver the message to Oyakata-sama as I am one of his personal kasugaigarasu. It would be of no issue."

"Wait?! Commander?! Personal kasugaigarasu?!"

Jii-chan sounded surprised at my last exclamation, surprised that I don't even know what type or what kind of avian my friend really was.

Kurotsuki just sighed at this.

Well, in my defense, he never told me what exactly is he so being a reincarnated soul in a different universe in bumfuck ancient Japan, I assumed that he was a different species altogether that didn't exist in my last life. Pretty simple right?

"Zenitsu-kun, what we are called are Kasugaigarasu. A special type and breed of birds, selected for our intelligence and our major function in the corps are mainly for communication. We defer to Oyakata-sama, who is the leader of the Demon Slayer Corps."

"Mn. That's right, Kurotsuchi-san here would help us get the letter to Oyakata-sama and then help Himejima-kun in his predicament."

"T-Then Mei-nii would be free and not die?"

"Mn. Your Mei-nii would be free and not die."

"Really, really not d-die?"

"Really, really not die."

Hope bloomed inside of me and I can't help the smile that erupted on my face as my eyes watered once again, not from sadness but from plain happiness that I wasn't able to contain inside of me.

I tackle hugged the old man bringing us both down, wrapping my gangly limbs in his torso sobbing in relief.

"I-I LOVE YOU JII-CHAN! YOU'RE THE BEST!" I turned my head and gave the crow a grateful watery smile. "A-AND THANK YOU KUROTSUKI-KUN! YOU'RE THE BEST TOO!" The crow flapped his wings and turned around. I could tell from his sound that he was embarrassed but pleased.

Jii-chan chuckled and raffled my covered head, a pleased blush on his face. "Now, now, as much as I want to remain on the floor being cuddled by my cute disciple, I still need to write the letter and as soon as that's done Himejima-kun will be free."

I looked up at him with imploring eyes. "Can I also write a letter to O-Oyakata-sama? I-I want to tell him something."

Jii-chan glanced over where I knew that Kurotsuki was perched and looked back at me.

"Of course. Now, let's untangle ourselves and start writing."

"Mn!"

"And your paper limit is up to five, we can't have you using up all our supply again!"

"I-I'll try!"

"Don't just try, _do_."

"O-Of course, Jii-chan."

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Shihan not Jii-chan!" He raised his cane above his head and bopped me with it.

I just smiled widely and used his one weakness. "Love ya too Jii-chan!"

_Oh my God! He blushed again, that's just cute! Nailed it!_

"Love you too Senritsu."

* * *

I, Agatsuma Senritsu (or Zenitsu at the moment) is now ten and is facing a huge problem.

_Today's the day._

"I t-think I'm going for a run." I said rather mechanically, my mind racing a mile a second with all the worst possible scenarios that could immediately happen this week.

_Oh God, oh God, please all the Music Gods and all the Gods above out there even ROA or whoever, please keep them safe. Keep them absolutely safe, t-they could have injuries but just let them live, please let them live._

"Alright Zenitsu, just try to relax, try not to faint and be home before dinner. Inform Kaigaku on your way that I won't tolerate him skipping more of the training! Seriously, that boy." The old man proceeds to grumble about a missing rope.

Which I ignored because I was too preoccupied with my thoughts.

"Okay, I'll be going now."

I readjusted the sandals (something that I made rather than buying it for a hefty price, because this is ancient Japan and running shoes won't be invented any sooner) on my feet and retied my skull cap before sliding the door open and then closing it behind me with _clack_.

I focused on regulating my breathing, making sure that I wouldn't be hyperventilating anytime soon and then pass out from overthinking. But for all that I'm worrying as all hell right now and panicking somewhere screaming murder in the recesses of my mind, I was proud to say that the outward sign of all of my emotions was my paler than usual skin, clamminess and my slightly watering eyes.

Unfortunately, I still haven't moved pass my crybabiness.

It's all my damn genetic and has nothing to do with my psyche okay. It's all genetics.

Right now, I'm trying to calm myself and stop worrying about them.

_OhGodwhatifSachididsomethingstupidandYuujuststartedgoingalongwithitbecausethey'rebothstupidand__—_

I slapped myself soundly, focusing on my breathing and straying my mind away from the possible worst -case scenarios happening at Sachi's and Yuu's exam that could all end in their possible deaths. Which, I dearly hope that that's not the case because I might just follow them to the grave from grief.

It's a possibility. A great possibility.

I closed my eyes, letting the wind rustle my bangs and the grass tickle my ankles. It's peaceful here and after three years of spending my time in this quaint little village that's nestled between grass hills, I could say that it had become home for me as much as Mt. Sagiri was. The people were nice enough with some bullies here and there but otherwise it was a nice village.

And oh, no one has figured out that I'm a girl masquerading as a boy. Yet.

Well, except for Jii-chan, Mei-nii (who identified me after the first meeting) and Kaigaku (who has figured it out when he barged in on me while I was taking a bath). Kaigaku's living alongside with us now after the incident that happened six months ago. And like what Jii-chan said, Mei-nii managed to get out of his death sentence and is now working as a demon slayer, he visits sometimes when he had the chance or his mission is right around the corner but he never spoke anything about his work when he does visit. And for some reason, he was avoiding Kaigaku and only visits when the boy was out.

Kaigaku never asks about him either and I have a feeling that the two are not in talking terms since that night when everything went wrong.

But, other than that, Kaigaku was still the same. His opinion was still mostly the same about me but he got it onto his head that since he was the stronger pupil (considering we were biologically different and he's older than me by two years) that he was decidedly the senpai and the one to inherit Jii-chan's title. Disregarding that I was the first one to be under the old man's wing.

Not that I mind him having the title but Jii-chan insists on us sharing it together as his successor. But, there's a problem with that too, I only ever managed to master the first style of thunder breathing and Kaigaku was catching up and is now onto the fifth style out of six styles.

(But the boy never managed to get the hang of the first style much to his annoyance.)

I've told the old man a ton of time that I don't mind Kaigaku getting the mantle but Jii-chan is one stubborn old fart.

Always believing in what could only be a hopeless case, because come on! I only managed to do the first style which was the easiest one out of all of them! I really am such a pathetic loser.

I let out a sigh, and I heard before I saw him. Kaigaku was currently lounging at his all time favorite tree, which is a peach tree by the way, looking smug as he chews on one of those sweet, sweet pink gift of the Gods (and yes they are my favorites and no, I am not talking about you ROB, ROBi or ROA, you three are too psychotic to invent such a wonderful creation)

"And what do you want _kohai-kun_?"

_I'm too stressed and negative to put up with this bullshit right now_.

"Jii-chan is looking for you _Senpai_, he says it's urgent and has something to do with his missing ropes. He says when he sees it on your neck again, he will use it for strangling you and also, your fashion sense is awful. Why not try a dyed string either blue or the same color as your eyes, maybe add a little charm to go with it but that's just me. That's all and I'll be going. Happy dinner."

Without further ado, I turned my back on him, not completely missing his skin turning pale to red and his heart rate picking up from both panic and anger.

I'm not dealing with his shit right now when I am already dealing with my mental shit. So I did the best thing I knew that would distract me.

"Come back here, Zenitsu!"

I concentrated on my breathing and ran.

* * *

"Oh thank the Music Gods above, thank you, thank you, thank you, I'm so _glad_ that you're both safe! I almost had an early stroke in my worry because of you two! But I'm so glad you both are safe! Oh I'm so happy that you both decided not to unalive on me! But thank the Gods you aren't because I would be totally sad and die from grief and throttle you both in our unalive life!"

Or if I can even _have _an unalive life.

Three arms circled around me as tears sprung from my eyes, thanking every deity that both of my idiotic brothers are both alive, no matter how the other ended with only half of a pair of arms in the process.

I rather like them alive no matter how there's one limb missing.

One boy for each shoulder, Yuu on the right, Sachi on the other.

My right shoulder is starting to get wet, the position the boys sunk themselves into isn't the most comfortable of all hugs but I can bear with that arrangement. Happy to just have them as close as possible after the ordeal. Just grateful that I can have them this close, a reassurance that I haven't lost another precious person.

"I-I'm sorry, I failed Zen-chan, I l-lost and now I'm a―" The boy choked on his words, the rain not present, just a cloudy sky that was silently abating a rainstorm.

"N-no it's my fault, I was a burden, I wasn't able to protect you and only if I hadn't―"

"Shhhh…. The both of you, s-shut up and it's nobody's fault and if anything, it's that stupid _demon's_ fault for existing. You both did your best a-and you both came out alive, t-that's all that matters. That's all I _want_ to matter."

* * *

If I have my ways these two should be wrapped up in the softest blankets and hidden in the confines of the safest basement to be ever built and stay there until they're both wrinkly and senile.

But alas, that's never meant to be.

Stubborn idiots will be stubborn idiots.

Damn, I guess I need to step up my game if I want to keep my precious alive while also being alive.

To start with that, I need to have all the thunder breathing forms down and even after three years I was still unable to do them except the first.

Maybe I should take Jii-chan's suggestion to make my own style, something that suited me, a style that plays with my strength and covers my weaknesses, something that I could base off of the two styles I'm familiar with; water style and thunder style. I'm capable of doing a halfass water style but it just doesn't _feel_ right and according to them (Tengu-jiji, Jii-chan and Mei-nii) using the style should feel natural. Using the thunder style felt natural but I have trouble at execution. I've practiced the first form countless of times and tried to do the others but it just falls away everytime.

It's, it's frustrating. I could compare it to using somebody else's pillow, it's comfortable enough but it just doesn't feel right because it isn't mine.

_Arghhhhhhh! If I want to protect them, I would need to learn the best way that I can and I can't do it like this!_

All fluid, graceful, fast and destructive. A combination of these maybe. I can play up my speed, agility, flexibility and my passable strength, these categories that I'm fairly confident – that all came from my precious people's supported that I was doing great at and they had repeatedly drilled in me to take pride and confidence in and I reluctantly did so to just stop them from pestering me with words and head swats – mostly the head swats – in that Kaigaku grudgingly admits that I'm superior than him.

Though he still holds the fact that he was 'older' than me.

If only he knew that I'm currently 25 seeing the 10 years that have passed in this second try at stumbling through life.

If only he knew.

(He's growing up to a misogynistic asshole and I would need to rectify that. He's slowly reminding me of my now blurry faced sperm donor at his 'my way or the high way' attitude he had going on and if I see another smug smirk that accompanies a gender insensitive comment I will just punch him in the face and probably kick him in the gonads. Jii-chan would lecture me about it but he would understand, he's already trying his best to nip that in the bud so who am I to not give him my assistance?)

I should consult both of the ex-pillars about this.

I'll be needing all the help that I can get.

* * *

"Zenitsu! I know you're in there so come out now!"

I held my breath and willed my heart to settle down, what if he hears me with all the thumping it's been doing? I don't want none of that.

_All right stay calm he cannot possibl__―_ "GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHKKK!"

_Goddamnit, give me a fucking break._

"J-J-Jii-chan p-p-please! I need a break! I need a break! I-I can't do it either way!"

"No!" The old man tightened his hold at the scruff of my neck, easily lifting me off above the ground and he forced our eyes to lock in place.

"We are going to go back and train! We haven't even started today's training yet and you're already asking a break?! You're going to have a break when you're all drench up in sweat and possibly feel like you're dying."

"But Jii-chan― _Urrrrrrrkkk! You're choking m-me! Y-You're choking me! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!"_ Damn, if I'm not gonna die by training, I'm gonna die by being choked to death.

Damn strong old men and their spartan training.

"You won't be choking if you just come down right now! Stop," The tug on the rope got stronger making me wheeze. "resisting Zenitsu! I thought you wanted to become strong, we won't be making progress if you don't train!"

With another tug and the lack of oxygen supply, my grip from the branch loosened and I came barreling downwards to the awaiting arms of the old man.

Like the little bitch that I am, I started bawling my eyes out.

"Jiiiii-chaaaaaannnn! I can't take it anymore! I-I'm never gonna be g-good at it! I-I'm such a failure!"

I tried to cover up my face with my sleeves, wiping away my snot and tears, sitting there in a slump like the pathetic person that I am.

After two weeks of very harsh training – way, way harsher than before – with no result of me improving and developing anything. With that, my motivation started dwindling in a rapid rate and my sense of self worth and self-esteem taking a plunge dive into the gutter.

I'm just no good okay.

"Oh Zen," A warm hand started patting my head, the rumbling thunder tender and lulling. "No matter what you think, you are not a failure."

"But I still can't do it! I'm just, I'm just wasting your time! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, maybe I should just give up…"

"_Haha! You think you're some hot shit because you're good with music? Well tough shit brat, that ain't special, a lot of other people can already do that, what good are your stupid talent for if everybody else can do that shit? Whatever the fuck makes you think you're special? Fucking stupid no-good little bitch!"_

"I'm just a no good after all." Maybe my deadbeat sperm donor from before was right, I'm no good at anything. Why the hell am I even trying?

_THONK!_

"OW! JII-CHAN, WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"That's for not listening to me!" He huffed through his nose ruffling his bushy mustache, eyes hard before softening at my pitiful whimper.

"Jii-chan,"

"Ah, ah, ah. You are going to shut up and listen to me child or I'm going to hit you again!"

"But you― youch!" I grabbed the top of my head where the stern old man had hit me with his walking stick, patting it for any sign of a bump.

Sad to say, there is one.

Maybe I should keep my trap shut for now to avoid more bumps from appearing.

"Sheesh, for all your superior sense of hearing you kid sure don't listen." He sighed, long and hard. Wide dark eyes looking up at the bright blue sky as if asking why he got saddled with someone like me.

Jii-chan crouched down to my level, face open with eyes asking me to listen and understand, calloused hands grabbing my shoulders.

"You, Senritsu, are not a failure nor a no-good, how many times do we have to tell you that? Whoever gave you that idea?" He inquired, hoping for an answer to one of the questions that I evade most of the time when asked.

I can't just answer that it came from my last old man from another world. "From some that I used to know and all the other kids and some adults in my village."

A roar of thunder and the sound anger hit my ears, making me freeze as the hands holding my shoulders tightened and the wide eyes sharpened in a way that reminded me that this old man used to be a hunter. A seasoned alpha hunter.

I curled into myself, trying to make myself seem smaller at the face of it, hoping that he wouldn't notice me despite me being already in his grasp.

"J-J-J-Jii-chan?"

His eyes cleared and soften, his hold became more reassuring rather than frightening turning into the bear hugs of all bear hugs. The thunder rumbles on, hiding the storm of lightning brewing inside of him.

"No matter, don't listen to them. Don't listen to the words of people who know nothing about you. Listen to the words of someone who knows and someone who cares. They're just idiots who don't know what they're talking about. _We_ believe in you Senritsu, more than anything. You might not hold faith within yourself but _we_ do, because we know what you're capable of, we know what you'll be able to achieve."

Calloused hands cupped my face, wiping away the tears that can't seem to stop falling.

"It's alright to cry or to run away. Just don't ever give up. Believe in yourself just as how we believe in you! You've endured for a long time and endured my hellish training. Soon you'll be rewarded for that that I'm certain of. Work to forge yourself like a tempered blade, become the most resilient of all and focus on what you do best. I will say this again in case it's still not clear for you."

His eyes shone with faith and honesty as a grandfatherly smile stretched wide on his lips, the scar on his left cheek creasing with the action.

"I believe in you Senritsu!"

I can't express how stunned I am except for the increase of waterworks and unintelligible stutters of 'I love you Jii-chans' and 'I'll do my bests'.

"Come now, haha. Clean your face up and let's start training."

"I-I'LL DO MY BEST!"

"Haha! That's the spirit! Now give me fifty laps around the village for wasting our time!"

"Mou~ Jii-chan!"

"What?! You want sixty!"

"N-No, no! I'm just about to run, see you later Jii-chan!"

* * *

The stars are really pretty aren't they?

Lightyears away yet their light would still be visible to the naked eye and even if they were already dead at some point their light would still remain for quite some time. Shining, glittering in a canvas of darkness. Just a stationary ball of flaming gas but still manages to make it seem more magnificent even though it was just that, a stationary ball of flaming gas, constantly burning until it uses up all its gas and explodes. So flashy even in its death.

The sun is a star.

And on itself, it will blow up some day. Not now, but in the far away future.

The night breeze carried the sound of the sleeping forest that surrounded the foot of the mountain, the only ones up is me and the nocturnal woodland creatures that inhabit it.

Sachi too, it looks like he had given up on sleeping at the moment and was now making his way to me. His footsteps were silent as he can make it with the creaky floorboards, his steps were slightly different from before, not at all as balanced with the loss of a limb in consideration.

The screen door open and closed behind me with a soft _clack clack_, tabi socks padding close to me until he had placed himself on my left, (away from the swaying sleeve that no longer hold his left arm, the only that remained there was his upper arm, a few inches from his now missing elbow) sitting as close as possible to share warmth.

"Can't sleep?" An arm wrapped around me – as opposed to two – bringing me closer to him, effectively warding off the chill that was slowly creeping up on me despite the blanket draped on my shoulders.

"Slightly. I was just thinking." I took off the blanket and draped it on to the both of us, the warmth making me slightly drowsy.

"Wanna share what is it?"

"It's about you."

A pause. "Oh, and what about me?"

"I was just thinking how I don't want to hear you sad anymore and don't deny it because I can clearly hear you are in pain."

Sachi chuckles, it was out of surprise and I can hear the distinct sound of bitterness. "I can't really hide anything from those ears of yours can't I?"

"I don't need my ears to tell that much, your eyes were a clue enough."

Another breeze passed through, ruffling our hair, the dark and rosy strands dancing against each other. And Sachi used his warm hands to card through my now waist length hair, undoing some knots and making it settle right.

"You can cry you know, I wouldn't mind. _We_ wouldn't mind. Heck, I cry almost on a daily basis at this point."

The fingers combing my hair stills and the body beside me shudders not at all from the chilly wind that blew once again.

A head drops on my shoulder with a watery snort, then I was suddenly being cradled on the teen's lap. In another time I would have lit up like a red Christmas light but I couldn't really manage that right now.

I brought my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me, combing through his peach colored hair.

"You know, it's okay to be weak sometimes, you don't always have to be strong. That's why we're here Sabito, we're your family, we'll be the strength that you would need, we'll be anything that you need us to be, so you don't have to face this alone okay? Everything might feel like it has fallen apart but always remember that you have us to support you every step of the way."

After a while, rain started to fall.

A soft whisper, sounding wet and garbled. "C-can you sing for me Sen-chan?"

(The rain pours in waves of sadness, grief, disappointment, anguish and relief.)

I couldn't help but smile as I hummed a cherished tune, arguably I haven't sung it in a while and for the last two verses I decided to accompany it with the lyrics, for me, it always seemed lacking without it.

(But it will always be lacking, the one who've always sung it for me was gone and the only one who'll carry the lilting gentle tones from now on is my own voice.)

* * *

"_I will think of our song_

_when the nights are too long_

_I'll dream of you, for that's where I belong_

_Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?_

_Only in my dreams do we meet again"_

* * *

_Just focus, just keep the breath flowing and__―_

A hand rubbed my back as I helpless cough my lungs out. Goddamn, that fucking hurts. I feel like my lungs wants to break out of ribs and my diaphragm was trying to push itself up to my fucking lungs.

I never knew that I would say this but, _breathing is fucking hard_, who knew that a natural occurrence could be this hard, that something you needed in order to live could be so _difficult_.

Tears leaked through my eyes and saliva dribbled down my chin. I can hear my blood rushing through my ears, pulse pulsating rapidly as if I'd ran a marathon as opposed to my seated self. My vision was swaying from side to side, a little blurred with black spots in between and then I was lurching forward to the tatami floor.

Hands caught my shoulders before I completely faceplant in an ungraceful way.

"Don't push it too much Zenitsu. How about a break for now and let's continue this later." Said someone with a gravely baritone voice, right, I was training with Jii-chan aren't I?

I clutched at the sleeves of his brown jinbei kimono, tugging at it with shaking hands, gasping loudly to try and keep my lungs to just not _burn_.

_Fuck._

"N-no, n-n-n-need to be s-s-s-strong. P-P-Protect e-e-e-everyone." _Shit, even talking is hard._

Okay, no more gasping. Hold it in one, two, three. Let it out one, two, three and repeat.

"Zenitsu, I understand that want to become strong and I love how determined and dedicated you are. But you can't push yourself too much like this. It might do more harm than good and I don't want my favorite granddaughter to injure herself."

I let out a strangled snort – and that was a bad idea, damn I want to breathe normally again – wiping the drool with my burnt yellow to orange yukata.

"B-But I'm your only granddaughter. That means I'm also y-your least favorite."

"Zenitsu! We both know that's not what I meant! Now listen to me and rest."

"Okay Gramps, if that's what you… zzzzZZZ…"

"Good grief, this child."

* * *

"Jii-chan! What do you think of that move?! A-Ah Jii-chan? Jii-chan? JII-CHAN WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!"

Panicking at the sudden teary eyes I immediately threw away my practice sword and ran uphill to gather the old man in my arms. Rumbling laughter came out of him as he hugged me back, a pleased roiling sound burst in his heart, loud, happy and field with… pride?

He took me by my shoulders and stepped back, tears still leaking in his dark brown eyes but a large grin conveyed that it was not one of sadness. The rhythmic _th-thump th-thump_ of his heart was also a dead giveaway.

It all boiled down and confused me further.

"Oh Zen! Zen you make me so, so proud!"

_E-Ehhh?!_

"E-Ehhh?!"

The old man hugged me again with another watery laugh, tucking my head under his chin as I tried to register what that even meant. Then he proceeded to lift me off the ground and spin me around like an elated strong old man that was proud of his grandchild.

And in turn I clung to his arms like a panicking wuss, mind still reeling from his words and when my slow brain finally caught up to it, I proceeded to cry like an overgrown baby.

"That was amazing Zen! I knew that you can do it! I knew that you had it in you! Hahahahaha!"

Once he placed my ten toes on the ground I lurched forward, tackling him to the ground with a garbled screech.

I never knew that I could get to this point in life where someone I look up to and think of as a grandfather/father would say that he was proud of me. Don't get me wrong my Mama, Granny, Tatay Ricky, Kaa-san and Daiki-ojiichan dish out compliments. And the Mei-nii, water boys and Tengu-jiji are not short of it either.

Compliments and the likes are hard to come by for me.

Alright, maybe not so much, because in the last go I was often praised for my music, the teachers, my fellow students and the audience.

I am shamefully not shameful to call myself a Praise Whore. What else could I be? It just feels really nice to hear people talk about you in a positive light.

And it's a whole different thing when it comes from someone I consider my family and someone I idolize.

"R-Really you're proud of me?!"

"But of course! You are my pride and joy Zenitsu. I've always known that you can do it!"

"Did I ever told you that I love you? If not then," I mashed my face into his chest (possibly my snot in there somewhere). "I love you so, so, so much to the greatest infinity Jii-chan!"

The sound of lilting piano echoed close to my ears and just as expected when I lifted my face up in association to the sound, I saw the red face of one Kuwajima Jigoro.

"I love you too Sen, I love you too." Then he raised me up once again and spun me around, earning another screech from me.

"Cheeky brat."

"Put me down Jii-chan! Put me _doWN!_"

…

"What are you going to name this new breathing style?"

"Well," I tilted my head to the side, I never really got to naming it after making it, but I would really love it if it's something just as cool as the Thunder Breathing Styles naming schemes.

"Something cool, has to do with both thunder and water."

Let's see, what do they have in common. Rain? Ahh, clouds? Clouds are made of water right? Rain clouds? Cumulonimbus clouds? Thunder Clouds? Typhoon? Hurricane? Wait. Backtrack a bit.

Typhoon and hurricane… off, got it!

"Jii-chan how about storm?"

"Hmm…" The old man closed his eyes while doing the generic thinking pose, right hand on his chin and the left hand on his right elbow.

"Storm Breathing Style eh?" He opened his eyes and broke into a large grin. "Sounds pretty cool to me."

"Storm Breathing Style it is then."

* * *

**Omake: Brilliant Realization**

**Zenitsu 8 years old**

"So to use a breathing style I have to keep my breathing in check so that oxygen flows in the right place, providing me enough strength to overcome demons, right?" I asked to no one in particular, being alone on top of the hill that overlooked the village punctuates what I meant by 'no one in particular'.

Because if someone did answer even though I'm clearly currently alone out here I would seriously faint or run for the hills. Whichever reaction my body comes up at that time.

"And the highest-ranking position there is in the demon slayer corps is called Hashira. Or in other words a 'Pillar'."

Wait… breathing that gives you advantage to defeat vampiric like creatures? Highest position in the hierarchy? Pillar? Pillar men?

"…"

A large breeze flew down the hill, making my sweating form cool down and my face, which I just know that is set in a deadpan state.

"That's a Jojo Reference. Too bad, nobody would understand that reference."

Then a grin stretched widely in my lips that I find almost painful.

* * *

Throughout the little village that's buzzling with life, every single one of them stopped when a sudden bellow echoed throughout every corner of the tiny civilization that even old crones could hear with their defective hearing. Hell, it even echoed to the close large city and some other small villages. The unknown voice that they suspect as the Great Winds where the ones to deliver the declaration. Time stood still as the passionate speech happened that would be jotted down in ancient text and be unearthed in the far, far future.

"SUCK THAT JOJO HATERS! OUR REFERENCING POWERS TRANCENDS TIME, SPACE AND REALITY! GUESS WHAT? IT'S MY REALITY NOW! ALL HAIL ARAKI-SAMA AND THE JOJOS FOR CREATING THIS OPPORTUNITY! ALL HAIL OUR CREATOR!"

* * *

From that day on, the name 'Araki-sama' was renowned and news around the close villages spread like wild fire that the Great Winds have spoken stating worship to the one called Araki-sama. Hence, the religion Arakism was born, with the words of his great creation and his greatest fanatic are the illusive great winds. Tales of the chosen ones called 'Jojo' where whispered and their many great feats and battles fought where lectured with great reverie and adoration, all coming from the melodious voice of the Great Winds.

* * *

In the distant future, once the archeologists unearthed the pile of scrolls and text that pertains to one of the religions that vanished in the face of time, it was immediately transcribed and their discovery broke the whole world at large.

The text was amazingly accurate with a few misgivings in some of the date and names of the characters, but otherwise it was a perfect match to one of the well-known manga series in the world (ZA WARUDO). Conspiracy theories upon conspiracy theories were made and huge questions were heaped onto the well-known mangaka.

Jojo fans started popping out of the woodworks, determined to revive the once forgotten religion.

Thus, Arakism was revived and the world (ZA WARUDO) will never be the same.

* * *

**A/N: This whole thing is 7k+ hope y'all enjoy and keep yourselves safe! And we've only got another chapter left before canon starts. Don't forget to leave your thought on this chapter! **

**Damn, I hope Tanjiro would get a hold of himself in the next update of KnY and I hope that Nezuko could kick him out of the demon shiz funk.**

* * *

**~Taisho Secret~**

**Senritsu is a Jojo fanatic. She was dearly influenced by her awesome Mama and cultured Granny. She even influenced her Tatay Ricky in liking the series. The musical references just adds to her love for it and what pushed her to the path of music.**


	9. Lost and Something New

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 08: Lost and Something New**

* * *

_At my tender age of eight, this must've been the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life next to agreeing to train how to kill vampiric monsters. Another freaking Jojo reference in my new life._

Shit, where am I? How do I go back to Jii-chan?!

_You see, I am currently lost in the woods. Correction, the woods of the mountain that the dumbass me decided to scale because it reminded me somewhat of Mt. Sagiri._

_How the hell it reminded me of the bamboo mountain forest I would never know but in my frantic mind earlier it kinda looked like the mountain that I've always called home. Maybe I was hallucinating a bit at that time too and I wouldn't be surprised since I'm crying rivers that could have led to dehydration that then resulted the lack of oxygen in my brain that kept my spatial awareness in check._

_This place is hella scary, I could almost feel the eyes that were glaring at me at every corner and the sound of breathing that gave the forest its life leering down on my neck, the predators waiting for the right opportune moment to pounce on a weakass prey such as myself._

Goddamnit! I-I shouldn't have run away! If only, if only I'm not such a fucking coward!

_Disgust, guilt, fear and a good dollop of self-loathing entered me, eyes prickling once again, burning from the want to just curl up and weep like the pathetic small human that I am. Insignificant, small and – __**Useless little bitch! Useless just like that fucking piano that you love to play! It's all your fault why I'm stuck in this fucking marriage! It's all your fault that your bitch of a Mother doesn't want to fuck with me**__ – patheticpatheticpatheticpatheticpathet__―_

_A hand grabbed my shoulder. "Are you alright child?"_

_The scream that left me was pretty much expected and the looming face of a white eyed giant with a creepy forest backdrop had my brain halting functions and my heart going into a fucking pumping marathon in a second that left me with a frothing mouth and a blackening vision._

_I passed out without much extra thought other than, _shit_._

* * *

He panted, his bones filled with deep exhaustion – a two or five of them might be even broken, he doesn't care or even remember where he had gotten them broken – gashes deep and shallow littered his skin that had his uniform tattered in some places, blood marking his pale skin.

Maybe he should have listened to the talking bird with long lashes and let himself rest in a house that caters to demon slayers. What was the symbol of that family again? Something to do with flowers? He doesn't know nor he remembers.

He'd always been like that.

Forgetful. He doesn't even remember his own past, his family or who he really was.

All he does retain was that he needs to defeat all these demons, a deep seethed hatred towards them and that he served under Oyakata-sama and is in debt with the man for helping him gain purpose.

He instinctively ducked under a swipe of a claw.

_Oh right, I am battling a demon right now._

"Quit dodging pest and let me eat you!" The small gray-skinned demon with three mouths lounged at him with great speed nicking his right shoulder.

_I shouldn't let my mind wonder at this time!_

"Mist Breathing, Second Form: Eight Layered Mist!"

Tokito Muichiro unleashed multiple slashes on the demons gangly four arms, effectively removing them but out of nowhere the single horn on its forehead elongated and he sidestepped to the left, but it didn't leave him unscathed from the sudden attack that might have pierced his skull.

His hands were now slick with red blood, left hand now rendered into something unfavorable at his current situation.

_This is bad. My left hand and right shoulder are injured. I might not be able to use all my strength to finish this in one go and the demon's limbs are still quickly regenerating._

Muichiro's mind whirred to life while dodging attacks left and right while also giving his own counterattacks. The ten year old boy made use of the orchard of peach trees to his advantage in weaving between the looming trees in a great show of agility and footwork for someone remarkably young. Pale turquoise eyes darted across the peaceful scenery, catching sight or a giant rock placed underneath a tree, eight trees behind the demon immediate right, a plausible plan forming in his mind.

Inhaling deeply, he concentrated on his prey. "Mist Breathing, First Form: Hanging Sky, Distant Mist."

With a straightforward strong thrust, he took away the newly grown upper left arm and continued dashing as he weaved in and out, changing his running tempo as he did so to confuse his assailant. Quickly, without a sound, he gave a running leap towards the rock face and used it to take a gigantic leap towards the peach tree's lower branches. Muichiro didn't waste the opportunity and climbed a bit more and proceeded to rip off his sleeve to stem his bleeding hand, his shoulder and other wounds can wait later. Soon enough he would be found with the scent of his blood, but he'll take these few minutes to rest for a moment until the monster had caught up.

Something rustled on the ground, immediately gaining his attention but what he saw almost made him groan in exasperation.

"Uhk… I overslept." The stupid civilian child (who's most likely older than him) whispered to their self, figure too filled with shadows to identify them. "But, what's with that sound? It's almost like…" They got out of the bush where they were nestled underneath before. _Why were they sleeping on a, no, I need to focus. No need for that, I just need to protect them._

The child wore a yellow to orange kimono with a white triangle pattern, very bright and noticeable even in the dark. The kid faced the direction where the demon was currently lurking at, quiet in its hunt and seemingly locating where he was.

Where he and the child were.

Muichiro debated whether he should let his presence be known and help out, probably giving out their exact location to the demon ooor wait it out, let the demon have at least a little trouble finding them then once the demon focused on the child – because they were the ones in plain sight they could be at least useful as a good bait and not be a complete deadweight – he would dealt the finishing blow quickly in one move.

With his tired and battered condition, he's leaning on letting it all play out so that he could give his all later with the scant minutes of rest and finish it quickly so that he could finally sleep and treat his accumulated injuries. Now if only the preteen would cooperate.

_I really shouldn't have taken five consecutive missions without rest._

"Th-that sound. I-it's a – am I dreaming?" They slapped a hand on their cheek and proceeded to pinch it. "I-I'm not, then that's really _that_ and," The kid looked up, fearful amber eyes almost golden with the pale moonlight illuminating them connected to his own.

The wind picked up, ruffling their respective dark long tresses. "A boy."

The girl, Muichiro decides that they were a girl despite her clothes and masculine address to herself. His instincts claiming it as such.

Another breeze passed and a gray blur came darting towards the girl, ("Gahahahaha! Free meal! Don't mind if I do!") _shit I was distracted again now she will be –_ he quickly swooped downwards a few seconds too late but much to his and the demon's surprise,the girl clumsily jumped to the side and stumbled.

Recovering swiftly, Muichiro took the four armed abomination's surprise as an opening and continued his attack.

"Mist Breathing, Sixth Form: Moonlit Mist."

Muichiro unleashed rapid slashes as he went sailing downwards, taking away the monster's limbs and finally with his last swipe, he cut through its neck while landing softly on his feet. He then flicked his sword to the side, getting rid of the blood and sheathed it with a soft _clink._

The demon turned around, body still not registering its physical death at how swift all of that happened.

"I, I know he's dead but maybe you should―" He was unable to hear the girl's next words, much too tired for that.

Damn. He was really tired. Muichiro could use some sleep right now.

"Watch out!" Someone barreled onto him just as a pointed thing (the demon's horn) whizzed pass them and harmlessly retracting back, his breath left his lungs when his back impacted to the ground with the girl from before now straddling him.

"You! – I'm going to –"

Overhead, the demon's body fell apart, limbs and the head perfectly cleaved away from the torso, slowly turning into dust.

"Eek! I'm sorry! Are you okay?!" Warm hands felt nice on his cold cheeks and Muichiro did his all to open his eyes again – _When did I close them? – _to see the same amber eyes that peered at him before, looking at him with concern and unshed tears.

_("Mui-chan are you okay?! Come on, let Kaa-san see that, so that we can fix it.")_

Something about her niggled at his mind, somewhat familiar in the way that she gazed down at him with those emotions in her eyes.

Cold wind batted at them again, scattering the ash of the demon he had slain, making him shiver. The girl continues to talk about something but he wasn't really listening nor have the ability to keep up with her rapid fire of words. Muichiro just stared.

He stared at the fallen leaves and twigs that had stuck on the girl's long choppy dark hair, how her hair contrasted of how bright her eyes were (was it amber or was it warm gold?), noting the callouses on her otherwise soft hands that were inspecting him but one hand still remaining on his chilled cheek much to his relief.

"Ahk! I'm still on you! Sorry!" She hurriedly moved away from him, releasing him from the trance.

He tried to sit up but almost fell back again if not for the hand that steadied him.

"Hang in there! I'll carry you to my home so you don't have to worry about walking and then I'll get Kobayashi-sensei to heal you. Will a piggyback be good enough?"

Muichiro gave a nod after a few seconds of registering her words. At this point, he wasn't thinking much clearly but he knows that this girl would not harm him, something about the way she carries herself kept hammering on his head. Maybe it has to do with his loss memory.

_("Mui-chan you like it when Kaa-san carry you don't you?")_

He doesn't know.

He's just too tired to think right now.

The girl offered her back to him and he looped his arms around her neck. Her hands grabbed the back of his knees and rose to her feet bouncing him up as she did so, so that he could hook his chin onto her shoulder and not fall off if he did doze.

"Don't worry, I'll get you somewhere safe soon." She whispered to him; her way of walking was hurried but not too hurried that it would irritate some of his injuries. It was lulling him to sleep.

This is nice.

_I think I like getting piggyback rides._

_("Un! I love it when Kaa-san or Tou-san gives me piggyback rides but Nii-san doesn't like it when I ask the both of you.")_

Another chill ran pass them and he nestled himself deeper to the girl's shoulder, getting a whiff of the smell of peach blossoms, sweat and the earthy smell of the forest. Muichiro decides that he also likes that smell.

_("Kaa-san smells like the forest and I love it.")_

His eyes were now drooping, the combination of the warmth, the lulling steps and the humming (wait, someone was humming? Oh, it's the girl) made the thought of rest more appealing than ever.

…

The next time Muichiro opened his eyes, beside him there was a girl with amber eyes who he doesn't remember meeting and an old man with a scar on his face who he doesn't remember meeting.

(Was that even new? He doesn't remember most things, heck, he doesn't even remember who he was sometimes.)

They were both by his bedside, talking to each other. The girl notices him first and something about her gaze needles at his mind. Concern, guilt, joy and relief were clear in her eyes and those ranging emotions wheedles something from him and warms his chest.

_("Kaa-san loves you.")_

"Are you – erm, how are you feeling?"

Muichiro blinked. "Fine and warm." He answers quietly, serenely. Something inquisitive in his usually blank gaze.

"That's good, that's good. I'm glad that you're good. Here, have some water." She handed him a ceramic cup while helping him sit up.

There was an acute pain on his side where he might have broken a rib or two. He didn't make a sound and supported his own weight when the hand left his back. Muichiro carefully took the cup with two hands and let his dry throat to be finally watered.

Finishing the cup slowly, he took in his surroundings and inhaled.

Definitely broken a few ribs.

The room he was in was bare, folded futons were on his left at the corner, and behind the old man was a sky blue decorative cloth with embroidered cherry blossoms, wisterias and sparrows, across from him was a little barred window, nothing more but to let some light through. Small wind chimes tied on yellow strings dangled in it, tinkling everytime a breeze passes by the small gaps.

He takes in all the plainness and focused on the girl beside him. Muichiro hands her the cup.

"Who are you?" He tilts his head slightly, blank turquoise eyes staring straight to warm gold.

* * *

Gosh. This boy is even prettier than me, an actual girl.

"O-Oh what was that again? I wasn't really… paying attention." I trailed off, looking to the side. His eyes were just too probing, like he can see through me.

The fact that it made him more doll like amps the creepy factor.

"I asked, who are you?"

_Right, we haven't introduced ourselves. Should have done that in the beginning_.

"M-My name's Agatsuma Sen – err, Zenitsu and this old man right here is my master slash gramps Kuwajima Jigoro, and this is our home." Goddamnit, I slipped. What the hell is wrong with me?!

"Nice to meet you both I guess, Osen-san, old man."

"I-I think we have a misunderstanding." I gave him a smile that could also be a grimace with how much it twitches in place. "My name's Zenitsu, A-Agatsuma Zenitsu."

"And don't call me old man, brat!"

"I see." No, I don't see why you're still staring intently at me. "What am I doing here?"

I scratched my cheek, now doing my best to make eye contact with him and smile reassuringly. Which I failed epically based on the raised eyebrow. "Well, i-if you don't remember, you were seriously injured three nights ago a-and I brought you here to help patch up your wounds and also,"

I rearranged my legs properly so that I was kneeling in a seiza position, laying my palms flat on the tatami, I began lowering my head to the floor.

"Thank you very much for saving me from that demon! I, Agatsuma Zenitsu is very grateful for your service and selfless act for saving someone who is as worthless as me and―oomph!"

"How many times do I have to dig my foot to your skull so that you'd get it?!" The old man dug his peg leg to my head causing me to cry out and clutched at the abused temple.

"You." Another bonk.

"Are." He dug in again.

"Not." Another stomp. _This is so embarrassing, there's even an unknown audience here Jii-chan!_

He rose his peg leg once again. "USELESS!"

"OUCH JII-CHAN! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOSE BRAIN CELLS?!"

"If you'd just listen and understand I might stop it! And call me Shihan! Not Jii-chan!"

I rolled away from the strike, quickly vaulting to the pretty boy and hiding behind him, using him as a shield shamelessly.

"P-Please protect me from the demon's wrath…" I whispered to his ears, damn his hair is silkier than mine.

The boy, unbothered at all, looked back at me, his once blank eyes now has confusion in them.

"But he's not a demon." He pointed at the huffing old man. Then the still unnamed boy tilted his head back looking at ceiling, almost colliding to my forehead.

"Just a senile old man."

…

I snorted a laugh.

_Oh my God! Is he for real?!_

"What did you say brat?!"

"Oh, so he's hard of hearing too?" The kid added with a flat tone.

I lost it.

"Oh my… Ahahaha! God! You… Ahaha! You're one funny kid! Ahahahaha!"

"What? What's so funny?"

I howled in laughter once again.

"You brat!"

"W-Wait Jii-chan haha," The old man started lifting his cane.

"W-wait. JII-CHAN NO! PUT THAT _DOWN_ HE'S STILL INJURED!"

"I don't care just let me bonk him in the head! If he survived a demon, he could survive an attack from a senile old man!"

"You forgot. It's partially _deaf_ senile old man."

"Y-You're not helping the situation!" Using my quick feet, I managed to immediately get behind the old man and hold him back.

It's way harder than it appears to be, Jii-chan _is_ strong. Damn old ex-pillar that he is.

"Jii-chan no! You are not further injuring, urk!" _He fucking elbowed me!_ "The person who saved me! And you!" I glared at the boy who's the root cause of all of this.

"Me?" He pointed at himself, not even fazed by Jii-chan's annoyance and want to bonk him – knock him out – with his walking stick.

"Yeah you! Apologize to Jii-chan!" A peg leg on my toe, _ow._ "Now!"

"Oh, okay." He readily agreed.

"I'm sorry." And of course, he delivered it with the same monotone. The brat is not fucking helping the situation, he's just making it worse.

Jii-chan's flailing became harder and maybe I should just let the brat get mauled because damn_ he's starting to get on my nerves too._

"Let me at him Zenitsu, let me at him!"

A lapse in attention made my grip loosened and he was open for an attack.

"JII-CHAN NOOOOO!"

* * *

"So what's your name?" Brat. Fucking brat just watched me struggle until Jii-chan took pity on me and decided to huff away from the room. Of course without forgetting to curse at the still blank faced boy.

"Tokito Muichirou. And you are?" He did the puppy head thing again.

_Damn him for being cute and a little shit. And didn't I introduce myself earlier? More than once._

"I'm Agatsuma Zenitsu and I really thank you for saving me from that demon."

The newly introduced Tokito Muichiro placed a finger on his lips, looking for all the world like a confused puppy.

"Did I? I don't remember."

My eyebrows twitched.

"Yes you did. Don't you remember? Three nights ago, you saved me from a gray-skinned demon with four arms. T-That was really scary you know, s-suddenly hearing that horrible, horrible sound after waking up and it was a good thing you were there or I would have been six feet below on the g-ground by now."

He blinked once again and then, "Who are you again?"

…

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME OR DO YOU HAVE A BAD MEMORY?! IT'S AGATSUMA SENRITSU, AGATSUMA SENRITSU I TELL YOU!" I yelled out in annoyance because clearly, this boy is making fun of me, but after the outburst my mind stuttered to a halt when I recalled what I just said.

"N-No! You have it all wrong, it's not Senritsu, it's Zenitsu! I just got confused b-because I was so annoyed! It's Zenitsu, come on, say it with me! Zen-Itsu! Zen! Itsu!"

The boy remained unmoved. "Osen-san then and yes, I don't really have a good memory. I tend to forget most things."

"It's Zenitsu! And also," I closed in on him, hoping that I misheard him or was unaware of how his heartbeat didn't even waver. "A-Are you kidding me? Y-You really have bad memory?"

"No," His eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I am not kidding."

Wait. "Really? You're not kidding?"

"Maybe I'm not the only one who has a bad memory."

"H-Hey! I didn't mean it like that!" I floundered about, doing the jazz hands. "I mean, you've been…" How do I even put this? Looking back, he missed a lot of social cues and generally looked like a lost puppy. He kinda reminds me of Yuu actually, but a little bit vocal.

"I guess it kinda explains your cluelessness and lack of tact earlier." I whispered to myself not realizing the analytical stare that Tokito was throwing at me.

Cold fingers touched my cheek, making me jerk away. "What?"

"I don't know why, but you remind me of someone." His heart stuttered and twinge with pain, frustration and sadness. "I don't know who but it was…" His brows pinched in visible frustration then it settled down, his eyes lost its blankness and was replaced with tenderness, his fingers coming in contact with my cheek once again.

"Someone important."

'_Why are you so painfully familiar? Why do I feel like I know you? Who are you to me? Do I know you from the past?'_

The soft childish voice entered my ears, it sounded lost and defeated. A wispy fog, that comes and goes like the drifting clouds in the sky, scattered and seemingly trying to find a place to belong to.

A little wandering mist.

This is a confirmation that he wasn't lying or trying to find an excuse for his earlier rude behavior. It was all genuine and something tells me that he's a very straightforward person and speaks what he thinks. He's so young yet he already holds this empty look in his eyes, something painful might have happened to him before, something that lead to this.

When I first saw him that night before all I could think of is how could a child be already in on something so gory and perpetually mind scarring. How he's so relaxed and composed as he battled with the hideous creature, how he really doesn't care of how much blood is spraying all over him. All I heard was calm stillness in his heart, a potent rage that lurks in the shadows and the overall frustration he feels about being lost.

It explains the desperation to prove something and the desperation to have a certain purpose. Because he had lost everything and he's trying to piece himself together, trying to find clues of who he was.

He remembers nothing of his past while I'm here, existing on my fucking _second _life and remembering more than I should. It makes me feel ashamed that at one point, I wanted to forget everything and become a blank slate to get rid of all the pain, but here he is, just a boy who feels this kind of hurt, because he can't remember anything.

I withheld the urge to cry my eyes out with a few breathing exercises and rapidly blinked my eyes. He might think that I'm crazy if I started wailing at his facr.

Once I've managed to wrestle with my emotions, I made sure to give him the most tender looking smile that I have, emulating Kaa-san a little.

"I'm sure you'll find who it was someday soon and once you do, you can tell me who it was." Wait, that sounds weird, I mean we're not even friends! "I-I mean if you would want to tell me. It's not like you're obligated to do it or anything! Sorry I'm just gonna stop now, d-do you want more tea? O-Oh how about food? I bet you're really hungry. Wait here, I'm gonna grab you some." I made my hasty retreat with a hot face and an inhuman screech and speed, making sure that he doesn't have a glimpse of my face.

Time to prepare an early dinner, I guess.

* * *

Muichiro stared at the shoji door with confusion. That girl – and he is sure that she is in fact a girl no matter how she insists on addressing her with a masculine name that he has already forgotten about – is very confusing in on itself.

Now that she had said her name, (_Osen-san was it?)_ it somehow stuck around now like how Oyakata-sama had stuck around in his head when he rarely even remembers anything after a few minutes, seconds even, have passed.

Her smile earlier made him feel of all sorts of emotions that he didn't know he has. It's so warm, so soft and so gentle, the way she had looked at him at that moment made him feel incredibly warm and sad at the same time.

_("Kaa-san's smile is the prettiest thing ever!")_

"She's weird." Muichiro concluded after some time.

Looking down at his fingers where he had used to touch the girl's flushed cheeks, remembering how soft it was, like how he had expected it to be.

…

"But also warm."

* * *

"Are you sure that it's alright for you to be walking now Tokito-san?" I glanced nervously at the stubborn boy who had been with us for about five days now, which he had been asleep for three. I'm glad that his recovery is going well despite of how many bones his has broken and I was pretty sure Kobayashi-sensei said that he shouldn't be able to recover for at least six weeks yet he's already up and about and doesn't seem to feel anything.

Is it a demon slayer thing?

Jii-chan told me once that breathing styles can help mitigate injuries and can even stem bleeding if your really good. Man, even if he's just a kid he's already using the advance breathing concentration and I can tell this much by the rhythm of his air intake. Mei-nii was the same, he was able to grasp the concept easily, the main reason that he became a hashira after only two months.

No wonder Jii-chan had referred to him as a genius. Demon hunters sure are a scary bunch.

"Don't worry, I can manage." He sighed softly, taking a long look at the small hills of greenery before him.

For some reason, ever since the end of our first conversation – which I have fled like a pussy – he became less rude and more tactful towards me.

And yes, it's only towards me. Well, he became less of an asshole towards Gramps and apologized after he learned that he was a former pillar (which he often than not, forgets) but when it comes to Kai… it was… sure something.

"Who are you?"

"My name's Kaigaku and remember it, damnit! How the hell did a braindead brat like you became a demon slayer?!"

"Simple Kaigaku, I passed the exams."

"And it's Kaigaku-_san_! Not Kaigaku! Show some respect brat, I'm older than you!"

"Kai calm down, you know how his situation is."

Angry turquoise, so unlike Tokito's blank gaze, glared down at me, his expression dark. "Stay the fuck away from here Zenitsu, you've got nothing to do with this. And why are you even defending him? I'm your _senpai_ remember?" He gave a hard knock right at the center of my forehead, making me flail backwards from the force, my hand flying towards the spot to protect it from more aggression. Usually, Kai isn't this vicious towards me, but I can tell that it stems from the shrill jealousy that I can hear from him.

One thing led to another while I was nursing the bruise and suddenly Kai was on the grassy floor furiously looking up at Tokito who was now right in front of me.

"Don't hurt Osen-san. Osen-san hasn't done anything to you." Then he looked back towards me, frail looking hands taking hold of my cheeks to view the abused forehead. Out of all the things he remembers, he remembers calling me by 'Osen-san', now that's just blowing my cover.

"I-It's okay, you don't have to do that. Honestly, I'm used to it." Tokito's heart spiked for a moment with an emotion I knew too well. Indignation and anger, but on my behalf instead of at me. His soft gaze turned frigid, the metaphorical mist spreading around the area making things a whole lot colder.

"You girly brat!"

As quickly as I could, I hugged the boy right in front of me, making sure to get his arms in, tucking his head under my chin (not a hard feat seeing that he was smaller than me) and stood my ground as I switched our places just as Kai gave a blow at the back of my head.

Damn! That fucking hurts! Probably gonna leave a bump there.

But really, attacking an injured kid without holding back? Really?

I inhaled deeply, holding back tears, missing the look that the boy in my arms gave me. Slowly, I turned myself around to face a huffing Kai who's looking at me like I was insane.

And of course, he's angry too. Can't forget that part.

"Why the fuck did you―" Oh, you're gonna scream at me after that? Sorry boy but I can outscream you.

"No Kai," I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled once again and plugged Tokito's ears with my fingers, but before he could open his little mouth, I turned up the volume. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING PUNCHING AN INJURED KID?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE HIS STAY WITH US LONGER WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

I stared down at Tokito's stunned face "Not that I mind or anything." I looked back up once again. "DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER BY ATTACKING AN INJURED PERSON?! GO DO THAT WHEN HE CAN ACTUALLY FIGHT BACK WITHOUT BEING HINDERED!"

Clearing my throat, I narrowed my eyes at him. "Now, leave us alone and do some training with Gramps. Also, I have a little something for you that's on top of your futon. Wear that so that you'll stop wearing that ridiculous rope on your neck. It makes my urges to tie you up to a tree very prominent. Good day."

With that I stomped away, Tokito still held closely to me like my favorite blanket on a particularly nasty dream. Once we're in a good distance away from the house, i.e by the riverbank, we both sat down in silence.

It was peaceful to say the least. And noticing that I'm still holding onto him like a teddy bear, I awkwardly took my arms away from his shoulders and discretely butt shuffled on the damp grass to create some distance between us.

"S-Sorry about that. Kai had always been a jerk but he's been acting even jerkier than his usual self. I'm really sorry about that and please―"

"Osen-san really talks a lot and apologizes a lot."

"S-Sorry! Err… I guess that's just how I am." I shrugged lamely, scratching at my heated cheeks. God this is embarrassing being told off by a boy years younger than me.

Humming thoughtfully to himself, I heard shuffling on my side as a head full of long hair leans at my shoulder. "I also learned that Osen-san doesn't really stands up for herself." Sheesh boy, you don't really have a filter. It's a good thing that I sometimes take criticism to heart.

Glancing down to my right, I was surprised to see him watching me with that peculiar look in his eyes. It's the same look he gives to me once in a while that I can't get a read on, all I can hear from him was peace mixed with happiness, sadness and confusion.

"But Osen-san stands up for others even if she's the one who gets hurt in the process. Osen-san is really…" Fingers traced the stinging bruise – and is probably a small bump now – on my forehead.

"Selfless."

I averted my eyes immediately, my face heating up even further from the compliment and from the way he's looking at me.

"N-No way! You got it all wrong, you have no idea what you're talking about." I focused on the subtle waves of the river and the leaves that were floating on it. "I'm the most selfish person you'll ever get to meet. I mean, I would totally let someone fight my fights and would just cry in the corner thinking of ways of how I could stay alive. And, and there's a fact that I'm only agreeing to be trained right now because I want to at least say to myself that I'm helping my friends on their goals. I'm only here because I don't want to feel like I'm totally useless."

I blinked away the oncoming tears with much difficulty. "I'm only here because I just want to feel wanted." I chuckled bitterly. "Pretty selfish right?"

I kept my sight straight towards the river, not even trying to look at him through my peripheral vision. But that choice was taken from me when a small calloused hand took hold of my chin and forcefully turn me towards him.

"The senile old man was right. You think so negatively of yourself." The boy blinked in surprise, before looking into the distance. "Huh. I managed to remember that." He said more to himself than to me, Tokito faces me once again with furrowed brows.

"I don't think you're selfish even if you think that you are. So what? You can be a person who is selfishly selfless. I for one, admit that I only think for myself because it's only logical to think that way. There's nothing wrong with that, right? Come to think of it," He placed a finger at the bottom of his lips, looking skywards and appearing a little absentminded as his eyes glazed over.

"I'm starting to think not only for myself," He switched his gaze back towards me once again, eyes impossibly innocent and honest. "I'm starting to think about your well-being and I don't know why is that. You feel so familiar to me that it feels like I know you somehow or maybe you remind me of one of my family that I don't remember. It's a little difficult to describe… the emotions that I feel towards you. I feel warm and happy when I see you happy and right now, I don't like what I'm feeling."

He brushed away the leftover tears in my eyes much to my ever-growing surprise towards this conversation.

"Because Osen-san is sad and I don't like it."

_("Kaa-san please don't cry! Please don't give up, I know that you can get better Tou-san would be home soon with all the medicine. Please… don't die yet.")_

Man, I feel like crying again. But not for me of course. I want to shed rivers for this boy who had lost everything, his memories and to the family that he used to have. How the hell could I even remind him of someone that he knows? A sister? A brother? Uncle? An aunt? Cousin? Mother? Father? I don't know who I remind him of, but simply knowing and hearing the omnipresent rage that he has buried way deep inside him makes for a not so pretty picture of how everything went down in his past. Me accidentally hearing his loud thoughts – he forgets almost everything within the span of a few seconds, I wonder how he could even live with that constant sense of being lost – sometimes, makes me want to curl up in a corner and stay there forever. The constant sense of not knowing what's going on after a few moments is a terrifying thing and I don't ever want to experience it.

"Why are you crying again?"

Goddamnit, those freaking mint green eyes are just the cutest. "I-Isn't it obvious?! I'm crying for you! Because it seems like you have even forgotten some of your basic human faculties!" Giving into my urges, I hugged him by the shoulders, letting his head settle on the crook of my neck while I sobbed my heart out, carding my fingers to his beautiful long hair.

"And damnit, don't make that face at people again. Makes them want to hug the living daylights out of you."

I can feel him hesitantly returning the hug, like trying to get a feel of how it is to hug people.

"But I always look like this." His lean arms settled on my waist and the boy unashamedly nuzzled against me, inhaling my scent.

"That's the point. I'm really jealous that you're cuter than me and looked more like a girl than I do and yes, I am finally admitting that I am a girl. But don't tell it to anybody, it's a secret." I whispered the last part to him, slowly getting out of the hug before holding out my pinky. He only stared at it with visible confusion. "Promise to not tell anybody unless I say so okay? Only a few people knows about this so I am also entrusting you with this secret."

"Why are you holding out your pinky?"

"Oh come on," I took hold of his hand and stuck the pinky out, hooking it with my own. "This is called a 'Pinky Swear'. It's a contract of sorts to uphold a promise that you can never _ever_ break."

"I still don't get it."

"Just promise okay!"

"Okay, I promise." I tightened my pinky onto his and he instinctively squeezed back.

"But what if…" He started. "But what if I forgot about the promise?" The boy seemed unsure of himself, removing his hand from mine.

I grinned at him in response. "You won't. I believe in you Tokito-san."

* * *

"Did you like it?" I wringed my hands nervously, while I look at the boy through my lashes.

Tokito seemed to notice my nervousness but only continued to chew on the food slowly as if to trigger something in me.

And yes, it is triggering something in me. My tear ducts are begging to be dried out while my mind kept taunting me. _He doesn't like it. You're a failure at being a female. You can't cook right, you may have overseasoned the shit out of that earlier Senritsu._ _You already don't look like a girl, what other unredeeming qualities are you gonna have? You're never gonna be able to marry!_

"I like it. It's a little salty though."

My brain short circuited. "W-Wait! Come again, did I hear that right?! You liked it?!"

One thin eyebrow rose. "Yes, I did. I thought you have good hearing?"

Wow. This boy is a natural sass without even trying and you don't even know if he's being sarcastic or entirely serious.

"Y-Yeah. I was just making sure because I thought I overseasoned it or something." I rambled. "I thought I messed up again and that would have sucked. At least now I know what to do next time." Bowing to him at the waist, I then took the finished plates from the low table. "Thank you for being honest to me."

I got up and made my way to the back where the basin was. Oh how I miss the piping system, it makes doing the dishes way simpler.

"Hey aren't ya gonna ask us if it's good or not?!" Kai yelled from the table, throwing his chopsticks at me for my 'rudeness'.

Slowly, I turned towards him. Giving him the best deadpan stare that I could make. Damn, he really reminds me of _that fucking sperm donor who ki- _I need to set him straight these days.

"What?" I started in a monotone voice, putting the tray down to pick at my hat where some rice grains have fallen. "You're eating it just fine and not keeling over. I take that as a win. And besides, if I messed up, you'll be calling me out all through dinner. Jii-chan hasn't complained either. I'm just asking Tokito-san if it's to his taste since he's our guest." Having said that, I started walking away.

But before I could fully made it out the door I stopped.

"By the way, your new accessories really suit you like I thought they would. It brings out your pretty eyes."

I continued to complete my task once again, mind elsewhere, not noticing the spiking of a heartbeat and the colorful red that spread throughout the person's cheeks.

* * *

My eyes met with sharp mint colored eyes – same color of Tokito's – but this one burns of self- importance and pride. Bokuto, a wooden sword, at his side.

"Hey Zen, spar with me. First one to get a hit in is the winner. It's really easy and it'll be surely fun."

His heartbeat didn't waver. He's completely serious.

"Promise it wouldn't hurt that much plus, it's just one hit. How bad can it be?"

He continued to stare at me expectantly, like I would just agree to get myself hurt for 'fun'.

"You… serious?"

"Completely."

"But why?"

"Do I even need a reason?! Just fucking spar with me!" He yelled impatiently; his practice sword raised. "Get your sword now or I'll be tempted to start without it!"

"Okay, okay. I-I'll just get it." I held out my hands in front of me, slowly tiptoeing towards the house.

"And don't try to run away either! I'll find you and break your legs!"

Damn. He spoiled my plans, now I'm gonna look like a complete loser to Tokito-san.

* * *

"Aren't we supposed to wait for Jii-chan to referee for us before we start?"

He scoffed and gave me a feral smirk. "You're just trying to delay this aren't you?"

I winced, my hands sweaty and shaking while I grimaced. "If I answer 'yes', would you?"

"No."

"I expected as much. Tokito-san do you mind if you referee for us?" I looked to the porch where Tokito was and because my head was turned, I didn't saw the way the other dark haired boy's face molded into a sneer.

"I don't—"

There was a sound of displace air and I suddenly found myself on the defense.

"H-Hey! He hasn't said go yet!" I barely dodged to the right, Kai's wooden sword slicing through the air with no sense of control in the movement.

Jumping backwards, I managed to evade the strike from my midsection.

"I already said start earlier," Another stab to my stomach. "Maybe you would have heard it if you're paying attention to me!" He cried with a snarl to his lips, his movements wild but held strength in them.

He was about to strike me right in the temple but I managed to parry it – luckily – with my own sword, wincing as I felt my arms spasm with the force behind it. Man, is he trying to put me to sleep?

Pivoting from my heels, I twisted my body along with it to let another strike meet nothing, concentrating on my breathing and from the leftover force from my spin, I dashed quickly to his left where his guard was down and used this chance to attack.

To my surprise, it actually connected.

I managed to land a hit. On his left shoulder.

Shakily, I pointed at Kai and looked at Tokito. "D-Did you see that? I, I manage to hit him! I actually did it!" A smile gradually grew in my face as I giddily jumped up and down.

"I actually managed to get a hit in on Jii-chan's best student! Me! The slow learner who can't even do the other thunder breathing styles except for the first!"

The sound of an object hitting the air alerted me from the hit and I was able to put up my sword to meet the attack.

"Hey! I got a hit in, you said it's just one hit and it'll be over!"

My eyes widened and moved my head to the right, avoiding the pointy end of the stick where it could have gouged out my eye.

"Oh, did I say that? Well," He looked over my shoulder where I know Tokito was and based on the shift in clothing and the two feet firmly scrunching on the leafy ground, Tokito was definitely up on his feet. Kai gives a nasty looking face – _too familiar, too much like _that_ man who I don't even clearly remember the face anymore_ – that makes me want to hole up in the closet and never get out.

His cold turquoise eyes focused on me, challenging me to disagree with him.

"How about a new round?"

It's really puzzling. Kai, admittedly, had always been a dick. But, there's a limit to his dickheadedness and he always abided by it.

He doesn't really use physical means to dick around. Usually, it's just his words filled with barbs and no less damaging in my weeping self-esteem. But for some reason, ever since Tokito came into the picture, he's acting out more than he does on a bad day. And I've been hearing that shrill sound everytime coming from him, it wasn't just anger or embarrassment, it had been a constant ring on him since then.

Jealousy. Green shrill jealousy.

"Kai," I inhaled deeply to get rid of any of the fear and anger that I felt. Looking him in the eye, I gave him the 'I am being patient with you' look that he is very well acquainted to over the two years of living together.

"Why are you jealous?"

"No I'm not!" Indignation and denial spreading all over his features. The hand clutching the bokuto turning white, a look of realization flashing across his face.

"Are you reading my mind again?!" He tried to hit me once again but I blocked it almost absentmindedly, too focused in the conversation.

I felt out of place. Detached at this event and felt eerily calm despite my panic from earlier, I don't understand it myself but right at this moment, I can only see that I have to do something about Kai before it could get out of hand and someone gets seriously hurt.

"Remember Kai, I can't read minds, just hear the bits and pieces of loud thoughts and I try not to do that as much as possible." Letting one of my hands free from the wooden sword's hilt, I settled it on Kai's trembling hands.

"You know that right?" I spoke gently, pleading with my eyes. "I'm too much of a coward to know what people are thinking about me. Too scared at what they might know something that could be dangerous and potentially hurt me."

Still looking him in the eyes, I can see that they were turning glassy, still indignant and in denial.

"You know this, right?"

…

"Why are you being like this?! Why are you looking at me like that?! Stop looking at me like that?!" He pushed me away with a shove from his sword, taking a few steps back.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I ate the distance away with careful steps, approaching him like I would to a scared animal. Not that I would personally do that unless the animal is extremely harmless.

"Stay there! And I said to not look at me like that!"

I stopped, two steps away from him. Tokito was still by the porch, watching us carefully.

"What look?"

"That look!" He pointed an accusing finger at me, his thick eyebrows furrowed together. "Like you fucking care! You look like you always care! Why would you even look at me like that when you don't even fucking care about me! And I've realized this when _that__—_" Kai directed his finger at a quiet and confused Tokito. "asshole came in here!"

The brunette stomped on the few steps between us, looming at me with a vicious glare. "Don't try to deny it, _Osen-chan~_ Is it because he's a full fledge demon slayer? Or is it because you think that you'll have a shot at becoming one if you smooch their faces and give them all your hugs? I'm right, right? Why else are you being so chummy towards them? You—"

By them, he meant Yuu, Mei-nii and now, Tokito.

"KAIGAKU THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jii-chan's thunderous voice interrupted his tirade. "How could you say such a thing! I'm disap—"

"It's okay, Jiichan."

A look of incredulous surprise spread across his face. "What are you…"

I smiled – more like grimaced – as tears fell from my eyes, the stabbing feeling deep in my chest unbearable from the words that came from Kai's mouth. Pointlessly, I tried not to take it too seriously. It's just a rambling of a confused child that's for sure. He's just angry and that makes him say things that he doesn't mean or words that he doesn't know how it could mean to someone. Besides I can hear him, his real inner voice, the one coming from his heart. He's just hurt in some way, jealous and angry.

But it still hurts to hear him say those words.

"It's okay Jii-chan." I sniffed. "Kai, is that all you want to say?"

I wiped the tears with my sleeve, it really pays to have long flowy ones. "Are you done?" Smiling once again, this time successful but filled with pain, the boy recoiled as if he was slapped.

"Go ahead and say whatever you w-wanna say. It's not good to bottle up feelings, it will explode on your face if you're not careful that's why I t-try to voice out mine as much as I can. Go on,"

The smile stretched to my cheeks and into a painful grin. "Dump it all on me, I promise I won't be angry. Maybe a little hurt afterwards, but I won't be angry at y-you." I met his eyes with my own.

"Because I care about you."

Suddenly, I was yanked by my collar.

"So you want me to dump it all on to you huh?! _Fine._ I'll dump it all on you!" His face glaringly close to mine, so close that I could see his unusual canines and how thick his eyebrows really were.

"I really, really, fucking _hate_ you." My heart stilled for a moment from the statement, hearing that from someone I considered my friend or a brother. But once I heard the spiking of his heart from that statement, I realized that it wasn't what he exactly meant.

"I hate how you care so much! I hate how you're always looking at me like you actually care!"

"But I do care, I care about you a lot like how I care about Jii-chan. You're family Kai—"

His fist loosened, his eyes welling up in tears as his nose flared from all his flagging emotions.

"That's not true…" He whispered.

"Kai—"

"SHUT UP YOU LIAR! You think of me as family?! What the fuck even is a family?! Last time I'm in one that stupid drunkard motherfucker always beat the living shit outta me! And that useless bitch just stood there as that fucker sold me to another fucker! Is that what you call a fucking family?!"

My eyes widened at this revelation, I never really knew anything about his past other than he was caught while stealing money and was brought to the temple. All the other children and Mei-nii are brought their because their parents were unable to support them. It seems like Kai is withholding such a heavy baggage on his own and didn't have the happiest of childhood.

God, now I'm getting teary eyed. The hell that Kai must have been through, I can slightly imagine how it must've been for him. I should have been clued in from his ever-present animosity when talks of family came about. His hostility to the other children and the aversion of getting closer to anyone from the temple. I should've figured it out in hindsight.

The betrayal he must've felt to those people who should have loved and cared for him.

_Being a shitty parent is the heaviest thing you can commit to a person. It screws a person over, one way or another._

He shook me strongly by the collar, my headwrap slipping from its place from all the recent roughhousing, the long inky strands a settling weight down my back.

Ignoring the gasp from the old man and the unnerving stare at my back, I solely focused on Kai and his thundering emotions. Taking hold of his hands with my own, I gave them a gentle squeeze and the shaking stopped. The kid looked aghast at what he had exposed about himself, eyes widening revealing the vulnerability in his gaze along with the rage.

His breath came out ragged and he sagged like a deflated balloon, his glassy eyes looked at me still managing a glare. "Don't fucking pity me."

In reality, I don't have a clue on what to do at this present situation. I have no idea of what would be the right things to say at this crucial moment. And it is crucial, this conversation might have a deciding factor in Kai's character. I want to reach out to him, to make him understand that _that_ might have been the case in his past but it's different now. He have me and Jii-chan, and I know that no matter how averse Mei-nii is towards Kai that the large man is there for him if he needs it. Mei-nii just feels guilty of what happened to them and doesn't blame Kai at all. The man just couldn't face the boy for letting him see something gruesome that much I managed to get out from the older teen.

"I don't pity you." I started, giving him a serious and honest look. My mind flashing back to hazy images from my past life with a man who can't be reasoned with.

"I will never take pity of you or belittle you because I understand." I gave him a feeble smile, my eyes already leaking with a copious amount of tears. "I very much understand." I gave his hands another squeeze but this time firmer. Maybe if I hold on tightly enough, he would get to feel what I feel.

"I know that I'm not really good with expressing m-myself with words and I r-really, really suck at holding back my tears but I," I sniffed loudly, _Goddamnit, why do I have an emotional filter of a two year old? It's really the genetics. These damn genetics _"I also really, _really_ suck at lying and you know that right? So…"

I met his vulnerable stare head on, giving him the best glare that I could while crying.

Inhaling deeply, I prepared for another emotional rant that would surely leave me drain afterwards.

"DON'T YOU E-EVER DARE CALL ME A LIAR BECAUSE I SUCK AT LYING YOU, YOU… PEANUT BRAIN! DON'T YOU EVER DARE IMPLY THAT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU IS ALSO A LIE BECAUSE IT'S NOT!" Lifting my hand, I poked his forehead again and again in the chance that the message would get across. If this method worked for an emotionally stunted Yuu from before maybe it could also work on him.

"I know that it had been hard for you and that I would never erase that part of your history no matter how hard I pray to the Gods, I know that all of… all of the crap you've been through is something that I could never imagine happening to myself because so far I'd been lucky." For the most part I am quite lucky, I could have died nine years ago if the centipede demon wasn't such a dumb lazyass.

"But please, can you at least give yourself a chance?" I gave him one last poke before gathering him in my arms. He was all tense with thundering emotions roiling inside of him.

"Give yourself a chance to be content and happy. Don't let your past hinder your present. Let your box of happiness be filled, don't let it leak from just a hole at the bottom. Let us help you patch it up, I don't care if it's big or small, just let us help you. I know that it's hard to see things that way but, but… we are not going away. Me and Jii-chan are here for you, Mei-nii too. We all care about you Kai, every aspect of you no matter how much of an asshole you are sometimes." Slowly, he became more relaxed and reciprocated the hug hesitantly before tightening almost painfully, his tears now freely staining my collar as I carded my fingers through his hair. "Let yourself have the chance to have this happiness, okay? Whatever happened to the greedy guy that I know who hoards all the best peaches in the orchard and doesn't care about other people's crap?" I joked lightly earning a wet laugh from the emotionally drained boy.

Damn, I haven't felt this emotionally drained since two years ago when Yuu and Sachi took the Demon Slayer exam.

"Are you sure of what you're getting into?"

"What do you mean?" Confusion coloring my voice.

He backed up slightly to look me in the eyes, the look of self assurance and haughtiness coming back from his face, a smirk etching its way on his lips. Traces of his earlier vulnerability and anguish disappears completely, the only reminder that the drama actually happening was the leftover tear tracks in his cheeks.

"Like you said, I'm a selfish greedy bastard who hoards everything that I want and does whatever that I want."

The sudden predatory glint in his eyes makes me want to run for the hills, sweat rolling off from my temples with my tears completely forgotten.

"Y-Yeah?" Cautiously, I took a step back, but that was impossible seeing that he was holding me really close, his arms not budging at all from their place in my waist.

Kai lifts his left arm, letting his fingers card through my hair gently then playfully twirling the stray strands that curled to my cheek. "And now that I think of it, maybe you're a little right that I'm a bit jealous. Wonderin' why that's the case, my oblivious little _kohai_?"

I started shaking my head immediately, stopping him from the slightly uncomfortable hair twirling. "N-No, not really. On second thought, I d-don't want to know."

"Oh?" He stops my frantic movement with firm fingers on my chin. What's with dark haired, turquoise eyed boys with my chin and hair? Is this some sort of rule when it comes to talking to them? "But you were so insistent earlier Senritsu-chan. No matter, I'll tell you whether you want to know or not because I'm just like that."

Without any warning, he closed in on my ear, I could just feel the smug grin stretching over his lips, hear the clear sound of his breath and his thudding heart that was singing with content, happiness and satisfaction. Something that I would cry on later when I'm not as nervous as I am right now.

"I was jealous because I don't want to share you." Kai whispered loudly enough for the other two to hear and if I'm right, it was what he had intended.

My brain came to a screeching halt, echoing the very words he'd spoken just now.

"_I was jealous because I don't want to share you."_

"…_don't want to share you."_

"…_share you."_

…

"…_share you."_

No matter what anyone say about what I did next was the most appropriate response. Fainting at that moment was the greatest way that I could get away from that conversation real fast, lame or otherwise.

* * *

After the decidedly emotionally draining roller coaster of a conversation, Kai became more open towards Jii-chan and I in his own way.

Also meaning that he is also much more vocal of his displeasure of sharing _me._

"Hey you, don't act like you can just hoard _my_ kohai just because you're injured or whatever. Go get your own."

"But Zen is also a kohai of mine. You know, because he's training to become a demon slayer just like me." A finger went up to absentmindedly poke his lower lip. "Wait, now that I thought of it, you both are _my_ kohais and _I'm _your senpai."

I am deeply having flashbacks of the times where Yuu and Sachi were fighting over me. In any case, I don't want a repeat of that whole shebang. That's just another hot pot of migraines and headaches.

"Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, girly midget, let me remind you that I'm four years older than you. That means you should learn to respect me."

"Respect is earned and not given. You certainly wouldn't earn yours."

Well, the good thing that we did learn in these events is that Tokito can retain what's going on when he's having an argument with somebody. But if the trade of insults dried up, he'd be back to square one again, innocently indifferent towards Kai and Jii-chan while he retains what he so far knows about me. The only downside of this setup is that they almost always argue about the same shit again and again.

"What the fuck do you mean by that huh?!" Kai shoved his face close to Tokito, looming at him with a snarl.

Tokito remained indifferent outwardly but I can tell that he was steadily getting irritated. "Exactly what it means."

With a good shove and a put upon sigh, I placed myself in between the crossfire.

"Break it up you two. I'm not a toy that you two toddlers could fight over with. Anyways, I'm going to town if I could find any odd jobs to get away from you two or maybe visit Sayo-chan." Without looking back, I marched towards the door and opened it.

They were still silent. What a blissful experience.

"Don't try to follow me or I'll screech your ears off. Try not to kill each other."

The stretch of peace and quiet is a welcome change for my ears. Now, to channel my inner Joseph Joestar (complete with breathing style) with the last resort Joestar secret technique before the two comes back to their senses and start chasing me.

_NIGERUNDAYO!_

It's my favorite technique so far on the list. After all, running away is a coward's specialty.

"Who are you again?"

"_IT'S KAIGAKU GODDAMNIT!"_

* * *

"Tokito-san."

Wide mint colored eyes stared back at me, the setting sun on the background making them look like shiny gems the way the light filtered through his glassy peepers.

"Is it… is it okay if I call you Mui-chan instead? It's okay if you don't want to. I mean you're—"

"It's okay." The corner of his lips twitch upwards, the sound of amusement and delight came from him like a soft breeze.

Then his eyes widened a bit.

"What is it? I told you it's okay if you don—"

"No, it really is okay. I'm just thinking that since you have a nickname for me, I should have one for you too and I can't call you Osen-san either." He spoke so seriously that I can't help but giggle a little.

"What. Is there something funny?" A slight crease formed between his brows and I couldn't help but to smile a little more from his inherent cluelessness.

"One of my best friends used to call me 'Osen-san' too when we were kids and he didn't break it off for a year even when I requested that he call me by another name." I tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "You also slightly remind me of him. Quiet, calm and reserve." Piercing blue came to mind, calm but held an all consuming rage behind their depths. "With the same look in your eyes."

"Really?"

My eyes drifted towards the horizon where the blue of the sky was painted with dashes of pink, yellows and red. The sound of the deep calm ocean, gentle waves lapping at the sandy shores came to mind. I wonder how he's doing? Out of danger, I hope. "Yeah. Actually, he's a demon slayer like you. Maybe you've seen him before."

"Maybe. But I won't remember it even if I did." He replied softly.

"That's fine." Even if they've met at some point, they just probably stared at each other. Mui-chan's out of cluelessness and Yuu's just plainly awkward and socially inept. "Thought of a nickname yet?"

"Yes, I think. Is Ritsu fine to you?"

My nerdy mind suddenly pictured a dark haired boy with spiky hair, bluish purple aura surrounding him as slabs of stones started levitating mid air and then vaguely recalling a cute bubbly girl with light brown hair who loves her drums as much as she loves her puns.

"I think it's great." I look back at him with a grin. "It's a part of my name after all."

* * *

"What are these?"

"It's my super special peach-flavored daifuku mochi of course! C'mon try it, Mui-chan! I got that recipe from sweet old lady."

"More like an old demonic witch hag if you ask me." Someone grumbled from my left.

"Kai~ I've told you many times, don't call Amai-obaa any of that! And slowdown will ya, leave some for us!"

He shrugged, completely indifferent while his cheeks were all puffed up by the confections.

"Whatever."

"_KAI!"_

After a grueling battle with the peach-demon – and he totally is – Mui-chan managed to eat almost the half of it after tasting it once. It almost ended with a fight between the two turquoise eyed boys once again much to my lamentation. And while I was calming them down, Jii-chan had sneakily ate the rest of it. Leaving me with that one piece that I ate.

I wasn't ashamed to admit that I cried afterwards and it was hilarious how the three of them simultaneously panicked.

Man, what a great day to be alive.

* * *

"W-Wait a second Mui-chan! I, I have some things to give you!"

It has been two weeks since the young demon slayer had stayed with us and today's the day that he would be going on his way for his next mission. He's recovery had been abnormally quick but I guess I can't really talk since I had experience injuries before from training mishaps that recovered by only a day or a few. Still a bit unnerving how my healing rate had increased just by knowing how to use a breathing style but I guess it's more good than bad.

I'll miss him and I know that no matter how much I want to lock him up with us, it is not to be. This is the path that he had chosen for himself plus, he would be undoubtfully upset if I even try to do that.

Kid's a real genius, he would know what move that I would make before I could even take action.

"What is it, Ritsu?" He looked over his shoulder, the weird loud kasugaigarasu giving me a look through her long lashes, and if a crow could sneer then the avian must be doing it right now.

_How can a crow could even have _that_ kind of lashes?_

"It's just some stuff that I made," I nibbled at my lower lip nervously while twirling a lock of my hair, looking down at his feet. "to remember me by." I held out the small bundle towards him, a little black drawstring pouch that has the same color as his eyes with cloud-like pattern.

He took it from my hands carefully, as if it's the most fragile glass that could easily break with a slight rash movement. Opening it, he drew out the four contents.

A hair tie, a fountain pen, a small journal and what could only be a friendship bracelet.

He picked up the quasi lever black fountain pen first out of the three. "What is this?"

Taking it from his hands, I uncapped the pen to show the shoddy but still good enough pen nib. "This one is called a fountain pen."

"Why would a fountain have a pen? What even is a pen? That doesn't look like an animal pen to me."

Of course, I have anticipated all of this. Three other pairs of eyes bore at my back with curiosity about the foreign object before them.

"No Mui-chan, it isn't exactly a _fountain_ fountain and yes it isn't an animal pen either. Think of it as an improved ink brush, but first we gotta fill it with ink and I'm gonna show you how." Taking the ink bottle from one of many sewn inside pockets from my yellow yukata (with cute random triangles), I then flicked the lever down and plunged it into the bottle of ink before flicking the lever back up again. I wiped the pen nib with a rag to get the excess ink out, and by this time Jii-chan and Kai have migrated over my shoulder to see everything clearly. After making sure that there's no more dripping ink, I demonstrated the pen's writing capability by writing my name at the back of my hand as elegantly as I could and I'm very proud of the result.

The only good thing about the nib being shoddy is that it's not sharp enough to cut if you don't place excessive force in it, exactly how I want it to be.

"See, it works just like a brush. You can have this on your person too and it won't spill any ink as long as you don't pull the lever down. I know it's a bit trashy looking but I swear it would be useful. It's the first one that I made that actually works somewhat and if I managed to make a better looking one, I'll send it to you by a friend of mine." And yes, I am talking about Kurotsuki-kun.

My hand was shaking as I handed it out to him, my eyes focused only at his feet and my ears focused at the stunned blank silence that everyone was emitting. Now I'm not so sure anymore if giving him something like this is a bright idea.

"I just t-thought that s-since you often forgot things that maybe, you know, if you write it on the back of your hand or a paper you might be able to remember it. T-That's why I made you that small journal too." I shyly looked up to him from my lashes and saw his neutral face.

The fountain pen was a mess to work with and I've been working on it for about four years now during my spare times. I used to own these kinds of pen from the time before and know how they work from the inside out and pretty much a collector. I just love the way that it made writing look so sophisticated and classy, the ornate and beautiful designs on the said pens are just an added bonus. But even if I know how every part works and how to make it work, it's still a different thing to make the materials from scratch. It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears – mostly tears – to just make a functional lever type.

The other gifts; the journal, hair tie and bracelet took less time to make. The journal was black in color bound by a turquoise colored string while a single stylized red cloud was painted on the cover with Mui-chan's name on it. The second one I actually worked with after making the pen was the hair tie since I have more experience making them. It was a simple black band with red and white cloud patterns on it, the sides having white cotton ruffles. The friendship bracelet resembles a black zipper with turquoise at the middle, a pattern of weaving that I learned from the women at the local tailor shop, at its end was a small red cloud charm and a yellow lightning charm.

All of these gifts were made by my hands throughout a week, done secretly of course whenever I venture out on my own or stay at Amai-obaa's place and it would mean a lot if he decides to keep them. If he even decides on keeping them at all.

The confidence I had from the little gifts was slowly ebbing away as every silent second passed by. Inwardly, I cringed at my stupidity, a heavy feeling settling in my gut as a few tears prick at my eyes. I looked down once again unable to keep staring at their impassive faces.

"I-I'm sorry, you know what? This is a stupid gift; you don't have to take them if you want to. I, I'll just keep them in—"

"I didn't say that I didn't want them." My retreating arm was held by the wrist, the small calloused hand gripping it firmly.

"What?" I looked back up and down again. "You don't have to force yourself if you don't—"

"But I do want it." He interrupted again. Prying my fingers away from the crudely painted pen with his slender ones and taking it.

He held it delicately like it was made of brittle glass, mint colored eyes focused on the fountain pen's shiny black coat and the little squiggly lines that was meant to imitate clouds but looked more like well… the squiggly lines that they were.

"Are these really for me?" Mui-chan's eyes were impossibly wide, a little glossy.

Perking up at the shakiness in his heartbeat, I hurried to reassure him.

"Of course!" I screeched, clearing my throat as I felt my face warm up. "Of course." This time I said it mildly, with an abashed smile. My hands covering his. "I made it with you in mind. I hope that you like it."

Wonder filled his eyes as my ears were proceeded to be blessed with the most peaceful sound I've heard from him and at same time my eyes were blessed that I can't help but grin happily as a few stray tears left my eyes.

Mui-chan is smiling widely, his eyes forced shut with the force of his smile. I only get to savor the sight for a few seconds before I was enveloped in a tight hug.

"Thank you."

I didn't hesitate to reciprocate the gesture and clutched him closer to me. "D-Don't thank me, friends just do things for each other! And besides, it's a gift."

After what felt like minutes, Mui-chan let goes reluctantly. He then looked me in the eyes. "I'll take care of them and I promise not to forget." He held out a pinky towards me and I didn't hesitate to clasp it with mine.

I gave him my widest smile with some tears behind it because I'm a big baby.

"I'll be counting on that then."

* * *

After a few yards away from the small abode that housed him for two weeks, Muichiro took out his new journal and pen, on his wrist, the cloud and lightning charm clacked softly with the movement.

With quick strokes of the special pen that his friend gave to him, he wrote the very first content of his journal. A type of warmth that's starting to become familiar to him pooled at his stomach, going up to his chest where his heart was.

Letting the ink dry for a few seconds, he stashed everything away in the little drawstring bag that is now attached to his waist, its light weight not bothering him as he trudged on forward to continue his journey to hunt another demon.

Closing his eyes for a brief moment, the slight breeze ruffled his tied hair in a refreshing manner. Noting the difference of having it gathered and not just trailing down his back.

A small unbidden smile formed in his lips.

...

"_My name is Tokito Muichiro, and I'm ten years old (I think). I'm a demon slayer under Oyakata-sama who gave me a purpose after loosing my memories. I have my first friend and her name is Agatsuma Senritsu but I call her Ritsu as a nickname. She's very kind and gentle and often cries at most things because she's emotional. I really like her smile; it reminds me of someone I think was precious to me. She dresses like a boy and refers to herself as one. I don't remember the name she gave herself anymore but I pinky promised her not to tell anyone that she's a girl. I don't remember the reason behind it anymore but that doesn't matter because she's Ritsu. Ritsu who is a precious friend and that all that matters."_

* * *

**Omake: Just Peachy**

**~Zenitsu age 10~**

**~Kaigaku age 12~**

"Here, have some." I offered as I placed down the tray that held a kettle of freshly brewed tea and a plate filled with pink little balls.

Kai eyed the plate full of daifuku a look of distrust. "What are these?"

Taking no offense at his open skepticism, I removed the plate from the tray and placed it in between us for easy snacking reach. "Peach flavored daifuku. I thought of trying to make them since peaches are in season." I carefully place down three ceramic cups of green tea. "I hope it turned out all good though, since it your favorite fruit Kai." Out of habit, I nervously played at the bangs hanging down my face.

Picking up one of the confections and giving it one experimental sniff, the boy shrugged his shoulders and plopped it in his mouth. With baited breath, I waited for his reaction.

His eyes widened slightly; a pleased hum hanged from the back of his throat as he readily picked up another.

I gave out a small sigh of relief at the pleasant rumble of thunder came from him. Nothing more but a purr of appreciation for the treat.

Jii-chan suddenly chuckled, eyes filled with grandfatherly love. "Why thank you Zen, these are delicious. I've never had these in ages, where did you learn how to make them?"

Grinning victoriously at the complements that I'm receiving – and yes, Kai's reaction is complement enough, that boy doesn't mince words when he tries to get at you – I answered him, timing it when both of them took a sip of the tea. "From Amai-obaa of course!"

The both of them spluttered, choking on their tea. Though I can't blame their reaction towards a certain terrifying old lady, it was still hilarious at best, pfft… no wonder Kai does this to me all the time.

"Th-that old crone?! How the hell did you manage to get her recipe and lest be taught by her?!"

Kai placed down his tea and gave a mean stink eye, already knowing that the whole thing is done on purpose.

"I used two of my secret techniques of course!" I answered proudly, puffing out my chest and flipping my fringe as I did so.

"And pray tell what that is?"

I crossed my arms as I regarded Kai with a 'cool' look.

"I groveled at her feet and bargained something."

Much to my distaste, Kai snorted.

_This child. This awful child doesn't know the miracles of groveling and bargaining! Doesn't he know that it can keep him from trouble and gain him some favors?!_

"Why am I not surprised? And what the hell did you even bargained to that demon?" He gave a mocking grin. "Your soul?"

Suddenly I was being shaken by the shoulders with a frantic old man. "What the hell were you thinking?! Hadn't I told you to not make deals with shady people! I've taught you better than this! What if you can't get your soul back from that Hag?! Oh Zenitsuuu, what have you done?!"

I flailed helplessly for a moment from being a human rattle before taking hold of his scarred weathered hands and taking them away from me. "W-W-Waaaaait! Stop that! What if you rattle me too much and my neck breaks—" "I sure hope it does." Someone (Kai) grumbled. "and don't exaggerate things Jii-chan! Kai! Amai-obaa is not a demon! She's a perfectly sweet old lady!"

And she is, after groveling to her feet, praising her to high heavens and being her slave for a week, the she-demon became an angel for some reason. It was after, I took a plunge on the river while trying to chase after her beloved shawl (given to her by her late husband) on a particularly windy day.

I remembered passing out after getting out of the river from the absolute fear that I felt when I thought that I lost it – but actually, I managed to get it after desperately diving down the deep end of the river – and waking up in a pink girl's yukata.

The woman then started calling me 'Zen-chan' afterwards, insisting that I call her 'Amai-obaa' (because I was a very sweet little child that needs to be doted on) instead of Lady Amane (like all the other peasants does) with an awfully sweet understanding smile on her face as if she knew something that I don't.

I refuse to believe that she actually knew my secret – the crossdressing thing – and with the power of years of thorough denial at my back I managed to convince myself that she doesn't know a thing.

Nope. Not at all. My cover wasn't blown and everyone on the village doesn't know that I'm a girl.

"Did she made you drink something? I knew that woman was a witch, I knew it!" Warm arms suddenly enveloped me, much to my confusion. "I'm sorry Zen! I'm really sorry! This is all my fault, jokingly giving you the idea to get recipes from that woman to improve your arsenal. I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

It took me about thirty minutes to convince the old man that I wasn't bewitched by Amai-obaa with witchcraft and stuff but I know that he's still doubtful about it.

Amai-obaa be scaring Jii-chan like no other. I wonder what she did to strike fear to a former pillar man, the elite of the elites in the demon slaying scene.

Cleaning up the empty plate of sweets, Kai suddenly decided to invade my personal bubble with a good face close up that I could almost see his long lashes – bastard, how dare he have some pretty eyes with pretty lashes – and smell his peach smelling breath.

"What even made you do that kind of shit in the first place? I thought you have a great amount of self preservation?"

I sighed, not really denying the fact that I'm an effin' lame pussy. Peering at him with a puzzled look, I then smiled softly at him, taking him aback.

"Because peach is your favorite and I thought of making them for you since you haven't tried daifuku mochi before. I'm actually glad you enjoyed half of my present."

"Present?"

This time, he was totally confused and I rolled my eyes at his forgetfulness before standing up abruptly. "Stay there alright, I'm just gonna get something."

Surprisingly, when I came back he was still there, because most of the time he doesn't listen to me whatsoever, deeming it as inconsequential and me mocking his authority. Sitting across from him, I handed him a black clothed package with a cheerful grin.

"Happy 13 years of being alive in this world Kai-senpai! Here's my other present for you!" This made him two years older than I am in this world's standard and already a year had pass since he came to our home and became another disciple for the old man.

He looked stunned, eyes all wide and lips slightly parted as he stared at the gift in my hands. Carefully, I placed it down his lap. "Come on, o-open it." And despite the grin on my face I was quite nervous.

What if he hates it?! What if he doesn't like it so much that he wants to burn it after seeing it?! Maybe I should have stuck to the daifukus. He enjoyed those didn't he? I should probably take the thing back and offer to cook more of the daifukus instead. Damnit! I should'v—

I came out of my daze when I heard the sound of rustling cloth, too late to take it back now I guess… Now prepare for the knives Sen, prepare for the words.

With a too quiet, too unreadable voice, he asked me.

"Is this… really for me?"

And before his grip was a black yukata that's kinda identical to what he's currently wearing but with slight alterations.

At the front and back were two gold tomoes and at the bottom of it were blue lightning running across it haphazardly, all of it were sewn by my own hands and I'm very proud of how the lightning turned out after massive amounts of trial and error.

I dried my lips nervously and started fiddling my bangs. "Y-Yeah… Do yooou… like it?"

There was a long stretch of silence and I couldn't help but break into a nervous sweating mess. He was just there, staring at it with an unreadable expression and his sound didn't give away anything other than detachment.

Music Gods, I knew it. This was a bad idea.

Then he suddenly stood up, shaving a few years of my lifespan in the process. He said nothing as he walked inside seemingly dazed and away from the real world and for the rest of the day he didn't talk to me, but sometimes I can feel his gaze lingering towards me when he felt like I wasn't looking.

Jokes on him, I can feel everything and am very twitchy because of him just walking out on me.

Thoughts of self-deprecation came to me easily for the rest of my waking moment and I was actually surprised that I manage to sleep with a lot of things swimming in my head that would put me in a crying mess.

And I didn't cry mind you.

Well… maybe a few times when I'm all by myself.

I take it as improvement.

…

The next day when I woke up to greet my two housemates, I couldn't help but openly gawked at my fellow disciple as he went by greeting me like any other day.

"Oi midget, go get me tea."

And I did just that, still wrapping my head around to what I've just seen. Not even complaining that our height difference wasn't that large.

He is wearing the yukata that I gave him.

After thoroughly confirming that this is reality and not just fantasy, I went about my day with a massive good mood. A smile stretching across my lips that didn't even went down while training and being called names by Kai in his own 'teasing' way.

* * *

**~Taisho Secret~**

**Kaigaku had always had a crush on Senritsu since the first time she saw her. The main reason why she annoys her so much is so that he can get her attention.**

* * *

**A/N: First and foremost, I deeply apologize for this very late update. A lot of things are going on on my side. My Uncle died last month and I wasn't really in the mindset to just write something. I got distracted by a lot of things but I hope that this 15k+ longass chapter makes up for the delay. **

**But my gosh we've come a long way. This was suppose to be just a brain fart and I didn't know how to feel how a lot of people seems to love this so far, grammatical errors and all. I'm really happy how this all turned out and I promise that the next chapter we would be starting canon or maybe a glimpse of the canon, who knows? I ain't giving away anything yet.**

**Anyways, thank you for the support so far up to this point and please continue to do so. Just seeing your comments make heart asfhighafg everytime. **

**Stay safe everyone and love ya!**


	10. Here Goes Nothing

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 09: Here Goes Nothing**

**Warnings: Misspellings, possible wrong grammar (because as stated, not my first language), foul language and racism (I'm Asian too, please don't kill me)**

_'thoughts'_

_("Thoughts that she cannot hear or have ignored.")_

**_("This are statements from the past in her first life.")_**

_"Memories/flashback"_

* * *

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

_You're fine, you're fine, you're fine._

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

_You're alive Sen. Still alive, still breathing._

The bush from the far left rustled, making me jump a few inches and give a small 'eep' sound. Straining my ears for any familiar discord filled sound, I sighed in relief when I found out that there isn't any demon for around a hundred meters away.

It was just the wind.

_It's okay. It's fine. So far, you're doing great. You can do this Sen, everyone believes in you. You can absolutely come out of this alive. You've endured a lot; you've gone through all that hell training and you _will_ pass this thing! And it doesn't help that Kai will probably kick my ass if I don't pass this thing, he'd shove his achievement of passing this horrible exam to my face and I don't know if I could withhold myself from punching his kidneys._

With one last exhale, I steeled myself and ventured further through the forest filled with man-eating creatures and other fellow hopefuls. My hands were still undoubtfully shaking, heck, my whole body is shivering in fear. Thoughts of all the possible worst-case scenarios flew through my head endlessly as I take careful baby steps after baby steps.

(Brains getting sucked out through the ears. Eaten alive and left half-eaten to suffer. Getting the limbs unattached like a sick version of a broken barbie doll. Entrails taken out in the most gruesome of ways.)

Gah, brain, why don't you shut your negative thoughts out, it's clearly not helping. All you have to do is focus, remain sharp and think of ways to keep your freaking body breathing.

But then again, who am I fooling? The only best bet for me to survive is to runaway and avoid the demons, but even I don't know how long my luck would hold because one way or another, I'm still going to run into one soon enough. And knowing how Life like to pull the rug under me, it would most likely happen when I'm unguarded and totally unaware. Someone up there is probably laughing their asses off at my predicament, most likely ROB, ROBi and ROA. The Random Omnipotent beings out there is just out to get me.

Weak, pitiful, cowardly me is just praying that this week wouldn't be the last week that I would be able to spend in this backwards Japan, God knows those dorks waiting for me would go ballistic if I get my ass killed with an exam.

* * *

_Dear Ritsu,_

_Hello Ritsu, and yes, I have received your letters. I'm sorry if I forget to reply sometimes but I'm doing good. I'm fine, so stop worrying already, I'm not a weakling you know? Your gifts are really useful and I use them everyday, always keeping them with me. Because of the pen and the journal, I don't forget most things so much anymore and it's all thanks to your wonderful gifts._

_Oyakata-sama's with me as I'm writing this letter, he says that I have such a wonderful friend like you and he's right, you are a wonderful friend. He told me that you write to him too and the letter inside the package is from him. He says that it's a gift from him for taking care of me when I was injured._

_I became a Hashira months ago, sorry if I didn't include that to my previous letters. I forgot. It's only because I'm at the base right now that I was reminded to tell you. I hope you're doing fine too._

_Tell me if your rude fellow student is being mean to you again and I'll try to remember to visit you and set that __**assho**_(this part was scratched out with ink)_ guy straight._

_ From your friend,_

_ Mui-chan_

_P.S. I miss you too and love you_

_P.P.S. Why didn't you told me that you knew Oyakata-sama?_

* * *

**~Zenitsu 13 years old~**

Reaching forward with all my might, I managed to get a hold of the thing that I've been trying to get for the past five minutes.

"Hey Zen! You done yet?!"

Looking down, I gave him a smile. "Yeah Kai! I'm done! I'm coming down now!"

Carefully, I balanced myself within the crown of the tree, tying the basket of peaches and slinging the load to my back. Looking back down again, I saw Kai at the foot of the tree with Jii-chan, beside the teen was an identical basket of peaches.

_What a nice day, I hope nothing bad happens._

Suddenly, there was a loud roar from the sky before my whole body felt like it was lit on fire, little ants crawling in my bloodstream while an ear piercing shriek was let out by someone who has a great pair of lungs.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"_

"_ZENITSUUUUUU!"_

_Oh, the shriek was coming from me._ I didn't even know I could get that high. _Oh no, the peaches!_ This isn't good, not good at all.

_I should've stayed quiet. I totally jinxed myself._ I opened my eyes just to see branches set ablaze, the flash of light in the sky followed by the deep roaring rumble.

"_ZENITSUUU! WAIT__—__ KAIGAKU, DON'T TRY TO CATCH HER!"_

"_BUT WHY OLD MAN?! HER HEAD MIGHT POP FROM THAT HEIGHT! ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LET HER DIE?!"_

A storm is coming, from the northwest west, I shouldn't have underestimated the strength of the winds. Then the peaches wouldn't have to suffer from this ordeal.

"_NO DUMBASS! THE LIGHTNING MIGHT STILL BE RUNNING IN HER VEINS! YOU'LL GET SHOCKED TOO!"_

"_I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, I'M CATCHING HER!"_

This day just turned sucky like my old grades in trigonometry. It's not even funny, I can't even say anything because my body suddenly turned numb and I'm very sleepy. Like extremely sleepy.

_Sleep sounds really good right now, maybe I'll just, take a… nap._

…

_SLAP!_

"Gah! What was that for?!"

"Oh good, you're alive."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

_BONK!_

"_YOUCH!" "You almost died, dumb bitch! You just got struck by lightning!"_

"…."

…

"Just so you know Kaigaku, you're carrying her. You should have worded it in a different way."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. (At least I get to hold her for longer)"

"What was that Kaigaku?"

"Nothing Sensei, I just said that we should hurry before we could be caught in the storm. Just go carry the basket and I'll carry this moron." The teen hitched the girl higher on his back, trying to make his face as neutral as possible. A hard battle won since he could feel the smaller girl's breath on his neck and two soft bumps on his— _no_, he's not continuing those thoughts. Stupid teenage hormones.

There's nothing even remotely attractive in his fellow disciple.

Nothing.

Well okay, her voice is pretty damn nice if only she wasn't trying to pretend like she is a boy. And maybe, just maybe, he finds her long hair a little bit nice because it was all soft, shiny and dark. Not that it's dark now, it's now all bright, loud and blonde with orange tips, matching her equally loud screechiness. It just makes her large golden eyes pop more, actually, when she woke up earlier, she looks just like an ange—

_No. Just no. Stupid hormones._

"Good idea, let's go. We should get Kobayashi-Sensei to take a look at her just to make sure that's she's fine."

"…Right. Let's go. Though if he could scream like _that_ he's probably fine."

* * *

Blonde.

Every single strand of my freaking hair – even my eyebrows – are now a brilliant shade of yellow while the ends are a dandy cheerful orange.

Great. Just great.

"Well, at least I'm not dead again."

And that was great, considering that surviving a lightning strike some sort of burn or literally fried nerves is a blessing, better yet, surviving without any kind of injury is already a miracle. The hair color change is the least of my worries, though I am a bit sad to see a piece of Kaa-san in me vanish in just flash – no pun intended – is enough to make me bawl my eyes out for a good hour.

I might've made my two housemates panic, and go in a frenzy when I suddenly started crying after confirming my reflection from a cup of water.

It was both hilarious and endearing.

Sighing mournfully, I placed down the handheld mirror that Amai-obaa had given me for my thirteenth birthday.

_Guess I just have to live with it then._

I looked back down to see my reflection once again, bright amber eyes stared back at me, framed with thick long lashes. A veil of gold choppy strands framed a heart shaped face – still a bit childish, with left over baby fat on the cheeks – instead of the usual tendrils of black. The split thick eyebrows of the girl in the mirror were held high up while her pinkish lips were parted slightly, an equally fetching pink were splashed on her cheeks naturally, but as more second pass by, they start to get redder and redder.

I abruptly slapped myself in the face.

_When did I?_

I glanced back down to my slightly parted sleeping yukata, dawning horror and realization coming over me.

_Oh Music Gods, the worst of this has yet to come. Tanginang buhay na 'to._

('Fuck this life' as one of the most ancient lifeforms once said before _it_, a single-celled protozoa, decided to evolve and create stupidity that is humanity. What even is life anymore? _Damn_. Teenage angst and angeriness is already getting into me.)

My mind reeled to the memories of painful times and awkwardness. Menstrual cramps and alternating mood swings. _God_, why do I have to suffer more of it again? The first time of being a teenager was already a disaster and I can't imagine what it would be like from now on.

Kai's already going through his own problems with his growing hormones. For example, he would often have these broody moods whenever it would strike him, and there's the ever uncomfortable to hear hormonal haze he has going on whenever he sees a nice looking girl. Or even _just_ a girl, because he has been staring at me a lot lately and the off chance his loud thoughts about a certain feminine asset would sometimes reach my ears.

Sometimes, being blessed with extraordinary ears is more of a curse more than a blessing.

Then I heard it.

Even through my teenage brooding, the sound of falling rain suddenly pilfered in my ears, the droplets made to cleanse the earth, one drop at a time. And along with it was the steady trickle of water from a calm river. Both were familiar sounds, only associated with the special people that I was blessed to call my family.

Both were also steadily making their way to my direction.

I found myself already running out before confirming that I hadn't misheard it for the ongoing storm. Flying through the halls with light feet, I ignored the calls of my name as I slid the door open with a bang and ran straight outside through the raging storm.

"_Zenitsu! Come back here!"_

"_Goddamnit woman!"_

My feet were still unsteady, given that I was just struck by lightning earlier this day, honestly, they feel like they've fallen asleep, nerves crawling with moving ants that was both irritating and uncomfortable. Tears freely ran down my cheeks and steadily being washed away by the rushing rain. I was soaked, cold and all sorts of uncomfortable with my yukata clinging to me. For a moment, the one carrying the sound of the river stopped before running onwards at a faster pace, the rain following him dutifully on his heels.

At this point, I'm solely relying on my ears to navigate, the sky was already dark and probably closing in on nighttime but that's the least of my worries when I decided to storm outside (pun not intended) instead of staying put where I could just wait for them to come, safe and not soaking wet.

But I'm already soaked, so there's no point in going ba—_ACHK!_

Damnit. I should've stayed put and waited for them.

The meeting of the muddy grass and my face is already a given from the start, and here I thought this day could get any worst.

"Woah there! Be careful!" A firm damp chest greeted my face instead of the unforgiving ground while an arm went around my waist to keep me from slipping.

"Miss you shouldn't be running aro—" "_SACHI!_"

My arms went wrapping around him in an instant once my mind caught up to me.

"Sachi, Sachi, Sachi, Sachi, Sachi, Sachi! I miss you sosososo _much_!"

"Wait, Zen? Is that you?"

I looked up, tears and snot already present in my face, giving him a glare beyond my messy bangs.

"Who else am I supposed to be?! And _you_ old man," Finger pointing towards the masked old man, I let my right arm wide open. "don't just stand there and give me a freaking hug! I'm soaking wet you know!"

With a shrug, the man entered our fold, embracing us in his arms.

I wailed then and there, through the howling winds and the rolling thunder in the skies, heavily contrasting the feeling of radiant warmth that wrapped itself around my chest.

_Maybe this day isn't so bad at all._

* * *

Finally dry and finally warm, Jii-chan left us three on my room with Kai in tow. The teen giving a nasty glare to Sachi, Sachi who had happily wrapped himself around me. The salmon haired teen ignores it expertly, probably used to being under scrutiny by Kai's gaze over the years of rare visits.

But it can also be because Yuu had a more impressive job on doing the stink eye.

Warm fingers carded through my damp hair, undoing some of the knots it encounters.

"Zen-chan, be more careful about yourself. Charging into the storm like that was very stupid even if you're very eager to see the both of us." The fingers stopped threading through my hair and is now busy pinching my cheek.

"H-Hey!" Like a normal person, I started batting his hand away. "That hurts! That s-seriously hurts! Stop it! Hey!"

"You even got struck by lightning earlier this day! Jeez, how careless can you get?!" His brows furrowed in frustration and I can tell that he is just worried about me, but really, he doesn't have to stretch my cheek like this!

"I-I'm sorry okay! And it's not even my fault that the l-lightning decided to zap me! I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time."

And it's true, it's not like I can control the weather or anything, _baka_!

Lavender eyes stared into my tearful ones, the look in those kind eyes is enough to stop me from squirming and just to stare back at them listlessly. I've always known that Sachi's eyes are incredibly beautiful, one of the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They were like a pair of pearls with the faint touch of the blue ocean, inviting and mellow. Just like the person himself.

"I know that," The frustration clear in his face, the fingers on my sore cheek stops its assault and starts massaging it in silent apology. "I just don't like it when you unnecessarily get hurt and it's my duty as a man and as your brother to protect you. And I can't do that if you're the one getting yourself hurt. Let's just hope that you won't get sick after this."

Gosh, now I feel guilty for causing him to feel like that. _Helpless_, probably one of the feelings that I hate more than _frightened_. The inability to take action, to do something when you desperately want to. I hate feeling helpless more than anything, it makes me feel weaker than I already am, a crusher from my already tattered self-esteem.

No need to destroy myself even further when I already feel bad about myself. I know that I am unhealthily looking down at myself and I'm slowly trying to fix that with help from the people around me, telling me of how great I am — _**"You're still useless you know! Fucking useless! Just like you're fucking talent! Why don't you be a good little daughter and quit that shit!"**_ – it's a work in progress, a little hard because I'm the type of idiot that let people's words get straight to my head.

"I'm sorry." I lowered my gaze down to his chest. "I was just really excited that you guys are coming and I… got carried away."

Fingers on my cheek moved to my chin, lifting it up leaving me to stare at lavender pearls. Sachi sighed, "Oh Zen-chan, don't make that face please. How about a smile?" Complying, I gave a small smile. "That's more like it." A gentle smile played on his lips, stretching the awful scar on his cheek.

"You've grown so much. You look," He tucked a stray hair over my left ear. "beautiful."

Heat took over my face in an instant, and I'm betting all of my peaches that I look as red as a tomato by now. Damn Sachi and his pretty face! Damn my raging hormones and my traitorous complexion!

The amusement in those lavender pearls is enough for me to know that this guy is messing with me! Damn Tengu-jiji for staying quiet in the corner while secretly laughing his ass off too!

Morphing my face into a scowl, I slapped his hand away from my face. "Quit messing with me you ass. You're enjoying this aren't you?"

The said ass had the gall to laugh it off.

"Oooohhhh. Maybe a little, haha." Without even a warning, the teen slung his arm to my waist and reeled me into his lap, causing a yelp out of me. Leaning in close, like really close to the point that I can see his light colored lashes and feel his breath across my cheeks, his face settled into a serious one. "But I'm serious you know," His cat like eyes roamed my face. "you really have bloomed into a beautiful flower. A man after all, should always be true to his words as he is to his heart. But you can already hear that right, Zen-chan?"

And boy, I can hear it. The truthfulness in his words that his thumping heart was completely in sync with. The heat on my face came back to a roaring force that left me a little light-headed. Honest compliments like these has the tendency to always leave me in a flustered mess, grasping at reasons why that person would even say such a thing about me. If they were just saying those things because they're just nice or trying to be nice, if they even meant their words for what they were.

Words had always have power over me.

I tend to doubt compliments and take in every insult to heart. A stupid trait that got me into various anxiety attacks from the past, all just because a few chosen letters were spoken to form messages. Messages that can be misinterpreted – _**"When I told you that you were 'great' that doesn't mean you **_**were**_** great. There's this thing called 'sarcasm', Squinty-Hibiki. Now get lost, we don't want any of your chingchong business on our faces." "Who wants to be friends with a cripple?"**_ – into something else. Messages that can possibly mean everything, anything or nothing at all.

Words are hella confusing.

But the heart isn't.

And in this life, I am blessed and cursed with ears that could hear the faintest of sounds, even the ones kept hidden in the human mind. Detecting a lie had become second nature to me, but that doesn't mean I'm quite ready to face the truth either.

And here is Sachi, just easily complimenting me about my looks as he deems as the truth in his heart. I know that it's just a small shallow insignificant thing if I wasn't a normal person with no self-esteem issues but to me, it holds weight than it really should, just like every praise that comes from Jii-chan's mouth.

Tears gathered in my eyes as an automatic reaction to every honest praise that came my way, making Sachi recoil and fret over me, both of his arms – and yes that includes the upper arm stub – fluttering around me. "I-I'm sorry if that was a bit too much for you Zen-chan! But really, I'm being honest, I'm not making fun of you or anythi—!"

I quieted him down with a lone finger to his lips and smiled softly to ease his worries. "It's okay Sachi, though I admit that I'm a bit overwhelmed but," A grin took over my face, squeezing my eyes shut as it took up as much space to my cheeks, a few stray tears falling over it.

"Thank you very much for everything, Sachi. And I must say, you've become a fine handsome young man yourself."

…

"Sabito-kun, gaping is unbecoming for a man. Now, pick up your jaw and come have tea with me, you too Zenitsu-kun, make sure you keep yourself warm and your hair dry."

"G-Got it, Tengu-jiji."

* * *

From the very start, I knew that making my own original breathing technique is going to be hard, both the Thunder and Water breathing styles being my foundation to creating the moves. It was so difficult that I almost gave up at one point if it wasn't for Jii-chan's encouraging words.

Currently, I have at least five forms in total and I am working on the sixth.

Huffing, out of breath and certainly trying not to die. I stared at the red mask, right through the eyeholes, frustration painted all over my face.

"What do you think…" A gasped to catch my breath. "Tengu-jiji?"

The veteran remained quiet. "I can see that you've taken careful consideration to what direction you're going with. Mixing speed and agility to make up for the slight lack of power."

"Un. Since I'm biologically weaker being a girl and all, I try to at least give my A game in the speed department, but the movement still feels…" I wiped away the sweat forming in my brow, unconsciously grimacing as I try to find a word to describe it.

"Stiff?" The masked old man provided.

"Yeah! Stiff. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I guess I need to be more… flexible?" I inquired, not entirely sure if I'm even right.

I mean, my form requires flexible wrists, plus I do a lot of footwork that needs me to twist and turn while moving as fast as I could. Flexibility is a must in my forms or I could always end up with aching joints or a twisted foot, instances that I don't want a repeat off.

The approving nod was my answer. "Correct. It seems like you already have an idea of what you're lacking, but you should also take note of this, you need to also make your movements flow fluidly. You ought to stop overthinking of your next move, just let your body move where it's supposed to. In a real battle, your opponent won't let you think, it will all be over in a blink of an eye if you let your doubts consume you." He moved closer towards me, clamping his gnarly hands on my shoulders. "I don't want that to happen to you. Use your honed instincts to the best of your ability, let it guide your body to do what it needs to do. Plus, you have your skills to fall back into, I've heard from Jigoro that you practice your techniques to perfection daily, have faith in that, in yourself."

He gave my shoulders another squeeze before his right hand came up to my forehead and gave a 'poke'.

"But if you really can't have faith in that, then have faith in us who guided you. In these pair of old men who taught you."

Warmth flared inside me after that statement, my eyes getting blurry in a flash.

"Tengu-jiji…" The wooden sword on my hand slipped through my fingers, immediately whipping my arms around the old man, standing slightly on my tiptoes to hook my chin on his shoulder, his arms already wrapped around me. "You old cougars really _are_ the best." I sniffed, actively controlling where my snot is going.

"That's why you should trust what we taught you. You're going to be fine when the time comes, because I know that you will put what we taught you into practice. You're _our_ granddaughter after all."

I smiled in his shoulder, the trill of pride and contentment coming from him, washing over me in waves.

"I love you."

His warm strong arms pulled me in closer, as a hum rumbled in Tengu-jiji's chest. He doesn't have to say it outright, the message already clear to my ears. The heart after all, can tell no lie.

_'I love you too.'_

* * *

The hostility that Kai has for Sachi is really outstanding. Even more outstanding than his clear distaste for Mui-chan.

(Though his acidity towards Yuu is even more so, he becomes clingier and snappier than he already is.)

Sachi, on the other hand, is just plain amused at his nasty attitude, though sometimes he becomes annoyed at Kai's clinginess.

And as much as I'm annoyed by their constant jabs at each other, I'm still happy that Sachi and Tengu-jiji visited me. Sometimes, I'm the one who does the visiting, but that's only a few in between since I'm still working on my breathing style and the different forms I've come up with.

"Oi Zen," An arm slinked over my right shoulder while a chin hooked over the other, the whole weight of the person bearing down on me. "Can you make me those peach flavored mochis. I'm sure that we still have some peaches in the basket." He said, lips unbearably close to my ear.

Flushing a bit at the close proximity, I tried to shrug him off with an elbow to the stomach, making him inhale air and loosen his hold.

"A-ah sure Kai, just don't get toooo close. O-Or I won't be able to cook anything."

Surreptitiously, I walked away from him while he was still occupied from the hit. The ass just doesn't know when to give up. He's been doing these kinds of stuff when either Yuu, Sachi or Mui-chan comes for a visit, but this clinginess started only after his breakdown. After that stressful day, he became less mean and more of the teasing sort, always taking a jab at me any given moment while making that smugass face. It was seriously infuriating.

Along with that, he also started breaching my personal space frequently. Giving hugs from out of nowhere or just irritatingly using me as an armrest, apparently, my shoulder is the optimum height for resting his pointy chin.

Damn clingy asshole.

His head sure weight a lot than I thought.

But I guess it is better than having him at my throat and murdering my self confidence.

Placing down all the things that I need on the wooden kitchen counter, I dutifully ignored Kai's advances knowing that someone would and could get him off from my back. Literally. I can already hear it coming before it happened, but the 'surprise hug' that Kai was about to reward me was halted mid-air by Sachi holding onto his string choker.

Which Kai gave an eloquent curse of the highest kind.

I ignored them, continuing to peel the peaches without looking back, I'm just so done with this shit. Let him choke a little so he understands the pain of being lassoed by the neck and being pulled out of a tree by an angry old man with a peg leg.

_Ha_._ Still think it's funny to be choked? Well jokes on you, it's not._

"Let go of me! You cat-eyed scarface better let me go already!" Kai flailed in mid-air, choking from being separated a few centimeters from the ground.

"Hey now Kaigaku-kun, to become a real man, you shouldn't attack an unsuspecting person from behind without it being an actual challenge. So," There was a thud and a cough, Sachi has given his hold. "why don't we spar instead until Zen-chan finishes the mochis?"

The message was clear, _"Stop bothering her or else"_. There was a spike of tension in the air that I dutifully ignored expertly, because I already know that I'm taking a great part of this conflict even though I'm just basically a bystander, clearly an innocent person who really has nothing to do with this crap.

_The testosterone in the air is choking me, but please do carry on of only choking each other._

"Fine." Kai practically growled at Sachi who's growing more annoyed by the second. "But don't come begging me to stop when you can't handle the spar, _cripple_."

_THUNK!_

"Kai," The world seem to stand still around me, my eyes glued down to the long small knife – more like a dagger – that's now stuck to the thick circular wooden chopping board like a parody of the Excalibur, the peeled peach that I was carving through earlier solidly pierced in the middle.

"Don't say _that_ word again." I don't exactly know what face I was making at the moment because his last word kept wringing on my ears like a broken record, but when I turned around both of them flinched away, Kai in particular look on with wide frightened eyes. Slowly, I tilted my head to the side, the action causing the dark haired boy to cringe away and oddly enough, I felt satisfied by this reaction.

"Do you understand?"

…

A stuttering heart and a loud gulp. "Y-Yes."

For a solid five second, I stared at him unblinkingly from my bangs, watching him squirm as his pale skin turned even paler. I can hear his heart, thumping in a fast rhythm, his blood rushing through his veins as his thoughts were all loud and going haywire like he was in front of danger and questioning himself whether he should run or not.

_I didn't know that I can make someone react like this._

After those five seconds, I blinked and turned back to what I was doing. "Good. Now go on you two, I'll call you guys when I'm done." My voice came out even if not, slightly detached, sounding alien even to my own ears. Taking hold of the handle, I took the knife out easily without much thinking and got back to carving out circular balls from the fruit.

I wasn't really paying much attention to anything at this point, only coming back to my senses when a warm hand settled on my shoulder, the sound of rain filling my ears as the appendage squeezed through the fabric. "Okay Zen-chan, I'm looking forward to eating your special mochis!" It gave one last squeeze before letting go, the owner of the hand walking away in a sedate manner.

"Come on Kaigaku-kun, let's see who's fit to be the real man among us. The one who wins the most gets to eat one whole plateful of Zen-chan's mochis and cuddle him tonight!"

Usually, I would have something to say about somehow being included in the bet, but right now I am in no mood to refute the claim. And even if I do say something, the two would just ignore me like complete jackasses.

The dread in the air seems to wash away in an instant afterwards, Kai immediately up on his feet and stomping away after the scarred young man. "Oi wait up pinky, like hell am I letting you do that!"

…

Once I can no longer hear them in the immediate area, I can feel myself start to shake. The sound of Kai's rapid breathing and his beating heart playing in my ears repeatedly. The look on his usually arrogant face that was contorted in fear made me feel queasy and uncomfortable. I can still remember the way that he had looked at me made my eyes burn in something fierce. Eye water coming easily and now freely flowing down my cheeks as I bite down my lips to keep myself from screaming.

That's when I decided that I hate it.

_I don't want to see or hear someone like that ever again._

I furiously brushed away the tears. _I don't want to see or hear someone I know so afraid of me once again._

_**("Stay out of my way you crippled sorry excuse of a daughter! Why the hell where you even born?!")**_

_**("Hey look! A crippled chingchong!)**_

Grasping my left hand and squeezing it to the point of being painful, I reassured myself that it was there and whole, not just a malformed stub with three 'fingers' sprouting from it.

_You're whole, you're fine, you're okay. He's not here anymore, you're no longer a cripple. You're whole, you're perfectly whole._

That mantra continued on and on until I felt more human again, gathering myself and wiping away the tears and blowing away my nose from a handkerchief, once done, I carefully picked up the knife and focused on doing what I'm supposed to.

No need to breakdown now, I can always do that later when I'm alone.

I know that it's not essentially healthy but who cares. I never said I'm the epitome of emotional health. Far from it. I'm an emotional mess as it is, I feel too much even if I try to detach myself and if I detach myself too much, I'll end up scared of myself. And for the meantime, let myself get distracted at a mundane task.

* * *

Fear.

Fear is what drives us to survive.

Fear is an essential emotion for us human so we would be able to keep ourselves alive.

The fear of dying is what drives us humans to do desperate crazy things for survival, exactly what I am doing right now.

"KYAAAAAAA! STAY AWAY FROM ME DEMOOOOOON!" I screeched at the top of my lungs as I try to make sense of my panic, the ringing distorted sound following me closely and only the sound of rushing air was my warning as I dodged to the left, seconds later a sharp projectile was embedded on the spot where I was used to be.

_OH MY GOD! IS THAT A FUCKING BONE! I COULD HAVE DIED BY THAT IF I DIDN'T DODGED!_

An 'eek' left my lips when another barrage of bony and sharp projectiles came my way, shakily dodging them all while I pray for a miracle to happen, but knowing my luck and relationship with the God that probably rules my life – I'm looking at you ROA, I'm looking at you – that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

"Stop dodging my future lunch, just stay still and let me eat you!" The skeleton like demon growled, his large lower fangs gleaming at the pale moonlight.

_Why does this gotta happen when it's only two more days left before I leave this hellhole! Why Lady Luck?! Why do you do this to me?!_

"GAH! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I'M NOT THAT TASTY, I WOULD TASTE HORRIBLE! I PROMISE!" Using my sword, I deflected more of his bony knives, one of them lightly scratching my cheek.

"Ooooh… I would beg to differ," His inhuman red eyes gleamed in the darkness as a growl left his large serrated mouth. "your blood smells divine to me and I would love to drink every drop of it." The demon said it all, a low moan following his statement, hunger in his sound being the only thing that alerted me to dodge once again.

Jumping towards the branch of a tree, I narrowly escaped the jutting bones that ran across the ground where I was at, I could only picture myself getting skewered by the sharp ivory.

"Hehe, for a scaredy cat you sure move pretty well." He said smugly, the bones slowly retracting from the ground, his feet planted firmly where he stood.

_This is my chance! God this is crazy!_

The demon seemed to be confident that I wouldn't approach him because of my fear, taking to account that the bones probably came from his feet and he's not moving, he needs all those bones retracted before he can move. Calming my mind was a difficult task but never impossible, so as an incentive, I recalled Jii-chan's encouraging words before I left to this death trap of an exam.

"_Like I've always said to you, it's okay for you to run away, it's okay for you to cry, but just remember this Zenitsu. I will always be proud of you. And always," A rough hand settled on her head. "come back to me alive."_

Breathing softly in the familiar pattern of my breath style, I took a crouched stance similar to the thunder breathing's first form, only that my feet aren't too far apart but my squat even lower. Closing my eyes, I focused on my hearing, focused on the demon before me

"Storm breathing, First form: Thunderstruck."

I pushed off the branch I was on, the sound of a startled gasp remains nothing to me as I opened my eyes again, facing the dreary forest, my sweaty hand still gripping my borrowed sword. Hearing movement coming from my back, I leapt forward, flipping through the air and facing the demon who is now missing a head.

"H-How?" The decapitated head from the ground asked in confusion, disbelief surrounding his fading sound.

There was pain, confusion, sadness and relief coming from the demon, the sound no less painful but more pitiful. Tears started welling up in my eyes unconsciously at the sound his heart made as he died, red eyes that used to be filled with feral hunger now replaced by acceptance and relief as he stared at me. Looking at me like I am someone else.

"K-Kiri… I'm sorry."

_'I won't be going where you are now love, I'm so sorry for everything.'_

I watched in a daze as the body disintegrated into ash and nothing, leaving behind a brown ripped at the edges hakama.

No time to be surprised at how clear I heard his thoughts, relief and sadness warring inside of me.

Demons used to be humans; I know this for a fact. Humans that were turned into bloodthirsty monsters, by some mad monster who wants power more than anything.

Demons, as much as I fear them, they're all nothing but pitiful creatures. Living long lives as they were but constantly living in fear. Fear of the sun, fear of the monster that created them, fear of the demon slayers coming for their necks.

Their innermost fear of having lost their humanity day by day.

(Not all of them I guess, I've heard pretty nasty things all around me by these fellows, stray thoughts, downright horrid and traumatizing. Never more had I wished that I have normal ears.)

It must be hard to live like that.

Picturing it for myself makes me want to crawl in a six feet hole and never leave. To say that I'd rather die is an understatement, seeing that I'm right here in this world, in my second life, all brought on by my fear of living alone and carrying the guilt of just standing there, having done nothing.

As one would have already figured out, fear is what drives me as a person.

It must have been a long time that I was just standing there by myself, staring at the beaded necklace on the ground that the demon was wearing on his neck, the wooden charm with the Kanji staring back at me.

'Kiri' it says.

Blinking out of my stupor, I wiped the tears away with one swipe. Inhaling deeply, I turned around and moved forward without glancing back.

_Just two more days. _I staggered in my step, swiftly correcting my balance before I could faceplant on a particularly thick jutting tree root. _Just two more days and it'll be over._

Sighing to myself, I quickly took off running, away from the circling cacophony of distorted noises.

_Jii-chan, I'm coming home soon._

* * *

**Omake: More than Words**

**~Zenitsu age 10~**

**~Giyuu age 15~**

**~Kaigaku age 11~**

Yuu stared at Kai with an impassive gaze before deliberately ignoring his existence, giving a small genuine smile towards me.

"How are you doing Zen?"

Giving a smile of my own, I expertly ignored the fuming boy beside me, swallowing the rice cracker that I had been chewing.

"I'm doing great, I should be the one asking you that, being a demon slayer and all."

His ocean blue eyes soften a touch, the lapping waves on the shore sounding incredibly peaceful to my ears.

"Zen…" He started softly, his smile widening just a tad, his hand reaching towards my cheek, removing the unnoticed crumb there, Kai giving off a sound of the familiar shrill jealousy for some reason, biting at his cracker rather aggressively.

"Right, right. You're doing fine, obviously since you're here and uninjured. You sound fine too." Hell yeah, I'm still well versed with Giyuunese, basing off of his reaction. "And that makes me really happy, you being fine I mean."

He tilted his head to the side, one eyebrow raising as he tapped at the sword by his side.

"Oh, training's doing fine. I'm still trying to create my own forms, I just got through my breathing patterns, still need to solidify that though since it's the foundation of my moves."

After taking a sip of his tea, one side of his mouth lifted up in a smirk as he placed his hand over his thigh. Causing me to blush and narrow my eyes at him.

"Shush you! I'm working out of my clumsiness okay! It's just that I'm still getting used to using much longer legs, you don't have to laugh at my face!"

There was a _thunk_ as a palm hit the table's surface, disturbing some of its content.

"What do you mean laughing?! He's not even saying anything! He's just staring at you with those creepy blank eyes of his!"

Well, that's what he's doing alright. But like I've stated before, I'm well versed in Giyuunese and that means, every slight twitch Yuu makes is translated and given meaning, though I must say, my hearing could also give me a leg up in this case.

Yuu had always been quiet, so the little things he does held more meaning than his cold curt words could ever would.

A true man of action.

"Well Kai, he's laughing right now even if he is just staring at me creepily. That's how Yuu had always been, if you want, I could give you a copy of my written guide, 'How to Giyuunese'. With that, you'll be understanding Yuu's twitches in no time." I said it all perfectly serious, sipping my tea afterwards.

_Ooohh… this cinnamon tea is not too bad, maybe I could ask Yuu to bring some more when he visits._

"And why the hell would I even want a stupid guide book just to understand this freak?!"

I shrugged. "Well, suit yourself."

Ignoring his fuming, I placed down my cup and stood up from my seiza, walking over to Yuu. And since he knows me so well as much as I know him, he undoes his seiza position, taking a much more comfortable seat, shamelessly, I settled on his lap, warm arms readily reeling me in closer to his torso as I sighed to myself, leaning onto his chest where I could hear his steadily beating heart.

"And what the hell are you doing?!"

I turned my head to meet furious turquoise eyes, _why is he even jealous?_ Blinking at his animosity.

"Aahh… Cuddling?"

"CUDDLING?!" The boy snarled, crushing the poor rice cracker in his hand.

_I ain't cleaning that up._

"Yes," A monotone husky low voice spoke near my ear, the arms on my waist tightening exponentially. "we are cuddling."

_Oh._

"Wha— You asshole!"

"Watch your language, I don't need Zen catching your dirty mouth."

_Oh!_

"So what?! It's better than being a fucking pedophile!"

A chin settled a top of my head, as fingers played with my unbound hair.

"But I'm _not_ a pedophile." Suddenly, there were soft warm lips pressing to my temple, a keening sound that could have been made by a scratching a fork to a plate came from a distant as my face grew warm and I'm positive that I look like a cherry by now.

"We're only five years apart." _Not much of a gap_ was left unsaid, leaving Kai in a snarling mess.

With one gentle hand, he settled it on my warm cheek and gently turned my face towards him.

I've always known that Yuu would grow up to be a handsome young man and right now, staring at his face, I could see that he is shedding the baby fat from his cheeks, making his jaw and cheekbones more defined, his pale complexion suiting his impressive blue eyes that were framed by thick long lashes, his raven hair, now much longer, only adding to his aristocratic charm.

An ice cold prince.

Amusement danced in his eyes, obviously enjoying how he can easily rile up the boy on the other side of the room.

"I love you Zen." He spoke in his ever blunt manner, no less sincere in how he truly felt, making me tear up a little bit.

I know that he's doing this to mess with Kai, that for some reason in his own weird way, taking claim of me for some reason. A bit like how he was with Sachi when we first came to live with them. But now, instead of being openly hostile, he becomes affectionate towards me in front of the 'new' face.

_God he still hadn't change much. For now, I'll just go with it and this might be funny._

So with a smile on my face, I also reached out to cradle his face with both hands.

"I love you too Yuu."

The roar that came from Kai could be mistaken for a rabid wild animal, Yuu's answering smug smirk only fueling the hellfire.

_Crap, what did I just start?_

…

From that day on, Kaigaku had an unwavering amount of hostility towards Giyuu. Any mentions of his name would send the boy into blind anger, cursing like a sailor.

Giyuu taunts the boy in return when he visits, enjoying the shower of attention coming from Senritsu in his calm composed way.

* * *

**~Taisho Secret~**

**Giyuu is very affectionate towards Sen and doesn't like sharing her, much like Kaigaku in that regard. Once Giyuu confirms what exactly a person thinks of Sen, he puts off any of the 'competitor' by being extra affectionate to Sen, either for taunting or to make that person feel awkward.**

**The main reason why he doesn't like sharing Sen is because she is his first ever friend/little sister. He still sees Sabito as a competition to Sen's attention.**

* * *

**A/N: Like sucks for me at this moment. Another one of my uncles just died a few days after my maternal grandmother died. Shit just kept piling up one after another and I just… maybe I'll take a break for writing at the moment and I'm deeply sorry about that. I hope you all understand.**

**On a lighter note, canon is approaching so prepare yourselves! At this point in time, Sen doesn't know who Tanjiro is, only that she knows that Urokodaki has taken in another student along with a sister. Kai had already passed his own exam and if I didn't make it clear, Sen is now 15 (physically) going 16, because in canon, Zenitsu was 16 when he was introduced and I'm just trying to make it more coherent for myself at this point because I'm stupid with math. Canon!Zenitsu had also revealed that he can sometimes hear the inner voices of people around him and up until now, Sen had been ignoring them for the most part because she doesn't like being intrusive. Also the fear of how people would take that ability of hers is also a factor as well as having this fear of hearing how people really think of her.**

**She's very self conscious as you guys already know.**

**Anyways, let me know what you guys think of this chapter and I would love hear a response from y'all!**

**Love y'all and stay healthy, peace out!**


	11. What Makes a Coward

**The Life and Times of an Average Coward**

**Chapter 10: What Makes a Coward**

**This was supposed to be posted yesterday 'cause it was my birthday (I don't about y'all but it was September 25 yesterday in my country) but I didn't get to it since I was too tired.**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

I feel like I'm dead already.

_Ughhh…. This headache is killing me and my eyelids feel like it was superglued to my eyeballs for some reason. What was I doing again? Why do I feel like I've ran a marathon through the woods for three whole days?_

My body feels sooo heavy.

_Groaning to myself, I tried to peel open my eyelids only to have light assault my retinas and cast them on fire._

"_AHKaefADca!" I promptly shut them down, covering them with my palms for good measure, the event causing them to water, making me feel even more terrible about myself._

Ah, shit.

_The sound of footfalls alerted me that someone was approaching me, listening closely, I don't recognize the sound of this person at all._

Double shit.

"_W-Who are you?" I licked my lips nervously and started trembling, my brain refreshing and resupplying the past events where it led to me blacking out, lost in the woods and being found by a huge strange man. _

_The unknown person paused from their approach. _

"_W-Where am I? W-Where d-d-did you t-t-take me?!" Cautiously, peeking through my fingers._

_What I saw had me almost passing out once again._

I-IT'S HIM!

"_Are you alright now dear child?" The _very_ tall man asked with a solemn and quiet voice, his pale eyes staring at me unseeingly._

"_I, I, WHO A-ARE YOU?! A-AND W-WHERE HAVE Y-YOU TAKEN M-ME?! A-ARE YOU A K-K-K-KIDNAPPER?! ARE Y-YOU GOING TO SELL MY O-ORGANS INTO THE BLACK MARKET AND L-LEAVE ME TO D-D-D-D-DIE?!" I all but screeched in his face, shuffling all the way to the corner of the room and taking the blanket with me as a shield._

OHMYGODI'MSODEADWHATDOIDO?!WHATDOIDO?!WHATDOIDO?!

_I'm on a full-blown panic mode right now, my earlier stupidity had now come back to bite me in the ass. I'm such a pathetic creature. This is karma for running away from Jii-chan when he's only trying to help me._

_The young man held his hands in front of him in a none threatening gesture, as if to mean he means no harm. But most of all, he started full on crying, an unnerving site because of his looming size._

"_I'm sorry, I don't mean you any harm dear child, I swear it to the Gods above. We are currently at the Tsuchikage Temple, I brought you here because you've passed out at the forest, I hope you are able to understand."_

_Calming myself down, I carefully listened to his heart for any lies, but what I've found only echoes what he had just said. _This is soooo embarrassing! I jumped into conclusions once again!_ The young man's sound is mellow but steady, like a hardpacked dirt that's squishy and soaked with water at the moment, it's a reassuring sound despite being slightly strange. The piano in his tones makes me a bit teary eyed displaying his inherent kind heart, a reminder of the instrument that I can no longer play. _

"_Gah! I'm sorry! I'm really, really, really, really, very, very, VERY sorry! I jumped into conclusion once again! Please forgive me!"_

"_It's quite alright child, I shouldn't have greeted you like that in the forest. I apologize for scaring you so much."_

_Wiping away my tears, I gave a small awkward smile. "I-It's alright. Uhmm… ahhh… what's your n-name Nii-san?"_

"_I apologize again for not introducing myself." He clasped his hands together and bowed. "I am Himejima Gyoumei." He rose up from his bow and gave a kind smile. "And what could be your name be, dear one?"_

_I almost cried once again at his kindness; I can't help but feel guilty for accusing him for something like that when he's only trying to help._

Looks can really be deceiving and I've made a mistake once again.

_Instead of continuing my impulse, I tried for a smile instead, somehow I knew that he can tell that I'm doing the action even though he's blind._

"_My name is Agatsuma Zenitsu. It's nice to m-meet you and t-thank you for taking care of me Himejima-san. I deeply a-apologize once a-again for my b-baseless accusation!"_

_Out of nowhere he started crying once again, his hands still clasped together. Panicking that it was because of something that I just said or a delayed reaction from my earlier panic, I immediately got up and took hold of the young man's crying face, trying in vain to wipe away his tears._

"_P-Please don't cry! I'm sorry for accusing of something t-that you didn't e-even do! I-I'm sorry please forgive me Himejima-san! I-I'm sorry for mistaking your kindness f-for something else!" I felt my own tears flowing down on my cheeks, but I ignored it in favor of the young man before me. "I'm v-very sorry that I d-didn't realized that you were o-only trying to help m-me! I-I'm v-v-v-very sorry for being such an u-ungrateful c-child! I'm s-s-sorry for running away! I'm s-so sorry! P-Please forgive m-me!"_

_My rant came to a halt when a large hand covered my own while one reached out for my own cheek to wipe away the tears._

"_Thank you, Buddha, for letting me meet such a splendid child."_

_What he just said only made me cry even harder. _

_(Because I know how untrue that statement was.) _

_I'm only here because I ran away from Jii-chan and everything that I've promised to do, trying to seek comfort at something so stupid. I ran away from my problems like a damn pathetic coward!_

What's so splendid with that? What's so splendid with a coward like me.

* * *

_It's coming! It's coming!_

Dodging clumsily to the right, I barely kept myself from getting scratched by extremely sharp claws.

"Stay still ma dinner!"

"GAHHH! WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO STAY STILL!" I docked down from another swipe. "I DON'T," Jump, slide and keep running. "LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BEING SOMEONE'S DINNER WHEN I STILL" _In coming projectile from the left, eeeekkk! WAS THAT A HUMAN BONE!_ "HAVEN'T HAD DINNER YET!"

The creature growled, sounding like a very pissed off grizzly bear. "Stop yellin' already! If ya don't want me ta pull out yer throat through yer big mouth."

_SCARY, SCARY, SCARY! SCARY IMAGES BEGONE! SCARY IMAGINATIONS BEGONE! WHY CAN'T THIS GUY STOP CHASING ME AND SHUT HIS MOUTH UP!_

"Or~" The blue haired demon licks his blue tinted lips, shark like teeth making its appearance. "I can claw yer larynx out and pull it until I get that delicious lungs out, ma favorite part, bitter yet salty. Ya seem ta have a healthy pair of them after all. I'm sure that it'll be," He licked his lips in appreciation.

"Delicious." An utterly disgusting moan came from him causing all hairs on my body to rise as cold sweat began to form on my brow, my body locking up at the sudden surge of killing intent.

_This killing intent… I__―__!_

His vivid description had my brain going highwire, the bloody images of my own demise playing out in quick successions, the sounds filled with discord that were followed by anguished screams can be heard all around me as a horrifying background music. The following cries had my heart jumping out of my throat, my brain up in the air and my lungs on my feet. All of the stress I'm experiencing right now had me freezing in place, my half starved and tired state not helping my overall thinking capacity at my dire situation.

All of that all went to a halt when I welcomed the promise of sweet, sweet silence in my mind.

I passed out.

…

When I woke up again there was no demon insight, just a pile of ashes and ratty clothes.

* * *

The Fujikasane Mountain is a misleadingly beautiful place for a place where man-eating demons were held as prisoners.

My eyes wandered at the light purple flowers glowing from above, the daylight adding to its mythical appearance, looking like a place straight out of a Ghibli film. I brought my focus to th vermillion red torii gates where the 'girls' – I'm saying this now but the other one, the black haired one, heart sounds like one that would come from a boy, and seeing that I have encounters with pretty boys – ahem, Mui-chan, ahem – I would be reserving judgement about that – with their blank large plum purple eyes, stood and observed us who have passed the Final Selection.

Both of them look like dolls, with pale skin, red painted lips, both wearing elegant purple kimonos patterned with geometric flowers, their straight hair cut at shoulder length, one black and one white, and a wisteria flower head piece each to finish their dollish ensemble.

They're so doll-like that their polite smile and blank gaze ends up being creepy.

Inhaling deeply, the overpowering scent of wisteria calmed my frayed nerves, casually rubbing at my cheek to remove the dirt that was clinging there after my last faceplant from a misplaced tree root.

_I made it._

I looked to the side to see a boy with a mean look on his scarred face, his aura screaming 'fuck off' in large amounts, his sound not betraying impatience leaking from him. Hearing the fluttering wings of a butterfly from behind me, I turned around curiously to see a beautiful petite girl smiling absentmindedly at the butterfly on her finger, her purple eyes were just as blank, the voice in her heart, all but a tiny whisper that made me a little worried for her mentality. And lastly, my gaze fell to the burgundy haired boy wearing a familiar jinbei styled kimono, light blue with a cloud pattern, the handcrafted warding mask he was wearing the first time I saw him was missing – probably lost in the godforsaken mountain – and now replaced with bandages wrapping around his forehead.

I've been meaning to approach him the first time but my shyness got the better of me, this boy is probably the elusive student of Tengu-jiji and Sachi that they didn't bother to tell me the name of. I was really confused why they hadn't even bother to inform me his name and the name of the sister he had brought with him. They never really told me anything, the two just spoke of having a new student and that's about it, though they mentioned that it isn't advisable to visit them at the moment. Strange right? But I guess that works on my favor as an excuse to focus more on using the Total Concentration breathing style for a longer period of time.

Seeing their student now, the letters didn't justify the words that had described him, that he was a good kid or something along those lines.

He has such a gentle sound, a sound so beautiful, kind and warm that it almost made me cry when I first heard it.

Gentle tones of piano coupled by the soft tinkling of a familiar sounding wind chimes (Kaa-san's wind chimes are still the best!), lapping waves of lake water over the sound of a gentle bonfire. It was a mish mash of everything that feels like home. There's nothing but kindness in his tone, determination to achieve something is also present, understandable since he's also participating on this dangerous Final Selection.

I wonder what could be the reason of a boy with such a gentle sound in entering a life filled with danger and blood.

_God I really made it. I guess the others didn't get lucky as we have._

To approach or not to approach, that is the question. But the options were stolen from me when he stumbled forward because of an injury and as a decent human being, I caught him before he could faceplant.

"Y-You okay?" I murmured softly to the boy, his warm burgundy red eyes staring up at me with surprise.

We stayed like that for a good few seconds.

He nodded carefully. "U-Un. Thank you."

I smiled a little awkwardly as I righted him. "I-It's no p-problem. No need to g-get yourself injured even further if I c-could help it."

He blinked and returned my smile with an easy quirk of his lips. "Congratulations on passing umm…"

"Oh." I flushed in slight embarrassment. "M-My name's Agatsuma Zenitsu and congratulations on passing as well err…"

The boy started to chuckle, but a wince stopped him from further doing so.

"I'm Kamado Tanjirou, it's nice to meet you."

"Z-Zenitsu is fine, Kamado-san. Um… are you alright? Wait, that's a wrong question! Of course you're not alright!" He gave an easy grin. "Thank you Zenitsu and yeah, I had a sprained ankle and maybe cracked a rib. And please, call me Tanjirou."

"Ahh… o-okay." I averted my eyes to the side as I threw his arm over my shoulders, letting my other hand settle on his waist, leaving him leaning and surprised by my actions. It doesn't hurt that we're at the same height level, with him being a half centimeter taller or something.

"Let's go over t-there. I think they're going to s-start their w-welcoming speech and what not."

I ain't just gonna let him be after learning his injuries you know, plus, I got lucky to get out with only some bruises and small scratches, there's no hurt in helping someone that I sorta seconhandedly know of.

"Y-You don't have to! I can―"

"Shush you! I'm just helping a person I know that is injured, what's wrong with that?"

Tanjirou smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "N-No problem." I mumbled, definitely avoiding my gaze to his heartfelt smile.

Walking steadily even with my additional baggage, the four of us present – there's supposed to be a fifth one, but the noisy wild guy left with much enthusiasm – gathered before the 'girls'. Tanjirou tugged on my hand and I nodded.

I removed his arm over my shoulders and let him stand on his own with me hovering just a few ways away that I could catch him if he falls.

"Welcome back." The black haired one started, his – and yes, I'm convinced that he's in fact a _he_ – painted lips quirked upwards.

The white haired one continued. "Congratulations on making back. Being safe and sound is better than anything else."

And I can never more agree with that sentiment.

The thrum of disappointment and grief emanating from Tanjirou surprised me.

'_There's only four… passed out…I couldn't even save him.'_

_Ah. I could say the same thing Tanjirou-kun, I know the feeling. But maybe I should tell him that nobody really died._

A scoff, pure impatience and disgruntlement. "Eh? Just get on with it. What about the blade?" Mohawk hair grounded out.

The real girl, white hair, answered him and not at the same time. "You must first pay for the uniform. Then, you must get your body measured and have your rank engraved."

Trap-kun 2.0 – because the Trap-kun 1.0 title solely belongs Mui-chan – finished it off. "There are ten ranks in total; Mizunoto, Mizunoe, Kanoto, Kanoe, Tsuchinoto, Tsuchinoe, Hinoto, Hinoe, Kinoto, Kinoe. You are all currently a Mizunoto."

"What about the blade?" The boy insisted.

"Today, you will each choose a chunk of Tamahagane Alloy and it will take ten to fifteen days to for your blades to be completed." The girl finally answered. "And also, from now on a Kasugaigarasu will be following and guiding you all."

On cue, a flock of crows cried from above, circling before landing on each one of us. Curiously enough, mine isn't a crow, sweet chirping came from the little sparrow nestled on my palm.

"Eh?"

_~Greetings! It's nice to meet you my new partner. I am Ukogi, pleased to be of your service!~_

I blinked and then smiled. "I can say the same to you as well."

_~You understand me! You understand me!~_

"Well… Let's just say that I have some experience with birds."

Nestled amongst the branches of the huge wisteria tree towards my left, I can hear a rustle of feathers and soft swish of fabric from a deliberate movement, the fluttering sound of wings against a soft petal of a flower, while the familiar feel of the judging piercing gaze was on me.

There's no doubt about it. Kurotsuki is here.

(I am so proud of myself that the regal crow loved the blue scarf that I gifted to him. He says it builds up his individuality amongst his brethren or something along those lines.)

Speaking of judging gazes, I felt a pair of eyes staring at me and when I looked up it was the boy that was dressed as a girl.

(And isn't that funny? I'm a girl dressed as a boy and he's a boy dressed as a girl. What has the world – and you know I'm serious 'cause I said 'the world' and not ZA WARUDO – gone into.)

"The Kasugaigarasu are crows that are used mostly in communication."

There was a thumping sound of anger and irritation before a cry of a crow broke the impromptu staring contest. The mean looking guy had just shrugged his poor new partner – I caught the poor bird – with a fist, a snarl in his face.

Aggressiveness rolled off of him as he neared the two children, stomping heavily on his feet.

_I don't like where this is heading._

"I don't care about some dumb crow!" He let his fist fly towards the girl before grabbing a fistful of white hair, making me cringe, reminding me of a memory from a distant past. Though for some reason the girl – Gah! There's blood! Is she okay?! – and her brother still looked as detached as they were before, though I can't definitely say the same for their sound. "What I want is the blade! Give me the blade! The famed blade of the Demon Slayers! The blade that can change colors!"

'_I need that blade _now_!'_

'_I need that _blade_ now!'_

Ukogi chirped at me incessantly, full of distress, reminding me that I need to breathe, asking me if I'm okay. Hearing a squawk, I eagerly apologized to the poor crow that I caught in my arms though my eyes are still on the spectacle.

I think I would be staying clear from this guy if that's the case.

By the time I was breathing correctly, Tanjirou had apparently made his way towards the mass of thumping anger, had grabbed his arm and now totally threatening him to let go of the girl or he would break his arm.

Damn. Tanjirou can be really scary too.

And seeing that the boy didn't let go, Tanjirou made do of his promise. The creaking sound of the pressured bone turned into a resounding snap, making me flinch at the scrunching sound then the aggressive scarred boy retreated with a cry of pain.

Meanwhile, the other girl on the clearing is still focused on her butterfly and crow, a small absent smile still on her lips.

That girl is scary too. Seeing that she doesn't even have a scratch on her after getting out of the forest and the near emptiness of her smile and her sound is a bit too creepy for me.

_Scary. Just Scary with a capital S. I didn't know that a person with that kind face and the kindest sound could be so violent. As they say, the kindest of people is the scariest when angered._

With shaking footsteps, I neared towards them.

_Because you don't know what to expect from them when they're angry._

"U-Um… Are you o-okay?" I asked from a respectable distance, my eyes trained on the little girl.

The eyes from before returned on my person and I did my best not to wilt to such a dissecting stare. What could he possibly find entertaining with me? Wait, maybe he knows that I am in fact a girl! No, that can't be it… no one until now had find out about it except for the people I consider family. Everyone who's in the small village nestled between the hills of Ushigome District doesn't know any lick about my true gender, except for Amai-obaa and the village doctor, Kobayashi-sensei, of course.

"I'm fine." She nodded elegantly, daintily wiping away the trailing blood from her lips with an embroidered handkerchief.

"Are you done?" The monotone apathetic voice let my eyes dart towards the indifferent fellow crossdresser, a hint of mocking inflecting his plant like sound.

"If so, then please go over there and choose the alloy that would be used for the construction of your blade." He directed to the table – which for some reason I didn't notice – filled with rocks or the so called core alloy for the famed Nichirin blade.

I've heard so much about this Nichirin blade. From my two cultivators slash gramps, my brothers and demon slayer friends and even from my penpal – a surprising fact – Oyakata-sama. How this Nichirin Blade is said to change colors according to the wielder. How it is the only tool that it is possible for a fleshy human to kill a demon. How it only changes colors when it is held by someone who had enough skill and potential.

_Geez… I wonder if I even have a lick of that potential._

* * *

After the whole ordeal of choosing ores for our swords, which I chose the one with the most suiting sound when I hit it, we were shuffled in line to have our body measurement by the ninja looking guys called the Kakushi, paid for the fitted uniforms and we're left to go on our merry way to go the _fuck_ home.

Sorry for cursing there. I'm just really tired, like _reeeaaallly _tired, emphasis on the really.

My eyes wandered over to Tanjirou, the poor boy limping now that his earlier adrenaline has gone down the drain.

Walking up to him I offered a faltering smile. "U-Um, if you like I can carry you downwards." He seems surprised by the offer. "I m-mean if you would like me to do so! I-I'm not forcing you to or anything, it's just that, you have a sprained ankle and that w-wouldn't be good if you keep using it. I can also maybe c-carry you all the way to your current home if you want and it isn't a big deal 'cause I'm not that injured and I know the way there a-and oh Music Gods I'm gonna stop now 'cause I'm rambling and I'm starting to s-sound like a total creep!"

I resumed burying myself in the ground in my mind as I covered up my heated face with my hands. Because really, who the hell just offers a piggyback ride towards the other's home to someone they just met and finally admitting that you know where said other's home is.

Gods, that's major creepy stalker alert.

There was a fluttering of a hand before a warm hand settled on my left shoulder.

"You're really kind Zenitsu." My face just got hotter, what kind of person is this guy? "But I don't really want to impose."

I peeked at him between my fingers and he's smiling once again, his sound still that gentle beautiful piano.

_Who the hell just smiles at someone and calls them kind after being offered a piggyback while the other just admitted of knowing their address?! This guy has one too many times had his head bashed during the Final Selection!_

Finally after a few more stilted awkward seconds, I decided to remove my hands from my face, plus it's also rude to talk to someone by having it covered and I'm definitely NOT rude.

"Y-You're not imposing, I am offering. You d-don't have to if you d-don't want to. It's just that," I pointed lamely at his bandaged foot. "It could get worse."

The boy tilted his head not unlike a puppy dog, his hanafuda earrings swaying with the movement as he seemed to sniff the air around him.

Seemingly confirming something, he smiled once again. "Then I would like take you up on that offer."

"A-Aren't you curious of why I know w-where you're currently staying at?" I started of tentatively after a few minutes of silent trekking, his weight on my back more of a relief rather than a burden.

All the weight training Jii-chan had put me through is really paying off. The added mass on me feels like a familiar thing only a few kilograms lighter. Compared to a basket filled with river rocks, Tanjirou weighs way lighter, the fact that this would only take for maybe three or four hours is nothing compared to the hellish training that the old man made me do.

(Running down the hill towards the river with a basket, filling it up with rocks while running _through_ the shallow part of the river and once the basket was filled, I'd run over five hills and around the village, back to the house then to the river once again, dump out the rocks and repeat the sequence all over again for at least half the day or until Jii-chan was satisfied. Sword training and breathing exercises for the later part of the day, the one I undoubtfully enjoy the most.)

Sometime during the trek down, Tanjirou had kept his head close to the side of my neck, sniffing at me once in a while.

"I actually am curious about that; I just don't know how to bring it up again since you seemed uncomfortable talking about it."

Licking my dry lips, I noted how this boy is very considerate even to a stranger, he's really too nice for words.

"Ya know you're really weird. You aren't really weirded out by the fact that I know where your home is?"

"I―"

"Wa-Wait! On s-second thought, _don't_ answer that. It's already embarrassing for me as it is." The heat started creeping from my cheeks and down to my neck, a good thing that Tanjirou isn't facing me right now or he'll be seeing me turn into a red human. "T-The reason why I know where your home is because I used to live with Tengu-jiji and Sachi, both of them are family you know. Tengu-jiji is a mentor slash granpa to me and Sachi's an older brother figure." I smiled to myself, picturing them in my mind. "Both of them had wrote me some vague passages about you and your sister in their letters, but for some reason they didn't really told me both of your names." I grumbled the last part out exasperatedly as I carefully went down the steep slope, managing to avoid slipping on the rocks that had tripped me from a week ago.

Silence reigned once again and if it weren't to the erratic pace of Tanjirou's heart I would have thought that he fell asleep.

"Hmmm… So you're also a student of Urokodaki-san and the younger sibling Sabito-san – the one who calls him Sachi – had talked about." Hesitation laced his gentle tones. "Did they… did they say some things about Nezuko?"

I hummed to myself. "Based on the feminine name, that's the name of your sister, right?"

Once again, he stilled in my hold, apprehension, worry and hope running through him in an allegro of piano notes. Tanjirou is hiding something. Something probably big like his sister being a hanyou – half demon, half human hybrid – or something equally as crazy and terrifying.

(Could cases even like that exist? I know that once a human's been ingested with demonic blood, they either change into a demon or die immediately. But maybe the hanyou theory can be possible if a demon and a human paired together, then maybe they can have an offspring or another. An unlikely outcome since demons often lose their shit when there's food readily available for them, they're likely to eat the human than to take them us a partner. Plus, if Tanjirou's sister really _is_ a hanyou, wouldn't that make Tanjirou a hanyou too? Very unlikely, his sound is entirely human though a bit too beautiful for a human. Though really, this is not the time for me to get stuck in my head when I'm talking to another person, that brain fart is also laughable at best.)

Doesn't matter though. Unless he spouts shiz about him being the next Demon King then I'll be dropping him on his ass and try to avoid him as much as possible. But him being a Demon King is very unlikely, I can't picture kind, gentle Tanjirou to a wild, animal sounding man-eating monster.

(But then again, looks can be deceiving, but that's why I have special ears for that, I can hear a lie from miles away and tell what emotions or sometimes thoughts a person has, and nothing so far leads to Tanjirou being an evil demon lord mastermind.)

Tanjirou is a good person. I've witnessed that for myself, so whatever the hell he's hiding, I trust him enough not to spring the very dangerous stuff right at my face. Just something in him makes me trust him so easily. I don't know if it's his gentle, heartwarming inner sound or his honest warm eyes that had me trusting so easily on someone I just made an acquaintance with, but there's something there, something that speaks volumes of his trustworthiness.

Plus, I think he's the type of boy who doesn't know how to lie.

"Yes. Nezuko is my sister."

Feigning ignorance at his obvious apprehension, I answered honestly. "Not really. They didn't even tell me your names; it's really frustrating how I need to find it out on my own. They p-probably think it's funny if I meet their student during the Final Selection." Snorting, I raised my nose while an unbidden smile stretched in my lips. I felt Tanjirou relaxing onto me, his arms now less probable to strangle me. "So much confidence to a coward like me. You probably seen me faint when I first came to the site. It's seriously embarrassing! I even stumbled at my own feet when we first entered the forest."

Tanjirou chuckled good naturedly and not in a way that is mocking.

"I don't really remember that happening, but it's probably because I was occupied myself and I bet the others are feeling the same."

"Yeah, but I was the only one who actually f-f-fainted, I can hear their laughter blaring in my head when that happened, good thing the stupid test haven't started yet, I have no doubts that those two proctor kids would have any problems in tossing me into the wilderness. And how the hell did you even forgot about that? You're the one who assisted me remember? Or did you bash your head too many times in the Mountain of Death that you forgot? I think I even faintly heard you calling out to me before I fell totally unconscious."

I could practically hear his brain working.

"No. I don't remember that happening." He hummed. "Maybe you're right too. I did bash my forehead when I was fighting the 'Hand Demon'."

My brain stuttered to a halt when he said 'Hand Demon'.

Mechanically, I turned my head to look sideways at the boy. "W-W-Wait! D-Did you just say H-H-H-H-Hand D-D-Demon! _The_ H-Hand Demon!"

"Umm… yes? Is there something wr―"

"_OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG?!"_ My sudden screech had the boy flinching and I held myself back from further imitating a banshee on steroids. "That _thing_, that H-H-H-H…. arghhhfsdg _demon_ was the one responsible for killing off Tengu-jiji's other previous students. T-The main reason why…" My eyes watered from the onslaught of sudden emotions. The memory of that night, of Sachi crying on my shoulder a few years back as I console him with a lullaby.

* * *

"_You know, it's okay to be weak sometimes, you don't always have to be strong. That's why we're here Sabito, we're your family, we'll be the strength that _you_ would need, we'll be anything that you need us to be, so you don't have to face this alone okay? Everything might feel like it has fallen apart, but always remember that you have us to support you every step of the way."_

* * *

"Why Sachi cannot become a swordsman anymore."

I was surprised by the sudden blare of gentle understanding coming from Tanjirou.

"You really love them, don't you?"

I scoffed, rubbing my eyes with a sleeve. Stupid genetics for giving me teary eyes.

"Of course I do! They're my family! A-And damn! You survived from that guy! And even talking about him right now you don't seem scared at all. I wish I could be as brave as you are. At the very end even though I passed, I'm still nothing but a c-c-coward who's afraid of his own shadow."

I looked down at my feet as I said those words. Because it's true. What good would I be as a Demon Slayer if I'm not even capable of facing a demon without the thoughts of running away or worse, blacking out. And I did black out. I fell unconscious as soon as I faced my first demon in a long while, the sound they emitted was hair-raising as I remembered it would be when faced to face. Up until now, I don't know how I got lucky enough for someone to save my ass when I fainted in a forest filled with man-eating beasts. Whoever that was, was so skilled that when I opened my eyes again the demon's already turned to ashes and the person gone without even a trace. I was sure that no one was around that time, but then again, I could be mistaken because of the fear clouding my mind.

Whoever the person who saved my sorry ass is, I will just pray for you to remain alive so that I can thank you properly for saving me when I finally meet you.

"You know, you're not as cowardly as you think you are Zenitsu." Tanjirou halted the train of self-deprecating thoughts.

I raised one split fuzzy eyebrow, though he probably wouldn't see it either way. "Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"Well…" He trails off and I waited for him to tell me that it was in fact an insult. "To start with, you even came to the Final Selection, it takes great courage to even do that."

"That's because Jii-chan – he's my other mentor – and the others would probably kill me themselves if I put it off once again. I was supposed to participate last year but I chickened out." I refuted his claim with a grumble.

"Well…" I could practically here him thinking of a way to refute the claim. "You participated now, finished it until the end of the week and didn't quit until it's over."

"I guess you _are_ right. Some of the other participants went down the mountain after a rough and scarring encounter with a demon, I d-don't really blame them though. The only reason why I didn't quit was because Jii-chan drilled into my skull how I can't just give up easily on my problems and of course," I pushed up Tanjirou when I found him slipping down. "the threat of bodily harm is also in effect."

Plus, the disappointment that comes after is also a thing. After all the support the two old men had given me, not giving up on me once when I've given up at myself so many times to count, I wouldn't want to disappoint them.

Disappointing them is the farthest thing in my mind.

There was a terse silence that followed, the slight tingle of irritation coming from the redhead had me hunching with tense shoulders. _Here it is, he's probably gonna yell at me now that he knew how cowardly I am. He's probably not gonna talk to me after this._

"You're really negative about yourself, aren't you?" It felt more of a confirmation than an accusation and I let myself look down at the beaten down mountain path.

Tanjirou sighs. "Zenitsu, do you know what are the traits that makes up to be a coward?"

Of course I do. I embody the essence of a coward. Why the hell wouldn't I know?

"A person who always cry for help instead of doing something about a problem themselves and chooses to remain idle and passive, a person who lives in lies and denials, a person who,"

"_I don't want to be here! I have enough of this training! I'm quitting! I can't take it anymore Jii-chan!" _

"Runs away from their problems instead of facing them."

"Correct." I felt him nod his head. "You're completely correct. But you know, running away isn't always a sign of being a coward."

I have to pause and do a double take on that one.

"What do you mean Tanjirou? Isn't running away from your own problems the truest mark of a coward?"

If I could have subtitles right under my face it would have stated _[visible confusion] _in italicized letters. Come on, what else there is to it in being a coward? I know that I am brave enough to proclaim to the world that I am in fact a coward.

Cowardice had put me in this whole situation and nothing else.

I mean, I'm so spineless that I can't defend myself from my bullies in my first life, always eager to bow out just so that I don't get hurt – which was really stupid because I ended up emotionally and mentally hurt instead – taking the brunt of slurs head on. I'm not brave enough to conquer the world on my own by becoming an orphan at age fifteen – going sixteen – so I took on the bullets and faced Death. But instead of facing Death, I faced Life instead once again, now one that has constant instances to face Death once again. I'm just a pitiful puppet, dancing around to the tunes of whatever omnipotent being that rules my life just so that I don't get a chance to meet Death again for anytime soon.

Really, a total pushover and ROA's favorite cosmic doormat just so that they could get a few laughs about my whole existence.

I've already written journals titled "The Life and Times of an Average Coward" detailing my life as you may know… as a coward, the fact that when Kai found it – it doesn't have my name written on it – and returned it to me without question is a hard slap to my face.

(The bastard tried to read it, but jokes on him, it's written all in Romaji except for the title. My greatest excuse for actually using alphabet letters was because Gyou-nii and Oyakata-sama had gifted me _rare _English books and a sort of how to guide in reading said _rare_ English books.)

(I'm thanking them both for letting me have an excuse in doing that.)

"Well yes, but also a no." _Did this boy just unintentionally referenced a meme? _But as soon as that thought came, I slapped myself mentally, I need to focus damnit! Not poking fun of memes that has yet to exist. "Often times, running away is the right choice, let yourself breathe before tackling it again with a clearer mind. Actually," He lets out a sigh, his warm breath hitting my neck. "it _can_ take more courage to flee than to fight because at the end of it all, you chose the path where you thought is right. Cowards submit themselves into their fears, and those who don't allow fear to dictate their actions are nothing but courageous. That's why you're not a coward Zenitsu."

From the corner of my eyes, I watched Tanjirou's eyes go half lidded with tiredness, a tired smile on his face. My head not exactly registering his words at the moment because if it was, I'll be crying myself to dehydration at the absolute sincereness in his heart. I know that it isn't a lie, that's for sure, he's the type of guy where his words also resonated with his heart, a very, very rare type of guy.

"Even though you're afraid at the prospects of being a Demon Slayer, you didn't let your fears get the best of you and you made it, you became a Demon Slayer."

_I actually made it…_

"A person who stands up to their fear is not a coward."

…

His forehead hit my shoulder softly, his tiredness getting to him, relaxing and relying solely to me now.

"…Is it alright for me to sleep on you?"

I didn't deigned him an answer and grunted wetly, looking straight on with blurry eyes, Tanjirou's breath was slowly evening out into a relaxed rhythm and it stayed like that until he finally fell asleep, giving his body time to rest.

I'm just trying to control myself so that I don't actually whimper.

I could also definitely say that I would really love to sleep right now but unlike Tanjirou, I somehow got the better end of the stick, only having scratches and a few bruises here and there, totally manageable, if anything, I'm just emotionally and mentally drained, my fainting spells actually helped me in conserving energy. The fact that it is also counterproductive when I'm in a middle of the test where man-eating demons lurk everywhere was not lost on me.

But that's over now.

I actually made it and survived the whole ordeal.

I'm a little amazed at myself, now that the shock is starting to leave my system.

_Thank the Music Gods! I made it! I actually made it!_

Tightening my hold on Tanjirou with my right arm to keep him up, I wiped away the tears with my left arm, trying to clear my vision.

"_You know, you're not as cowardly as you think you are Zenitsu."_

_GODDAMNIT NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN! AFNSJKDNJSESDMNDV!_

Can't I just get a break from all the crying?! I'm freaking dehydrated right now and need some serious H2O in my body, but my brain just won't let my tear ducts rest. What would Jii-chan even think if I pathetically died of dehydration after qualifying as a Demon Slayer?

* * *

"_Even if you don't see it yourself, you girl, are very brave. Being brave does not mean that you do not fear anything. Being brave is about facing that fear, admitting that you are weak and overcoming it." A warm hand shuffled my skull cap once again, messing it up and letting some of the longer strands free. I stared at the old man; his eyes closed as he smiled from ear to ear._

"_And what you are doing now is nothing short of bravery."_

* * *

_GAAAAAAAAAHHH! WHERE DID THAT MEMORY COME FROM?! THAT WAS EIGHT YEARS AGO WHEN I FIRST CAME TO JII-CHAN! WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN?! YOU'RE FURTHER SUPPLYING MY FEELS TRIP WITH MORE TEAR AMMO!_

…

This will be a long walk home and I sure do hope to stop crying my eyes out.

Stupid genetics.

* * *

Tanjirou woke up with a start, confused really, on why was he moving without moving his legs, but a quick sniff was all it needed to identify why, his brain also catching up to what happened before he slept.

"_Falling fast asleep,_

_May this little boy find blissful dreams~_

_Among the ash and the flames that light up the night sky!_

_One by one, falling softly~"_

A beautiful, gentle voice sung softly and it surprised him even further that it was coming from the person that helped him and let him rest. Taking another whiff, his body relaxed once again when he finally confirmed that he is, in fact, safe as can be.

Zenitsu's smell is surprisingly calming despite how jittery she is. He doesn't know exactly know why that is, but there's just something about her that is calming and reassuring.

Tanjirou knows for a fact that Zenitsu is a girl despite how she is currently dressed, her scent had gave it all away.

It screams femininity and gentleness, _kindness_. She smells of peach blossoms at their bloom, a rainforest at constant downpour and of sweet bean paste, the scent of blood, demons and wisteria are still on her understandably, but it doesn't deter from her pleasant smell.

"_With your silhouette_

_Casting shadows of your lovely face,_

_I watch the sky as a million dreams are shining~_

_Little dreams, little drea__―__"_

_It's so warm._

"Oh, did I wake you up? I'm s-sorry if I did! I was just bored and I have this song and melody in my mind so I―"

"No! It's okay, I don't mind it. You have a beautiful voice Zenitsu, it almost pulled me back to sleep."

And it's true, her singing voice is on par with his mother's, lilting with gentleness and warmth.

"I-If that's the case, you wouldn't mind to― _AHHHHHHHHHH!_"

The sudden scream had Tanjirou's hold on Zenitsu tighten, though he started looking around to what might have caused her distress.

"I swear I'm n-not a girl! I just s-sound like one okay! That was me trying to imitate a girl's vo-voice! An impression! Y-Yeah! Just an impression!" Zenitsu's voice took a deeper turn, one that she had been using since the beginning when they first met, one that can easily pass of as a man with a very, slightly raspy higher tone.

It was actually impressive and something Tanjirou wouldn't have associated with a soft looking face. So his suspicion was correct, she really was trying to pass off as a boy, and she would have if it weren't for her scent, her face is more feminine too if anything.

Tanjirou contemplated lying to her because the situation causes her so much distress. But that's like spitting on her kindness if he did such a thing, it's already weighing on him how he's being carried by the girl.

Tanjirou decided to speak the truth.

"Zenitsu, there's no need to worry. I already knew you were a girl from the start."

"You _WHAT?!"_

"You see, I have a really great sense of smell and from what I detected by your scent," He couldn't help but flush in embarrassment when he realized he was unconsciously sniffing her neck, her mutual embarrassment is also clear with her red ears. "T-that you're a girl."

…

"A-Ah is that so, s-so you're kinda like Tengu-jiji with his n-nose."

"Un."

_This is awkward._

…

"D-Do you mind if I… c-continue singing?"

Red eyes blinked but a slow smile crept to his face.

…

"No, I don't mind."

* * *

Passing rice paddies and getting hailed by some farmers who knows of me, our destination is almost in sight, but everything around me stilled when I heard that familiar sound.

_Why is it there?! Why is… WHY IS THERE A __**DEMON**__ INSIDE THERE?!_

Breathing became hard all of a sudden, the weight on my shoulders feeling lightweight as I desperately tried to find Sachi's and Tengu-jiji's sound.

"Zenitsu? Is there something wrong? You can put me down if you're tired, I think I can handle it from he―"

_They're there, but the demon is also not moving around, likely staying inside the only room. But why is it there?! Why is there a demon close to them?! Tengu-jiji would have noticed it already, they're even at the same room! Sachi's somewhere outside, probably training, both of them sounded calm enough but I still have to check._

"Zenitsu? Zenitsu! Calm down! Breat―"

Inhaling deeply, I tightened my hold under Tanjirou's knees and bolted.

I ignored Tanjirou's tight grip on my neck and his worried shouts, focusing on just moving my legs, everything blurring around me as I run at my fastest speed and in no time, I was by the door and opening it with a bang.

"TENGU-JIJI A-ARE YOU SAFE?! WHY IS THERE A D-D-DEMON IN THE NEXT ROOM! ARE YOU GUYS BEING HELD H-H-H-HOSTAGE! IF SO WE, BETTER GO NO―"

"ZE-ZENITSU! CALM DOWN! NEZUKO'S NOT DANGEROUS!"

My breath left me when Tanjirou subsequently put me in a chokehold, his panic doubling mine by miles.

"Y-You're… ch-choking me… urk." My hands went to my neck, trying to push off Tanjirou's arms.

"AH S-SORRY!" The boy got off of me immediately, leaving me on my knees, gasping for breath.

Running at top speed using the Total Concentration breathing technique while dead tired is not a very good idea. And now that my mind is slightly cleared away of panic, I noted the calmness and happiness in the old man's note.

Speaking of the old man, a door slid open to reveal Tengu-jiji in all his masked glory.

And later was followed by a seemingly beautiful young girl who also happens to be the demon I've been hearing.

"Tengu-jiji! There's a d-d-d-d-d-demon behind y-you! What the hell is goi―"

Then the bamboo muzzled demon girl went charging on us.

I can't even pull myself to a scream when she went pass me and tackled Tanjirou. Mechanically turning over my shoulder just to make sure that he wasn't being eaten alive, I watched with wide eyes as the girl nuzzled into a crying Tanjirou, hugging him and making muffled 'hn' sounds.

"Don't scare me like that again Nezuko! You were in a coma for so long. I thought you're never gonna wake up again! Don't do that again, you hear me!"

_What's going on?! I'm h-hella confused! I'm missing great context around here!_

"Zenitsu-kun, Tanjirou, you both came back alive."

Familiar arms wrapped around me, bringing me onto their chest, I vaguely felt tears splattering my cheek, my mind slow and going elsewhere as my oxygen seemed to ran low.

"What's going on T-Tengu-jiji? Why is there a d-d-demon here? Why is it _h-hugging_ Tanjirou so familiarly?"

"Shh… I'll explain it all later, just cooperate and breathe along with me, you're hyperventilating."

_Oh, so that's why everything is getting blurrier._

"Zen-chan! Tanjirou! What's going on? Is she okay?"

A hand settled on my back as a took a steadying breath.

"S-Sachi… Tengu-jiji… I'm sleepy and t-tired."

"Go ahead and rest, we will be here when you wake up and then we'll explain everything."

I struggled in keeping my eyes open but I knew that it was a losing war, so I finally gave in and let darkness take hold of me.

I know that there's a demon nearby and any sane person would never bother passing out when that happens, but I trust them, I trust my precious family who is also with me at the moment.

_I guess I'll be finding out the truth later then._

* * *

**Omake: Growing up**

**~Zenitsu age 14~**

**~Giyuu and Sabito age 19~**

**~Kaigaku age 15~**

_When did she start looking like that?_

Giyuu and Sabito simultaneously thought as they watched the smiling young woman across the table. They watched as her blonde locks was brushed over an ear by lightly calloused fingers, her long dark lashes brushing on pink cheeks as her coral colored lips were pulled in a beatific smile. Probably noticing their stare, her eyelids opened and warm amber stared at them with love and affection.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?" As she said this, fingers started roaming across her smooth fair skin, looking for some sort of food crumb.

_When did she stopped being adorable and became beautiful?_

Beside her, Kaigaku scoffed and gruffly took her chin, much to their irritation and mortification, his fingers brushed her lips in an almost careful manner, going over it twice before pulling away.

"Geez, you should really stop eating like a damn pig." He huffed and looked away from her.

The boy's blush didn't go unnoticed by the two, and as if noticing their ire, the boy had the audacity to smirk at them, turquoise eyes filled with mirth as the fingers he used to _caress_ the girl's lips went to his own lips.

_I'm going to kill him._

Their killing intent spiked through the roof, carefully directed only to Kaigaku and not in any way touching the still oblivious girl.

Sabito opened his mouth. "You're going to participate in the Final Selection soon right?" The boy made sure to keep happy thoughts running through his head – like chopping off a certain annoying boy's head – in case if Zenitsu is listening to them.

Kaigaku looked unsure and apprehensive, pausing from eating a peach mochi. "Yeah? So what?"

Sabito returned his glare with a winning smile.

"How about you spar with the both of us? We wouldn't mind _training_ you."

Without a pause, Kaigaku answered.

"No."

Much to his surprise, Giyuu was the one to argue back.

"I see. Both of us are too hard for you to handle then. We're sorry for offering."

Sabito withheld a snicker, Giyuu really knows how to rile someone up when he opens his mouth. It's a natural talent of his, Sabito can still recall the times when his words had caused plenty of arguments between them as children. But Sabito is a man now, and a true man is patient with everything that he does.

But still, if Sabito was Kaigaku, he would have accepted the challenge.

A true man protects his honor after all.

Kaigaku abruptly stood up. "You guys are on! I ain't no weakling! I can take you both and then some!"

Giyuu stood up as well. "Are you sure? I'm ranked as one of the Hashira now after all."

The younger teen flushed in anger; you can audibly hear the grinding of his teeth.

"Just you wait, I'm gonna snatched that seat of yours one day! Just you wait unemotional bastard!"

With that, the three went outside to continue their argument, subsequently forgetting about the sole girl in the room.

With a blank gaze she started cleaning the table, ignoring the _manly_ cries of passion going on outside.

"They're all idiots."

* * *

**~Taisho Secret~**

**Though not mentioned, Giyuu and Muichiro had already met when Giyuu became one of the Hashira. Surprisingly, even thought they are both known for being silent, the two of them started a conversation about who is Sen's favorite.**

**It ended in a sparring match which nobody won because they were scolded by Oyakata-sama.**

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Still alive and kicking and I'm surprisingly doing well seeing that last month was pretty shit for me with the passings of my relatives. Anyways, sorry if there's any wrong grammars or misspelling because I'm dumb at English and it's my second language. I tried to post this yesterday as a celebration to my birthday but I was just too tired to continue proofreading and I almost slept if it wasn't for the laptop falling in my face.**

**Thank you for reading this and I hope you tell me what you think about the chapter at the review section.**


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